I don’t gotta brag to you that im one of the best/
I kno my punches make you snitch cuz im one that’s possessed/.
With lots of magic and p.s.a features/
Think im good well how about these weird lookin creatures/.
They spit like me with a smooth touch of potential/
I kno im last to spit but maybe im to essential/.
For this site maybe, but realy no need to say that/
Cuz Im always versing somebody that’s good in a hard combat/.
Its realy hard to take the win and get 5 votes/
Try to write 39 lines its hard to hit the harder notes/.
Now this is my very first song that I have ever released/
I hope my style dosent die down and become deceased/.
If that happened I would get mad and stunt out herbs/
Well realy I don’t think that would happen cuz I got pretty good verbs/.
In my songs there well done with better vocab/
Then most people becuz im always studying like im up in my own lab/.
I never stop to let a faggot win against-me/
Drop that faggot herb real quick and believe that dre sensed-me/.
He found me freestylin on the radio just like emeinem/
And if I see my gurl and her freinds ill be sure to spend lots of money on them/.

uppin

Strechted Lines

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My Lines Are ILL yo

not realy the fit the rhythem in my song i went with im so fly i went with but uppin for feedback

yo uppin

yea,.,, it ok... some lines were streched.. but still fit on beat i s'pose... lol... some lines didn't even rhyme together, like you jus slapped random thoughts together... such as "Try to write 39 lines its hard to hit the harder notes/.
Now this is my very first song that I have ever released/
I hope my style dosent die down and become deceased/.
If that happened I would get mad and stunt out herbs/"

like the release, deceased lines fine, and herbs goes wit the line after, but they don't connect in any way ... work on that shit,.,, 1... where in canada u from?, i'm in Tdot

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Get Soul Clapped, E-Style!

^you need to elavate if you dont get that then buddy thats how we write on the net lol learn learn learn is what you need

This Was Ok

Nothing That I Havnt Seen Or Herd B4
Peep Out My Peice Below

Thats Creativity For Ya Ass

Over All This Peice Was Ok
6-10

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I am Here To Save You All

thanks man and i believe that it was good cuz yer a rank vet and has rank songs better the mine by alot but.
ya uppin

its was ok
could have been better, sense, you know, you supposively beat me in a battle...
ryme sceme was okay, dont know what homie was talking about-but- you're still garbage... reading text from you are like a replay-seen it b4

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"i will never be a teen model"

man you talk lots of shit for someone i worked in a battle i was sayin shit about how i spit rhymes n shit and magic n stuff you should understand it or i will work you again
uppin

yea mate i thought it was good. i like ur wordplay and ye u got alright verbs too.

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^thanks man uppin

Yea It Was Aight I Think It Could Have Been Alot Hotter If U May Of Taken Your Time I Dont Kno If U Did Or Not And Then Again I Dont Kno Your Skills Since Im New To This Site But.


Overall I Give This 6.5/10

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Standin' on the corner straight slangin' rocks
Aw shit! Here comes the muthafuckin' cops!
So I dash, I ducks, and I hides behind a tree
Makin' sure the muthafuckas don't see me
Now my fat sack of rocks hell yeah i stuffed 'em Police on my draws, i had to pause
And yeah, it's still muthafuck 'em
Now my game is tight, tight as fuck is my game"