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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-16-05, 05:34 PM
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#1
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My Dick Stay Wet
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Rise of the slave*tear drops*PEEP
IP: 3240 794D
July 4, 1916
Dear Diary, I wrote a lil poetry i want you to see. Here.
Im livin life with out a meaning, And no nights do i b dreaming, I thought it was my life that i was freeing, But i have no future other than just being, Just a little something you should see....goodbye for now Sincerely, #10035 *puts diary away,looks out the window*whit man says,"hey nigger in the window get down here and get to work" I live life with censorship on the things i could accomplish I'm held back and inslaved, like the devil is my accomplis this sh*t is non-sense,this cant be my contents, So I Rise to my feet, and hide my defeats, surprise my enemies,the prize im gonna reach and die does the weak, i attempt at my speech,but in my eyes i see the demise of my peeps,they takin everything from me,strippin my abilities holdin me down to the ground,and tien me to the streets Da*n, for my sake, ive got to escape, listen to these words that i preach i got beatings often so i have no feeling, my heart is da only thing bleedin cuz the love dat im seekin is leakin and diein while im reachin *white man walks in*
man says,"Hey nigger didn't i tell you to get workin?Oh you must crave a whippin"
*takes out whip*
slave says,"Yes sir, you told me to get to work"
man says"then y aint ya workin with the rest of those worthless monkeys?"
*un-folds the whip*
slave says"I want more in life"
*slave grabs whip,then grips the mans throat* I can feel my freedom leakin through his pores,i know now i want more this is the rise of the slaves, now i see freedom knockin at my door *door opens* 2nd man says,"you killed your master,you shall die too nigger" *gun-shot fades away over the mountains* black feild worker says,"i guess we will never be free" 2nd black feild worker says,"maybe one of us just did" drop a link with-in 24 hours or this will be closed... http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=165166 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=170910 Last edited by intensify effect : 02-18-05 at 07:44 AM. |
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02-16-05, 05:45 PM
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#2
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I walk & walk over you
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IP: 53ED 4B6B
Man this is some deep shit man. I didn't know you had this emotion man like whoa!.
This is str8 hotness werd.
__________________
.:* Crhyme Sindicate* :.
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02-16-05, 05:45 PM
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#3
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Light Weight
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IP: C7EE 5FCD
Yo that shit is deep man, real hotness. why everyone in the crew doin black history drops. me and AC doin on in audio. but yea u cant be doin this man. readin shit this real and emotional makes me mad and shit. but keep it up this shit was hot. 9.5/10
__________________
C.S. The Definition of a Vet...
Phase 1 Topical Co-Captain
Phase 1 Site Battle Winner by knockout ...Is to have Served Your Faction
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02-16-05, 06:34 PM
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#4
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Rastafari Walk Tall
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IP: 5ABB 0B25
damn..Ju dis was some deep ass shit...printed it off and gaveit to ma moms to read and she was like which poet is this..lol
emotional shit, with a message and some history up in there...props -9/10 Peace -AC
__________________
"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer |
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02-16-05, 06:56 PM
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#5
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My Dick Stay Wet
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IP: 3240 794D
Upppiiiinnnnnn Thiiisssss Shhhiiitttt Yyyyyooooo!!!!!!
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02-16-05, 07:40 PM
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#6
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My Dick Stay Wet
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IP: 3240 794D
uppin dis yallll please leave feed back....feed back will be returned
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02-16-05, 08:42 PM
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#7
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My Dick Stay Wet
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IP: 3240 794D
Uppin This Thread Yoooo Forrr Reeaaaalllll
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02-16-05, 09:10 PM
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#8
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I walk & walk over you
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IP: 8F79 1C95
.................................................. ......
__________________
.:* Crhyme Sindicate* :.
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02-17-05, 03:36 PM
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#9
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My Dick Stay Wet
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IP: 0825 899A
^^^uuupppiiinnn!!!^^^
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02-17-05, 03:47 PM
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#10
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Odi et Amo
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IP: A19F D079
Topic hasn't been handled many times before so was nice to read for a change. Approached it in a very personal and emotional way, liked how the story progressed. Found good balance with your vocab, flow was good.
Beginning was nice with the whole diary thing, conversation in between added extra dimension to the story. The best part of the whole piece was the ending, the whole message behind those last lines...damn, raw emotion... black feild worker says,"i guess we will never be free" 2nd black feild worker says,"maybe one of us just did" ^whoa...deep shit... Dope drop baby... DQ
__________________
Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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02-17-05, 04:16 PM
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#11
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Tight.
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IP: 1768 36E3
This was a good read, it was interesting as the topic hasnt' been approached that many times before.
It was a good concept development, and I liked how this progressed. The diary thing that you did was a good hit. |
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02-17-05, 07:31 PM
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#12
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My Dick Stay Wet
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IP: 28AD 5545
thanks yall thanks...UPPIN DIS YALL^^^^^
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02-17-05, 09:37 PM
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#13
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My Dick Stay Wet
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IP: 28AD 5545
yo please give some more feed back yo please...feedback will be returned just drop link
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02-18-05, 06:45 AM
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#14
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My Dick Stay Wet
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IP: 28AD 5545
ok uppin for some more feedback yall.....anything...feedback will be returned just drop a link
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02-18-05, 07:46 AM
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#15
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Banned
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IP: A1EC 8B20
Quote:
yea drop a link....... drop a link with-in 24 hours or this will be closed... http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=165166 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=170910 |
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