Life as a bird I could travel many places such as Rome/
Then I would make a trip back 2 the Laffeyete Dome/
When the going gets tough I would fly away to a peaceful place/
I could be at peace finally, every day I would be harmony dazed/
I wouldn't fly in a v-shaped flock I'd travel by my lone/
Wherever I laid my Bangsta nest would be my home/
Bangsta=Bird Gangsta
Some people prey, but I'd just pray I wouldn't get preyed,/
Someone might him me with two bb's and I might get sprayed/
I'd also hate to be a pet, bored, trapped, and worst Caged/
Life as a bird couldn't be worst than life as a human being/
The creatures cant carry guns so no Bird killer spreeing/
Seeing life in a different light where there seems to be no fight just flight/
I wont have to deal with the stress and strife and this pain sharp as a knife/

uppin for response

uppin

I think this is a cool subject to write about cause I'm sure everyone wonders what it'd be like to fly around and look at everything they know from a different view. This could have been wrote better though, in my humble opinion.

"Wherever I laid my Bangsta nest would be my home/
Bangsta=Bird Gangsta
Some people prey, but I'd just pray I wouldn't get preyed,/
Someone might him me with two bb's and I might get sprayed/
I'd also hate to be a pet, bored, trapped, and worst Caged/"

That part there is where I lost interest in it. The title of this poem and those parts didn't really fit together well.

I don't want to keep this whole response negative so what I did enjoy about it was that it sounded like it came from your heart. It's always good to read something like that so keep on posting them up here.

aight thnx for the response

more response please

So you're saying I should change the title to?

uppin 4 response

No, you don't need to change the title. lol, I'm responding to this piece at 2 different sites so I hope it don't get confusing for you. Just put in more imagery. I think that would help it out a lot. It's a good concept to write about, if you write it again or add more to it, PM me so I'll know to look for it.

aight

yeh i like this poem-theres a similar poem by someone i think called Ted Hughes Called "Swallow In The Summer" or sumthin...we didi it recently for an Exam...i liked the comparison of what a bird thinks it be like as a human...it was peaceful n suddenly it kinda got 2 gangstar like dat bangstar thing...not just recycling what legendty sed but i did get strayed from the peaceful approach-im a still a learner but i enjoyed it

1

thnx for the response

Life as a bird couldn't be worst than life as a human being/
The creatures cant carry guns so no Bird killer spreeing/
Seeing life in a different light where there seems to be no fight just flight/

I thought that was tight and creative how you drew the comparison between the bird and the human. Interesting topic and pretty well executed. He's right tho, the title didnt really fit with the content but still, it didnt take away from the poem itself. I thought it was tight, Stay up n keep postin.

Legendary, you give good, genuine replies. How come you cant never reply to me? heh.

pz.

Thnx for the response