Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
05-28-03, 11:58 AM | #1 | ||||||
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True Love <first time post>
IP: 5BCB 1BEF
for the one and only...
<v1> see before i met u i was starting to stress, the life i was living a fucking mess, shit getting me down and starting to depress,bowing before god praying to be the next 1 he bless/1 noone gave me the slightest respect, had nobody by myside or there for me to protect, me from this malice which was so direct, i was the victim of hate and neglect/2 those times where hard and dire, constant fighting got me to tire, felt like a blind on a high wire, cops trying to hold me back because of this prior, venom and rage burning inside like a fire/3 it seemed like i was in a constant confrontation, hesitant i made every move with reservation, another failure of society and this nation, just another lost one of our generation/4 every move i was making was critical, the consequenses of them more then being simply political, people telling me how to live all hypocritical, the way i handled the situation was pitiful/5 i wont even begin to pretend, that i was not nearing my own end, on my knees praying to god before coming another stat in the teen suicide trend, but then i met u baby ur a godsend/6 <chorus> i knew the feelings i had for u from the very start/ godwilling we will never have to part/ cuz baby gurl u r the only one in my heart/ <v2> baby having u by my side, knowing that u will always be there if i should choose to ride, our love is something i just cant hide, uve giving me reasons to finally take pride/1 granted there may still be a hard time, but as long as we got eachother it will be just fine, if it meant another moment wit u id never drop another line, just as long as u r mine/2 see u helped me make it helped me survive, where would i be without u in my live, and now to keep u happy i strive, and try and to make u excel and thrive/3 cuz this gurl means the world to me, became so plain for me to see, and u and i we may not always agree, but my love girl is something u will always have i guarentee/4 so never agian will i have to be alone, cuz baby girl ur my very own, for u my loving has always grown, i know tht ull always be there for me cuz in the past its shown/5 ill love u with no end never, baby u got the beauty and u too clever, sitting by ur side i wish tht this moment would last forever, cuz u r the one that i will always treasure/6 <chorus> <v3> see now that i have u im finally satisfied, with myself and thats because just seeing u leaves me gratified, its the truth havent ever lied, in me there are new feelings that u ratified/1 but i havent always been supported been left out to dry, to the point were i could've fallen and just lie, looking up to the sky, giving up just waiting to die/2 it became as if ice running through my veins, the only way i could deal with all my pain, and keep from going insane, i had nothing to lose and everything to gain/3 a beaten soldier fighting for his life, running out of bullets having to fend for himself with a knife, couldnt handle the strife, waitin to be beaten and go on to the afterlife/4 going to sleep in my bed,holding on to the hope "god y?" is wht i said, just before passing out all these thoughts running through my head, halfing wishing to make it half wishing to be dead/5 i continued on empty and without emotion, tryin to weather storm all alone on this ocean, everything in my life in a constant motion, until i found ur ture devotion/6 <chorus> <v4> now ill know that u have problems too, thats y baby gurl im always gonna be here for u, go ahead and test me im true, ill be here no matter wht u or i do/1 see we may trip falter and fall, but in the end our love will conquer all, thats y u cant give up cant be beaten stand tall, going up against the world like a brick wall/2 staring in ur beautiful eyes, ive found gods true blessing in no disguise, u an angel sent straight from the heavenly skies, u r the one that i prize/3 you are my princees my queen, loving me in away that is so very rarely seen, the loving that we share in between, causing a fairytale ending that is so serene/4 i cant even began to describe the way u make me feel, loving every part of u with ur sex appeal, seeing u makes my pain instantly heal, u even got ThE_uNrEaL_1 asking is this real?/5 together we make an unbeatble team, together its all good no matter how it may seem, who cares wht others think or may deem, cuz togehter we living a dream/6 baby girl when it comes to the rest i put u above them cuz ur my one and only true love... <chorus> haha noone is gonna read this shit too long i guess srry if u do i thank u and ill take the time to read some of your shit sometime even though i cant vote on battles yet = / peace love Last edited by ThE_uNrEaL_1 : 05-28-03 at 12:23 PM. |
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05-28-03, 12:15 PM | #2 | |||||||
Retired.
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IP: E433 C048
the long lines at the beginning had the flow a lil fucked up in my head.....
but after looking through it a few times I pivked it up... good piece... can see the feeling behind it keep writing |
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05-28-03, 12:26 PM | #3 | ||||||
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IP: 5BCB 1BEF
thanx for the response , ppl i promise ill read and judge ur stuff should u do the same here just leave a link
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05-28-03, 12:56 PM | #4 | |||||||
Got More Meds Than Pfizer
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IP: A175 060F
"see we may trip falter and fall, but in the end our love will conquer all, thats y u cant give up cant be beaten stand tall, going up against the world like a brick wall/"
yes.. that's all I gotta say, real nice lines throughout the piece, flow was pretty good, vocab was ace for a newbie.. stay up dunny.. holla...
__________________
Authentik Intelligence
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05-28-03, 02:10 PM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: 5BCB 1BEF
thanx for the input, ill try to improve the flow some before going audio, others feel free to judge honestly and then leave me a link i will respond and judge urs
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05-28-03, 03:08 PM | #6 | ||||||
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IP: 1769 3B0F
your wordplay is short of phenom i loved it and meaning exprseeion and intensity made it a great read do your thang
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05-28-03, 03:11 PM | #7 | ||||||
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IP: 5BCB 1BEF
thanx perfect if ya gotta something u want me to read or judge just post a link
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05-28-03, 03:55 PM | #8 | ||||||
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IP: 5BCB 1BEF
uppin for just a few more replies remember ill return the favor
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05-28-03, 04:07 PM | #9 | ||||||
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IP: 8765 2E39
Thanx 4 checkin out my post---returnin the fav---
can feel the --Energy in Motion----E-motion great work----keep on writing---- peace thanx again Love is all we need Money ofcourse helps..... |
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05-28-03, 04:34 PM | #10 | ||||||
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IP: B618 FFDE
i liked it i thought the emotion really showed....
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05-28-03, 05:32 PM | #11 | ||||||
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IP: 5BCB 1BEF
aight now Im reppin LaFamilia, hey uppin one last time now tht more ppl be here check it out and judge me leave a link and ill judge u
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05-28-03, 06:36 PM | #12 | ||||||
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IP: 5503 87F8
thia ahit was nice..you kept your head above water if you kno what a mean.some people drown in their lines and end up chockin cause they just cant rhyme summat anymore but you stayed up..real potential whe you can do that........although just incase thry not to rhyme with the same kinda of line all the time eg
see before i met u i was starting to stress, the life i was living a fucking mess, shit getting me down and starting to depress,bowing before god praying to be the next 1 he bless/1 noone gave me the slightest respect, had nobody by myside or there for me to protect, me from this malice which was so direct, i was the victim of hate and neglect/2 you pulled it off so well although you did make everything rhyme...i like it when someone can pull that off.......reall emotion aswel |
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05-28-03, 06:44 PM | #13 | ||||||
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IP: 5BCB 1BEF
thanx for the response
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05-28-03, 08:00 PM | #14 | ||||||
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IP: 5BCB 1BEF
hot shit real, that was some a dope song you droped, i could feel the passion in it. keep the songs coming i can't wait for your next one dude. holla
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05-28-03, 09:48 PM | #15 | ||||||
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IP: 5BCB 1BEF
uppin for just a few more responses
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