fucked up the first thread
10 lines....both verses
due half hour from check in..
G' Luck..I suck look at my record!@!

yaya checking in.............

had 4 no shows today, hope u show up wit a verse

1

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C_Drama, about to have a worst ending than a soap opera-
have faith in me since from what I see hope itself is droppin ya-
Im locking ya, throwing away the key and puttin u back in ya closet-
do u need directions kid, cause your Man Hood i beleive u lost it-
divorce me bitch cause im really tired of all this drama-
ill leave ya ass more lost in dunes than getting fired by Osama-
like his name right after i write the C he flatlines-
Phat lines?.....only if u make your text bolder and write with my lines-^ ^
your face bites the dust chews on it and spits out mud pies-
luck tries but it gave up on you..to win last resort....C fuck guys-

You fuckin wit a vet ~ I got you set ~right in a net ~ of intellect-ual metapho's//
~ Couldnt see "shit" coming if yo ass was on a "toilet bowl"//
...no respect~ to lil gents ~who seem to set ~ a daily trend ~ being intimate ~ wit cyber pets~on da internet//
This is verbal murder when I go merk a goat herder//
When you "elevate" you'd reach ma "nutsacks" and no further//
You name it, any language, I merk ya on any planet//
Dis kid's LOOKING UP TO ME, like JD to JANET//
And you really D-ranged.....cuz I've been packing da gauge long before spells were written on page//(think about it)
Fuck an age.....come get ripped by da lyrical butcher//
Young or old, it don't matter ~ call me Ashton Kutcher//

Attached Images

sig.gif (49.4 KB, 39 views)

uppin fo votes



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C Drama Took This One Easily.Much Stronger Punches,Nice Wordplay.He Had Some Nice Metaphors & His Multies Were On Point Also.D-Ranged Was Too Weak.A Few Good Punches But Some Played Concepts

Vote- C_Drama

thnx fo da props

and uppin fo mo votes too...................


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Attached Images

sig.gif (49.4 KB, 33 views)

Attached Images

sig.gif (49.4 KB, 30 views)

yo c took dis wit better punchs had wordplay and multi's it flow'd well d ya needs some serious elevation son cause not one of ya punchs well attempted punchs landed ya fell short nigga vote c holla

thnx fo voting on this man

appreciate it a lot!!

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uppin for more feedback on dis joint


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C-Drama took this ez, his punches hit harder plus he had some nice multis

vote = C_Drama

asdasasdsadasfoiaogjagojagaoga

Cdrama takes dis one , better overall verse , punches , and multis ... Some good personals too ... You could work on your Structure though , the uneven lines make you have to read the verses very close ..........ohter den dat , shit was dope

Props to both

CE

thnx man, uppin for da final votes.....................
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