Something for peeps to think about....

It seems as if this little thing we do is juss on a contractual-basis...
to leave feelings in nothing more than a title and a factual-stasis...
the actual-fact-is that combining our worlds is causin-dramatics...
and pausin-the-tactics of how love should applaud-the-antics...
but what else is there to see materialism always blinds-the-eye...
wit the kinds-of-lies that make thanx nothing to find-in-skies...
im clouded in my head and rains-will-follow through pain-and-sorrow...
to make yesterday and today seem worse than what remains-tomorrow...
no matter what happens i cant seem to escape-this-fate that takes-its-weight...
and drapes-its-sakes on my back i cant bayer it so it scrapes-my-shape...
people seem-to-think that its hate that causes loves beam-to-sink...
and with all gleams-and-minks its misguided love that streams-and-links...
all of us to that one portion or that one notion that it goes in strides...
along the thin line or crevice that we all hope that real love resides...
its the worse-truths that hurts-u where u hear these words-through...
the i love you turns-to i didnt mean to then u feel burned-through...
next is the close-of-emotions because noone knows-of-devotion...
and u blame urself for the pain because u chose-this-demotion...
this level of feelings you had and the truth u put it lead-to-deceit...
and if you could shop for love you wish in ur heart that u kept-the-receipt...
whats left-to-deplete drained from pain u search again but u dread-a-repeat...
but u realize that ur feelings were true and it was right but u fled-from-da-street...
and now u have to live wit it u wish u spoke but instead-ya-incomplete....


Penskills....the soul of real love.....the soul of real emotion...within a perfect persona....

replied to-repin
Echo
Payce

yo, this shit was a solid drop, for the most part it flowed real well, some places i though ya had some forced multis like

people seem-to-think that its hate that causes loves beam-to-sink...
and with all gleams-and-minks its misguided love that streams-and-links...
the beam to sink part....didnt quite catch that, coulda left it out, cause the gleams and minks line was tight but i was distracted from it by the for mentioned forced line...

but that whole opener down to scrapes-my-shape was tight,flowin right from a solid rhyme scheme into some wordplay shit with the clouded head rainin and shit that nice too.

new to this board so keep ya eyes up and hit my threads

Great multi usage...U make me not even want to drop my lyrics now....Good job....

8.0/ 10...........

Nice vocab also......

__________________
B.E.S.T

The Comeback


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Mystic (Traitor)

..^thanks...more replies...

yo this was a hot drop nah mean....nice flow and multis...good structure...and good topic and imagery...stay up

Was okay. Didn't think it has a good flow. Structure was off and sentences were too long. Couldn't understand everything you had to say. Got bored.

..^..LOL...whatever..thanks for the reply..keep on coming...

..Uppin..

..Still Uppin..

it was interesting, sound like u got a lot on ya mind, good flow, good vocab, keep spittin

..Still uppin..Where's the love people????...^^

Reply

This was dope, I hate U now cuz i have to add a name to tha list of "not wack" and that i'd actual pay attention 2. good shit