Its all setup , I'll have my lines in twenty, probably less.

Wit' Gravity for a name you'd think dis' cat was "down", but check this...
This clown spits so much hot air he has to wear anvil for a necklace!
I'm a sexist textist, so I don't like to flow against bitches...
I'm convinced that i've seen better structure on styrofoam bridges!
Are you religious? Well if not you will be after you read this...
The shit you jot is so played, that you coudn't be saved by Jesus!
Please just, leave this forum because you can't afford to stay...
Why don't you save your self the trouble and throw your key board away!
Say, you should practice some breath control,youve' got loose lips...
Couldnt keep apathy out ya' mouth if da script came eqipped wit toothpicks!
You should stick to your job of dickriding or take a permanent vacation...
Yes its affirmative, you and your moms share the same occupation!

yo dude sory this took so long but yo check this out

ya seeking for 'attention' looking for a 'metion' i should av let ya have abit more 'preparation' or even give ya abit of the doctors 'medication' ya see im doin all this for a good 'cause' to get a crews 'reputation' n now i'll 'pause'.......... n rap again wiyhout 'hesitation' me n my crew are as complex as a 'hurricane' causing destruction 'strain' n 'pain' for anything that comes in our way ya see ur ma enemy n i fuck up any 'enemy' thats stands right in front of 'me' ur lyrics are too 'vague' im so convinced im sure ya have got 'lyrical plague' u say ur a 'sexist' 'texist' bt ur nufin but a mother fuckin 'rapist' yo u should a stepped up ur pace 'abit' coz ur just simply too 'shit' this isnt a game or a race u should a realised that by 'now' its jus like overgrazing ya letting animals walk all over ya like ur mum shes a 'cow' anyhow i'll take a bow' n leave ya in peace right 'now'

No problem, but maybe I should have mentioned that feeding is for herbs
( u say ur a 'sexist' 'texist' ) Just some advice for the next time you get merkd...

Uppin... Lets please get some votes in. Don't sleep on this. Even if you cant vote because you don't have enough posts, i would appreciate feedback/criticism. Thanks & Peace.

If i could vote i would put it on Apathy, he had good lyrics
well they was good for a pillock

Just a quick question for Jamie, what the fuck is pillock?
Don't get mad because I merkd you!

Punches: Apathy, all decent punches
Wordplay: Noth much from either, I don't think I saw any
Multis: Tie, both used an even amount of multis
Personals: Apathy, good personals, the down line, Gravity had none
Opener: Apathy
Closer: Apathy

Vote - Apathy

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I rhyme better than who rhymes better than you

Sorry, 2nd part of the vote

'lyrical plague' u say ur a 'sexist' 'texist' bt ur nufin but a mother fuckin 'rapist' yo u should a stepped up ur pace 'abit' coz ur just simply too 'shit'
Gravity's best bar

Wit' Gravity for a name you'd think dis' cat was "down", but check this...
This clown spits so much hot air he has to wear anvil for a necklace!
Best bar from Apathy, pretty hot.

Apathy (Dope ass name)

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I rhyme better than who rhymes better than you

uppin' #2 Lets get those votes in, shit. Don't sleep on this. Even if you can't officially vote because you dont have enough posts, i would still appriciate some criticism/feedback. Thanks

Uppin' #3 Lets get those votes in. Even if you dont have enough posts, leave some feedback,

uppin' for the last time, you mutherfuckers need to vote. I will glady return the feedback by voting on your shit. Peace

Just giving honest opinion:

Apathy's open:

It wasn't a personal, but it was a decent open,well structured,
basic multies,flowed nice


Gravity's open:

I think that's where it ended??
First structure, I can't really give a full opinion if I can't make (your) meaning of it
It was good wording decent vocab , just needs to be DEFINED START STOP
xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxx
No personal or punches
Elevate:

Apathy's Line 3, 4, 5, 6


Good structure, (they could be extended, but they are still defined!)
good wordplay and flow, (so many syllables made it sound better)
No punches or personal

(If Gravity he better get it in these next lines)

Damn dog I couldn't even read or put together a
HARMONIZED DEFINED LINE
STRUCTURE refer to the XXXX'S
xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
So even if I were to strain myself to make meaning of the rest of your verse,
that shit wouldn't slid in a 'real' battle and it prob won't slide here



I got to give it to Apathy

Just elevate Gravity

read some tutorials
Keep trying and bring it up
and that goes for you too Apathy
You got my vote, but if it were up against better punches etc
I dunno

Keep it moving!

JamesJr.

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Love for all real lyricists and poets
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Open Mics
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112397
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111729

2nd Battle NEEDS 4
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111647
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=110858

apathy nice verse good use of vocab and clever wordplay
gravity tried to use a bit of vocab but it didnt flow well it was just a bit basic

peep this and leave links
vs Timeless
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...d.php?p=1166316

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. - Token

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