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02-17-04, 11:39 AM | #16 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 32DE 209E
Ty Pen...will hit up your piece..later on tonight.
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02-17-04, 11:48 AM | #17 | ||||||
New to RB
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IP: B137 D27C
that was deep there...excellent piece...
A figure distantly appeared, Face nearly visible but the cloud interfered... Mist covered the darkened road, the moonlight lit, then disappeared... ^ luv the wordplay there... As he came within recognisable distance, His walk retained its consistence... Was he real, Why was his appearance so surreal, did he have believable existence...? ^ once agen worplay was heavy...n deep aswell... I’ve lead a life conscience of sin, So many events, Where do I begin...? I’m already dead, you must be courageous & release my spirits within... So many tears I shed, and in your life I can foresee so many fears ahead... ^ touching lines man... An astounded presence overcame me, I looked straight into his eyes, He looked at me... I didn’t realise that, by living a life free of sin, heaven for me he could guarantee... ^ whoa especially by living a life free of sin, heaven for me he could guarantee... sik!.. last verse was deep aswelll... nice drop man... |
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02-17-04, 11:57 AM | #18 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 32DE 209E
^ty...good to see someone else is breaking shit down..^
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02-17-04, 03:22 PM | #19 | ||||
Word.
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IP: 9058 C066
This was a nice piece here.....I liked it, it was a really nice read.....the emotion in this was real nice....the imagery in this was nice, I liked how you captured the things in this....structure was nice in this.....vocab was real nice as well.....flow was on point through out the whole thing, flowed pretty smoothly....The way you ended it was nice i thought.....overall a nice piece, enjoyed it.
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