this was a hot piece
i enjoyed readin it
good flow and structure
keep it up

That was a suprisingly cool piece. And I mean that as in, at first it didn't seem like it was going to be much...the lack of multies AT THE TIME...seemed like a nice effort to not distract from your piece...but i see you were just up to your tricks...as it went on, the multies started flowing in real smooth like...which is interesting in itself, because it added to the imagery of the piece as a whole. It just added to an already smooth vibe. It was a pretty cool piece though. Just a good, solid, honest, piece. By honest I mean, you don't have to resort to trickery to get people hooked into reading it like me.


I wasn't overly impressed with any of the technical aspects really, word choice was rather simple....i would have liked to a cleaner rhyme scheme...in the first verse you would rhyme the last few words in one bar...and than the next, maybe only a few syllables....


I would go into metaphors, and things like that...but the truth is...this was a very simple piece..and my guess is, that is intentional....sometimes the best way to say what you feel, is to just say it....metaphors are not always the most effective way to explain intangibles


all in all..like i said...i liked the peace...however...it's better than most of the other cats that post in the om now days...but...let's be honest...is this your finest display of writing?

haha...im just givin you shit man...good drop.

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Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.

"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox

The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew

Yo I Liked This Hott Piece, Flow Was Good, Nice Multies In The End, OverAll Good Drop

Yo Please Feed My Battle:

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=243388

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Envied Thoughtz

Phenom~~SkepTik~~42-Keyz

TrYoUt ThReAd^^^^^

had a great flow, which made it that much more enjoyable to read.. had a upbeat, positive swing to it, get a catchy chorus, it'd be a chill-out song... fun read, drop more stuff omb

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