Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
03-18-05, 10:15 AM | #16 | ||||
I walk & walk over you
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IP: 645B D439
W/e Dab it's str8......anyway uppin for votes..........
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03-18-05, 03:28 PM | #17 | |||
Tight.
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IP: 1768 36E3
word upping 1-1 Mista. All I can say is, dope drop homie.
No beef. And VOTE FOR ME! LoL |
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03-19-05, 01:50 AM | #18 | ||||
C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: 60BA E937
only 2 more votes needed... then the next roud will be set up with in the same or next day after all battles are closed
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03-19-05, 06:55 AM | #19 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: F396 2771
Lemme break this down...
Given Light: I kinda felt you picked up bit slow and weren't really consistent with your piece but I did enjoy reading it though. You managed to portray the image of an outcast with the way you worded everything, had very good imagery in there but emotion could be bit stronger. You had more complex vocab which was a nice add-on but I felt it kinda took the focus of the content of your piece in fact. You had some deeper levels in your piece which I liked to read but I dunno, kinda have a mixed feeling with this one. The concept was good though, had sort of mysterious vibe over it and I loved that but you lached consistency. Flow could've been better as well. Those of the children who speak in tongues, but the same language don’t you get it you fools, were all different but we hold the same baggage God’s light is spreading through the different to show our proud pasts That’s why I am proud to stand out, and be Jesus’ Outcast. ^loving your ending... MiSta_AuTh3nTiQ: I liked your approach of the topic, with the whole gay-thing: maybe not too original but I don't think many guys would write about this hehe...I'm feeling your "in your face" kind of attitude and the emotion was very strong and raw, probably the best aspect of your piece. Some lines were a bit stretched but it didn't affect the content of the actual verse. You had some good imagery here and there, I like how the mom had such an influence on the guy and how you worded that. I feel like a ninja turtle with out NORMAL friends, just stuck with my own kind I used to hang with dudes, until i broke the darkest new's. They insulted me After that my heart was tooked by the insult, everyday, every inch i'm losing my pride Bloody lips, wet eyes, dried up tears is left on my cheek, look what they did to thee. ^favorite lines ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the end my vote goes to MiSta_AuTh3nTiQ because I just felt he was more consistent than Given Light, no hate though cause I was liking both your verses! DQ
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03-19-05, 09:29 AM | #20 | ||||
I walk & walk over you
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IP: A031 70F5
Someone fucking vote..............Shit......................
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03-19-05, 10:20 AM | #21 | |||
Tight.
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IP: 1768 36E3
word, upping this, and vote for me! LoL
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03-19-05, 11:14 AM | #22 | |||||
The Epitome Of Greatness
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IP: 28AD 5545
Ok
given light: Dope verse, your imagery was decent put could have been better, You also had a couple good metaphors, but the one that stood out most was the wings line it was just written so good. You were consistent through out the whole piece. Emotion was pretty good, and you definately had the structure down, with a good flow to it. overall: 8.5/10 M.A: im sorry to say i was not feeling your verse. You had good imagery, but everything else was stupid. I mean the plot was the wrong idea, it didnt work right. And you stretch your lines to shit, you even make the font smaller so it doesnt look like you stretched the lines, but you did. And another thing your rhyme scheme didnt work for you. It worked for given because his lines were short, but you should never use that rhyme scheme with stretched lines. And you have had that style forever you should really change it because it is not going to win you this tourney. The emotion was not dope, i dont understand why people would say that, because it wasnt indepth, only in a couple spots. Your structure was bad, your imagery was good, vocab was decent, shorten your lines please. And also for the millionth time its IMAGERY not IMAGINARY imagery is a picture you can create with words imaginary exsists only in imagination, not a factual reality or a description of words overall: 6/10 vote: Given Light
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03-19-05, 11:17 AM | #23 | ||||
I walk & walk over you
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IP: 2F02 22FE
^^ Fucking herb...........................LOL J/P ANYWAY UPPIN
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03-19-05, 11:42 AM | #24 | ||||
.::Outside The Circle::.
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IP: E1D7 D0FC
wow this was a pretty lame battle.. neither came real hot... ughh Mista u definitely coulda came alot harder.. and ur still not listening to me about rhyme scheme.. its really lacking.. u got iight vocab, iiight imagery. but emotion was pretty bad..
Given Light your verse i thought had a little more edge to it... u came a bit harder on the vocab, your emotion also needed some work.. you had iight imagery... but overall i think you emotion and imagery were a bit better... given you the win V/Given Light...
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03-19-05, 11:47 AM | #25 | ||||
I walk & walk over you
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IP: 2F02 22FE
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ok Ok Ok Ok.
Given You Might Won The Battle! But You Havent Won The War!
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03-19-05, 01:57 PM | #26 | ||||
C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: 6DE3 D322
light wins
3-2 closed -I. Mind
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