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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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02-16-04, 03:49 PM
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#1
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Da KiNg Of PwNaGe
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IP:
ya very long...but very good too. Reminded me of 'The Raven' by Edgar Allan Poe for sum reason....at least the beginning...your use oj adjectives were good....Excellant imagry....Flow wasn't there all the time...but in a peice like this it didn't really matter....Your vocab is also very good...this would be a dope short store...
 Good up...Keep doin it like ya doin |
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02-16-04, 05:18 PM
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#2
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_-Lucky Rabbits Foot-_
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IP:
pen another dope drop...
like LM said u sed short story... Not full length movie... and I say mvoie because of the imagery it wus like you are watching it not reading it... this wus ill man imagery, flow wus a bit off to me maybe it flowed to you... the topic eh... the way u used the topic wus dope tho... I can't compete with this I don't think lol... any way check my newest Tragic Death(II)... _-SyaNidal-_...
__________________
_-Current Battles-_
SyaNidal \v/ Diverse _-Open Mics-_
....Tragic..Death..I.... ....Tragic..Death..II....  _-::.CorruptedVisionz.::-_
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02-16-04, 06:11 PM
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#3
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Guest
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IP:
ok my first impresion is damn i cant read all this. But its suprisingly easy since it always keeps you in the story. Hmm prop one of the best things iv read ina while Props man.....you always come good
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02-16-04, 06:45 PM
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#4
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Banned: Spamming
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IP:
Quote:
^Thanks for taking your time to read this story..^^ |
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02-16-04, 06:59 PM
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#5
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Suspended Suspense
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IP:
LOL, you and your "short" story's. anyway. very well done my man, I don't know how you can have the gumption to sit down and right a 500 bar essay like this, but whatever it is that drives you to do so, would be most welcome in my repetoirre. but anyways. nice piece, good vocab, decent flow. I have always loved your imagery and this piece is no exception. very good job, keep em coming, and use a smaller font lol, makes the structure look better. 8/10
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02-17-04, 10:30 PM
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#6
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Banned: Spamming
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IP:
Bump..Bump..Bump...
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02-18-04, 12:08 AM
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#7
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Word.
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IP:
This was okay
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02-18-04, 12:15 AM
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#8
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Guest
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IP:
This wuz a good piece. It wuz long as hell, but it kept me reading. Good flow and imagery. dope story line.
8/10 drop feedback on my piece: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=115121 |
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02-18-04, 12:24 AM
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#9
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PuRe AzN..
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IP:
damn.. lots of replies.. i wish i got replies this quick...
Yep .. another dope piece bye the rabbit guy.. this was like detaield alot i could almost see it.. well i did in my head but hey im not gunna go into penskilled details wait.. i could write a song about this!!!! lol well this shit was good.. even if it was looooong as hell.. your shit kept me into it.. good piece.. correction another good piece you got skills... hit this up http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=115099
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