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View Poll Results: Who Wrote This Topical Better?
Re$TricTed 5 55.56%
L.I. 4 44.44%
Voters: 9. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 05-21-04, 03:54 PM   #1
LaTiNKiTTeN
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i aint gonna vote on this.....since "somebody" specified that i cannot vote.......but,LI...how the hell is ur story about preservation? n another thing........why do u only do topicals..is it cuz u cant battle? cuz ur shit's more like a story or poetry man......i dunno what u're doin in the battle section........
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Old 05-21-04, 08:02 PM   #2
Triple_N
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This was a pretty good topical

Restricted.....I liked your consistency throughout the verse, you stayed on topic throughout the whole verse, had good wordplay, painted a clear picture of the story, used your multies very well throughout none of them were forced a big plus, it was a solid all round drop

L.I......you had a good drop also, but you lost with your opening bars, you first couple of lines completely killed your verse, once you got going you verse was hot, an if you didn't messed up the opening you coulda won, cuz you told a superb story, an had great multies use, but I can't give it to you for the simple fact that your opening bars killed the consistency of your verse
Vote: Restricted
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Old 05-22-04, 07:44 AM   #3
.::N-Sight::.
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I Perserve My Mind For Those Who Are To Become..
I Write To Inspire The Youth, The Future To Come..
I Acknowledge The Truth and Twist It To My Benifit..
To Insure My Spot In History, So That I Get Credited..

^^ very focused and direct...nicely written


Instant Gratification, Heart Full Of Emotion and Pride..
Instant Pacification, No More Stealing, Death, Or Lies..
Instant Creation, I've Sparked and Ignited The Genius Mind..
The Student Of Hip-Hop, Who Understands The Potential..


^^ nice use of repetition...a personal fav. of mine in writing

I Now See The Destined Path For Us To Follow and Run..
I Have Finished My Life Journey and My Job Is Now Done..
I Have Perserved My Mind For My Son Who Has Become..
The Lyrical Prism Holder For Those Who Are To Come..

^^ nice closing..almost an epic type feel

Rhyming 7/10
FLow 7/10
Lyrics 9/10


Comin home from work, I see my daughter’s face, its perfect…
It’s what I live for in the world, after my wife’s car wrecked…
She still doesn’t know, to her, mom is away on a business trip…
What I forgot to tell her was that she only has a one way ticket…


^^ another story telling type vibe...nice


She sighs and walks away, I cant keep on doing this to her…
But it will hurt her so much, ideas in my mind started to concur…
What if I faked a divorce, maybe terrorists, nah this will never work…
But is it worth a shot, if I fail she’ll no the truth and then she’ll hurt…

^ good emotion


She was sitting next to me crying, was it something I said?...
Later I found out that the doctors had brought up records and broke the news…
Said she forgives me, but I know, deep down on her heart, I left a permanent bruise…


^^^ deep dawg


Rhyme 7/10
FLow 7/10
Lyrics 8/10

Vote: Rest. I place a premium on imagery and Rest. comes with it best here


1
 
Old 05-22-04, 10:12 PM   #4
Key...
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Umm...........Nice battle.

This was a pretty good topical

Restricted:

U stayed on point, it was consistend , great imagery neva expected that u would do good in topicals..lol, wordplay was good, multies was aight, I have to say u surprised me i kno u longest on rb u kno that and u neva did a topical..lol

L.I:

\I taught u would murder R in topical but it didnt happen, Since u got nominate the best topical..lol, I am not a big fan of topicals in text but your opening could been done betta, i peeped more topicals from ya. multies were used well, u could have been more focused, cuz it lost the consistency in yo verse. Overall aight drop could been betta


V/: R

nice drop both. L.I. disappointed..homey.
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Old 05-22-04, 10:18 PM   #5
L.I.
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fasho bout the opening....i was startin off to tell a dif story and i ended up doin that....and never switched round my openeing....but yeah it def is wack....but the rest is good....uppin.....props to my boy R....hes the one who inspired me to start doin topicals.....fasho up....
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Old 05-22-04, 11:53 PM   #6
E Looch
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not a fan of topicals either but this was nice

restricted good flow stayed on topic the whole verse the rhyme scheme was different didnt really feal that 3 line reps it got the point across though good vocab an creativitie nicely writen everything was prety good but not much of a story line in it overall it was pretty good though should try havin a better story line though

l.i good flow of course u stayed on topic pretty hot shit vocab was nice shit the stroy line was pretty ill to me thought it was pretty creative shit an thats what i think it should be is a story line on a topical and the opener to me i think is what set up the story dont know what everyone else is sayin but overall hot verse

vote l.i

everything was pretty evenly matched i liked l.is story line better then i did restricteds 3 line sets so thats what basically got my vote
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Old 05-23-04, 12:05 AM   #7
Restricted
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3 Line Sets Was My Structure...Not My Story Line Dick Licking LMAO....

You Must Not OF Read Well..My Story Was Me Passing MY Knowledge TO My Son....Why I Passed It To Him..What Has Happened...and What Has Become Of All This...

Learn To Read

Anyways..Uppin..

~R~
 
Old 05-23-04, 12:10 AM   #8
E Looch
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no kiddin dickhead u learn to read i said i liked his story line better then urs an i said i didnt like ur 3 line sets i never said that shit was your story line i said u should try an get a better story line

learn to get off my dick an im threw postin in here
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Old 05-23-04, 10:08 AM   #9
King Solo
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both put out some hot shit

Re$TricTed
U stayed consistent throughout ure spit and u delivered some perfect imagery throughout. ure flow was on from start to finish and that thing u did startin each 3 lines the same was nice and creative. u had some very nice wordplay in ure spit with some nice rhymin and overall i cudn't really find anything that was seriously wrong with ure verse.
Overall 9/10

L.I.
u went with the story tellin which i liked and u had ure flow goin throughout ure verse. from beginning to end i was feelin ure verse and u had some nice wordplay in there to. i think every line was gud although ure openin was pretty weak compared to the rest of ure verse but it didn't kill it. Overall i say that u were the better because in topicals i prefer the storytellin to imagery and u manage to pull it off superbyl time and time again.
Overall 9.5/10

V/ - L.I.
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Old 05-23-04, 12:50 PM   #10
L.I.
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Old 05-23-04, 09:36 PM   #11
Enhance
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Aight i was first thinking restricted had mad vocab but some of the line`s like they way you kept sayign those and those was enoying it looked like you lost creativty or was lazy i liked you`re vocab and the way you described preservation but i prefaired LI`s story because he had no name for it but as you read you understood what it was about i`m just feeling stories more good stuff both of you well done

Vote = L.I.
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Old 05-23-04, 09:57 PM   #12
choppa--city
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okkk nice drops by both MC's they both stayed on target and on topic

re$tricted-nice drop on point verse on point flow and on and on point vocab verse stayed consistant in and out verse was on topic and a nice drop

start-~ I Perserve My Mind For Those Who Are To Become..
I Write To Inspire The Youth, The Future To Come..

nice start 9.5/10

middle-~ Instant Gratification, Heart Full Of Emotion and Pride..
Instant Pacification, No More Stealing, Death, Or Lies..

descentcy 9.2/10

close-~ I Have Perserved My Mind For My Son Who Has Become..
The Lyrical Prism Holder For Those Who Are To Come..

went out wit a purpose LOL 9.1/10

bestline-~Without Point-Of-Views Their Would Be No Convention..
Without Poise Our Mental Balance Would Crumble No Pervention..

nice drop 9.8/10

worsteline-none

overall yo verse stayed consistant vocab uppined yo score total and..........
9.7/10

LI-a diffrent style then Rated but your style was as consistant u stayed consitant wit yo drops and did good on your flow and nice drop also

start-~~ Comin home from work, I see my daughter’s face, its perfect…
It’s what I live for in the world, after my wife’s car wrecked…

descent 9.5/10

middle-~~ But is it worth a shot, if I fail she’ll no the truth and then she’ll hurt…
All ideas would go wrong, she trusts me, I have to tell her the blatant truth…

tite like spandex 9.6/10

close_~~ Later I found out that the doctors had brought up records and broke the news…
Said she forgives me, but I know, deep down on her heart, I left a permanent bruise…

on fiyyaaa 9.2/10

bestline-~~closer was yo best line^^^

9.2/10

worsteline-I’m the parent, I lied to my kid, she’ll never forgive me…
But what she doesn’t know cant hurt her, I’m on a lying spree…

kinda weak but 9/10

overall verse gets a 9/10

dis battle was close hard 2 choose hard 2 go by who had dis and who had dat but both of yall deserve a win nice drops both of u winner-R~~ barley tho



Posted in M.T. crew forum on 5/22... vote made on 5/23. Crew vote removed.
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Old 05-24-04, 03:39 PM   #13
SPuL™
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ok, this was a tight ass battle.

Restricted, yo man, that was some nice shit. I think you had some nice lines and shit. Your flow was very good throughout the whole piece. Very consistent. I liked your verse a lot. You did a great verse. Very well done.

L.I., yo, man. This was some tight shit too. I liked some of your stuff near the end. Good job there. But your openin lines weren't the greatest. But you had a very good flow throughout the entire thing. Nice hot verse by you.

Ok, this was a tight ass battle, but my vote goes to...

Restricted. Sorry, L.I., but I think he edged you out by a tiny margin. You both came wicked hard, though. no hate. But you guys fashos should rematch this shit as a battle dissin' eachother, not topical.


Posted in M.T. crew forum on 5/23... vote made on 5/24. Crew vote removed.
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Old 05-25-04, 06:01 PM   #14
Restricted
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Ayio Strobe..L.I. and Myself Both Agreed That Crew Votes Were Allowed In This Battle....

That's The Only Reason Crew Votes Are In This....So All The Votes Should Remian..So Close This..

~R~
 
Old 05-25-04, 06:07 PM   #15
Lil-trip
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aight...

IP:

Props to both you both brought yo game up in the topic i thought...

L.I. deffinatly had some lines i was feelin especially around:
What if I faked a divorce, maybe terrorists, nah this will never work…
But is it worth a shot, if I fail she’ll no the truth and then she’ll hurt…
All ideas would go wrong, she trusts me, I have to tell her the blatant truth…
Early exposure and she will move on, that’s how minds work in a youth…

However, over all i jus thought Re$TricTed kept it real in regards to verses:

I Acknowledge The Truth and Twist It To My Benifit..
To Insure My Spot In History, So That I Get Credited..
To Bring Back Rap Illusions and Visions That Illistrate..
Two Concepts Of Literature That Have Elevated So Great..

And then more, he jus had a greater depth, vote: restricted


Return the favor, vote honestly here...:
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=126416
 
 


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