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Old 07-09-02, 10:26 PM   #1
Kastaway
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Quote:
Originally posted by RhetoriX
The rhyme scheme for both of ya verses worked well, the internals and multies showed through and this gave you a flawless style and smooth rhythm... The wordplay was aight, some of the lines were hella overplayed though, you gotta come original and knowledgable when dropping wordplay, more metaphors woulda made this piece deeper... Vocab was aight, some places it was used well to its potential, it was working throughout and ya showed a good knowledge... The concept was iLL, thats what I was feeling the mos, something original


I concur...

"Dain’t realise id become shallow like a toddler’s swimming pool/"

I liked that line... just gave me a mental picture I guess...

"but then i think fuck it im 2 far gone & ive lost all those around me/
but still if i surive this life who are we/"

I also liked this bar it had a lot of emotion.... \

I think the two of you did a nice piece together, should try and do more, you seem to compliment each other nicely...
Keep spitin and elevatin...

...Peace...
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Old 07-09-02, 11:01 PM   #2
.TyveK.
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one word, solid. good drop dawg, keep comin real.

// .01
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Old 07-10-02, 02:59 AM   #3
DA VENOM SPITTA
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Y'ALL HELD IT DOWN, BOTH OF Y'ALL....BIG UPS TO THE WOOSH FOR PEEPIN MY DROP, HOLLA
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Old 07-10-02, 09:35 AM   #4
the illestchic
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this was a tight post
first time in open mic
raw emotionz
good flow and nice vocab
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Old 07-10-02, 11:32 AM   #5
WOOSHY
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thnx 4 the replys ye me n mrb know each other so we know each other quite well holla!
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Old 07-10-02, 03:20 PM   #6
WOOSHY
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cmon uppin
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Old 07-11-02, 02:24 AM   #7
WOOSHY
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cmon dont sleep yall
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Old 07-12-02, 03:12 AM   #8
WOOSHY
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FFS DONT SLEEP ON THIS
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Old 07-14-02, 08:50 AM   #9
WOOSHY
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uppin
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Old 07-14-02, 04:23 PM   #10
The MRB
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up
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Old 07-15-02, 12:59 PM   #11
WOOSHY
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cmon uppin
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