RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 05-21-05, 10:14 PM   #16
Kawn Flixx
FUCK STROBE
 
Kawn Flixx's Avatar
 
Posts: 11,115
Joined: Aug 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 70-13
IP: 0AE0 3B1A

Eh.....this was pretty weak , could have been alot better..
Your structure was off.. could have been better... try to line
up youir bars, and next lime use alittle punhclines....Wordplay was decent
The main thing you should focus on it your structure ..
try to make wel worded verses... nice punchlines
couple of meta's and bam good verse
__________________
The Competition


Send a message via AIM to Kawn Flixx Send a message via MSN to Kawn Flixx   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-05, 01:32 AM   #17
kelsick39
Light Weight
 
Posts: 236
Joined: Nov 2004
From: Illstate
Status: Offline
Text Record: 4-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 3B27 2020

^^^^^^ agreed....... very very agreed...... ill copy and past so u get the idea

Eh.....this was pretty weak , could have been alot better..
Your structure was off.. could have been better... try to line
up youir bars, and next lime use alittle punhclines....Wordplay was decent
The main thing you should focus on it your structure ..
try to make wel worded verses... nice punchlines
couple of meta's and bam good verse
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-05, 07:58 AM   #18
mizz fyre
**the council**
 
mizz fyre's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,196
Joined: Dec 2004
Status: Offline
IP: 7960 1771

first thing i'll say is work on your structure coz your flow was all over the place......try to make each line near enough the same length......work on your content....try coming with somethin a lil bit more original y'know.......your vocab could be upped....work on your rhyme scheme.....anyway an aight drop.....4/10
__________________

  Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-05, 09:38 AM   #19
MADDRAPPER
Middle Weight
 
Posts: 1,550
Joined: Jun 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: CF74 5D3A

this was nice street lang which i've heard a million and a half time should've thrown some vocab up in here for real girl, but over all you mades it decent doe so i respect that for real
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:40 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.