the type of girl I need to succeed your the girl I Envy.
First off, you don't envy somebody you love. I can also tell you used a thesaurus for this word because it's capitalized from copy and paste and you don't know what it means.
internally I bleed calling out your name in silent screams.
This is just emo and you can't call somebody's name out in silent screams, try using the word try or attempt.
your gorgeous looks are as pleasent as heaven.
You have no idea what heaven is like, basically you're saying her gorgeous looks are as pleasant (which you spelled wrong) as an imaginary place.
you and I can stand tall together like the number eleven.
This is probably the dumbest fucking simile I've ever seen in a poetic piece about love.
your eyes hypnotize mine from the looks they give onto mine.
You've never seen her in real life, so don't write fake bullshit.
lost in thought inside heavenly skies divine with no time.
You've placed divine in the wrong spot. Nice attempt though on this one, seriously.
picture it you and I together we fly holdin hands in gods sky.
It would be God's sky, with a capital. This is also childish and fucking stupid.
the perfect mixture me and you paint a perfect picture.
Played out.
ill treat you good like you need to be like a gorgeous queen.
Like, like, like... poor writing.
together we can rule the world you and me and i can be your king.
If you're ruling it together, why would you be her king?
cus Carla even picaso cant paint this good of a masterpiece.
Picasso didn't paint masterpieces, people dug his style because it was abstract.

All in all, this was fucking terrible.

1/10 for one half decent attempt at a good line.

Wow, I haven't seen someone give feedback on anything on this site in years.

^ Hey, dungeon-mouth, make me a sig with a picture of He-Man on it.

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Wtf?

why? ...

Um, it's kinda obvious. He-Man's the shit...so am I. It's like a sig made in heaven.

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umm wtf why?......

Actually, to be perfectly honest, it doesn't necessarily have to be He-Man. Almost any character from Masters of the Universe would be cool.

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