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Old 05-05-03, 10:57 AM   #16
WORD~PERFECT
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yeah my bar count is done this way not for rhythm but to show punchline seperation.
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Old 05-05-03, 11:07 AM   #17
DETONATA
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Yeah, this was a pretty nice drop,
the bar length seemed too stretched,
you need to work on that, and ditch
the paragraph style of writing, space
your lines out so its easier for the
reader to get into. Content wise, it
was pretty dope, complex rhyme scheme,
it flowed pretty nicely. The best line was:

my skillz surpass you even in gospel with jesus lacing your vocals

^ that stood out to me from the rest of the piece.
Go reply to my drop now,
i showed you love so return
the favour.

Peace!
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Old 05-05-03, 12:07 PM   #18
WORD~PERFECT
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I 'LL HEED THAT ADVICE
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