RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 10-12-03, 06:45 AM   #1
B-Kast
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

I was being sarcastik dawg... But let me be a bit more constructive in my critisicm...

Up side to the drop, it seemed really deep, and thats good skill to be able to put how you feel in words, cause i cant do that 4 shit...


So i was feelin' that in your verse.


Your flow was a bit off but it was alright, just needs to be set out a bit better... But it was alright flow...

Structure was alright but needed to be done a bit better, the song had a deep meaning, bu it was behind every line, some of the lines i felt i had already heard and unoriginal, but thats how it is when your new to the site. Also it seemed a bit re-pedative, always sayin i luv your my family, made it sound a bit queer for tha net...

So just throw in mroe multis, come up with more original lines, fix structure and flow a bit more, and you'll be writing ill open mcis with more practice. Cause it all comes together over time....

Ight dawg...

pce
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-03, 06:57 AM   #2
yog_dogg
BANNED
 
Posts: 319
IP:

thanks dawg
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-03, 04:09 PM   #3
Dirty Sally
Light Weight
 
Dirty Sally's Avatar
 
Posts: 266
From: Minneapolis
IP:

That was basic but you were reppin' and I love that. The flow was nice. I would recommend adding wordplay, metas and multies. But stay active and keep dropping and you'll elevate fam sho nuff. One+
__________________
What the fuck is this?
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-03, 04:21 PM   #4
yog_dogg
BANNED
 
Posts: 319
IP:

^^thanks
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-03, 12:51 AM   #5
audible
Banned: Biting
 
audible's Avatar
 
Posts: 172
From: SO CAL IE
IP:

WHAT THE FUCK?....that wasnt tight...! it really fuckin sucked..
half of it didnt rhyme...i dont even write open mics...and i could FREESTYLE a better drop...seriously KOT what are you doing? whatever im not even in omens anymore...for that reason...we lost talent and got...well...this shit!
peace
Send a message via AIM to audible   Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-03, 01:16 AM   #6
yog_dogg
BANNED
 
Posts: 319
IP:

^^ oh thanks.... i really appreciate that shit and thats exactly what it is SHIT, yes i do need to elevate but thats not the kind of critisism i want i want critisism to help me... so thanks for the post dawg.
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:03 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.