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__________________

HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

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__________________

HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

yo dawg ya really got some skills
but I must say that I liked ya otha pieces more
this kinda lacked the vocab, but was full of emotions on the otha hand.
Keep droppin and speakin str8 from ya heart

peace

Thanks for the comment

__________________

HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

LM, I read your other two open mics, haven't replied yet, but they were dope (specially Mom, I'm Sorry). This one.. ehh.. the 8 Mile feel to it turned me off. Don't get me wrong, the flow was there and love knowing that the piece is easy to read by the flow, but jus the lack of everything else is what made this piece below average compared to your others.

Work On: Multi's, definately. Make ya shit more complex, make us think about it when we're readin, nawmean? Ya got the deep part down (as you showed in Mom, I'm Sorry), just get more complex on it.

Don't Change: The Flow. The Flow is, in a sense, Makin ya piece real good.

Keep Droppin.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=89235
How's bout droppin a reply to that aight? Thanks.

-Formula.

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__________________

HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

Yeah, this was real 8 Mile...

Kinda too much like it, but you flowed good and laid down the message like it's suppossed ta come.

I see alot of this around here...

I wonder if half the stuff I read is real.

No beef or insult meant, I just wonder why so many Open Mics are about just that...

Spittin, or the rap game.

I love it too, no doubt.

But I'd never in a thousand years wanna hit the stage.
Don't feel any kind of need to rock a crowd.
I have no need to insult certain people in my rhymes.

Sure, I'd like to get noticed for my writing, but just that...
Writing.
Writing, the art of it, has nothing to do with arenas full of fans, limos, bling bling, mics or anything like that...

Maybe I'm just confused.
The last piece I read from ya showed skill.
Emotion was portrayed. Reality. Fuckin...sorrow, I guess.
Reading the one about ya mom's made me feel ya.
This one makes me feel Eminem.

__________________
Merkings will occur Monday thru Friday, 8 am thru 5 pm, C.S.T.
For my convenience, not yours!

The reason I wrote this one is since I was young...like toddler age all I've ever wanted to be was a singer but I cant sing and then I got introduced to rap and before I knew it I was rappin all the time. And there's somethin bout the thought of an arena full of people wantin to see me that gives me a real buzz. My first two open mics...Mom I'm sorry and This Is my life were me lettin out steam and showin the sentimental side to me but this highlights my dreams and ambitions. I dont want the whole jewlerry and cars thing...I just want to rock a crowd and be who I feel more comfortable as and thats L the rapper not L the average white British kid who can rap. Plus writin this told people...in my eyes anyway that I aint after sympathy coz I had a huge row with my mom or I dont want comfortin coz the man I looked up to is dead. I just wanna be me. I aint gon' write bout all the down sides in my life all the time. I watch music award shows and think...that should be me. This was certainly the easiest to write out the three but it's true...makin it in music is all I've ever wanted to do.

Thanks for the honest comments

__________________

HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

Nice drop...

Wordplay and Flow on point...

Not too many multies...

Keep chasin those dreams...

And keep sendin open mics...

Thanks man...I intend to keep chasin

__________________

HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

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__________________

HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

nice verse..stayed on topic n shit..only down side is the 2nd from lasy line...aint feelin it..reads rushed n pushed..overall tho nice concept..like peeps said a lil like 8 mile buts its hard to b original wit so much shit out..keep it commin

hit up the link in my sig

thnks

Thanks for the comments

__________________

HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

yo man u gotta hella flow, and u stayed on topic wit showin what u feel. this one proly your best open mic to me, but u got madskills dawg and like Pac said... "Keep it Crackin cuz"

Peace (\1/)