nice

come on people .. dont get shy on me na .. still uppin for real feedback .. get at me! uppin!

Hey, can you post up who you replied to?
Rules Thread Link - More Information On It Can Be Found Here
Thanks Man.

yea homie it came out fresh i like dat get at me iight one

Supreme Da Ghost

1. http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=93165
2. http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=92995
3. http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=93367

there's the 3 links to my replies of other open mics .. took me a while to find em .. but i found em .. get at me!

aright yall .. i'm still uppin!

^Very good review. One thing I suggest is work on your structure...

Return the favor:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=93392

Yo!!! Whats good playa???!!!!


Yea yea yea, this was a pretty hot drop son. You had mad good word play wich lead to a nice vision and feeling of this peice. You can feel the tone and the energy of this drop wich was tiight. Keep doin yo thang and elivate'n. Be easy son and holla at me, 1

__________________
*R.I.P*
Jimmy L. , Louis L. , Aj R. , Tyler R. , Chris R., Dan W. , Matt F.......
" You all will never be forgotten and your spirits live within us all!!! R.I.P*"


" So for the 2nd time [The Pharisses] summoned the man who had been blind and said
"Speak the truth before God. We know this man is a sinner."
"Wether he is a sinner I do not know."
:The man replied:
"All I know is this...Once I was blind and now I can see"
John 1x 24-26

Hey this shit was hot. good word play. very descriptive. keep droppin. overall 7/10.

aright . . may be if yall fellaz gave good feedback as in my downfalls . . and what i did good . . that would help a lot . . but aright . . i'm still uppin fellaz . . and ladies . . if any happen to drop in and take a peep . . get at me! uppin!

i like the topic you chose... some people really feel that way but hide it from everybody... it was strong in the beginning and started straying from everything that was making it a GREAT read toward the end. Saty focused... it's okay to go back and rewrite stuff if you feel it ain't right... you'll know when it's right!... it's like they say, you're usually ya own worst critic!... if you think it's garbage or sounds like sum'n you wouldn't listen to from another artist then chuck it... at the same time ya gotta remember to stay original and build ya own style... don't copy what others do but expand and create off of the greats... keep that whole vivid vocab selection and imagery you were using in the beginning... buld off of that since that seems to be your strong point... then you can work on ya focus.... ya gotta stay on the subject and it's gotta flow...like a movie.... when ya got those two things down you can work on ya structure to bring everything together... omma real critical type of guy and i go over my own stuff worse than anyone i know.... also remember that when ya gotta title like the one you had ya hafta think about the length of the rhyme... this was entirely too short and should have been worked on more thoroughly.... if you would have taken ya time to write this i'm sure it would have been a lot better...it wasn't bad... but it still needs work.... keep writin' dawg! as long as you view these critiques as sum'n that'll help you in the long run you'll be fine