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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
12-05-03, 05:33 PM
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#16
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Middle Weight
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IP: 2DF8 44D6
Dope piece.....the rhyme structure was rather simple but yet it was effective......seemed to tell two different stories and then merge into one ultimate meaning......
I don't know...I read it like that...... Just work on your diction.....though you have a grasp on writing well with rhythm and such...you could have used better words to make the meaning hit much, much harder...... |
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12-05-03, 06:54 PM
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#17
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.-.Marxism.-.
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IP: 0470 87E4
^It was originally meant to be one for every month but I don't think anyone would read that much. . Each homeless person born. . But notice how there aren't any names mentioned. . Blah. . it takes forever to explain but you get the idea. .
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