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Old 01-03-05, 07:08 PM   #1
Parallel
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ya its ight...as long as i get feed im kool...and yea thanks again....uppin yall
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Old 01-04-05, 06:06 AM   #2
distilled
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The rhymes seem too forced, like they'r random words thrown in at the end of the bar.

Other than that, this was aiight, good concept.
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Old 01-04-05, 07:00 AM   #3
Tha Unknown (Uk)
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wet drop keep doin yo thing bra
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Old 01-04-05, 07:41 PM   #4
Parallel
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thanks both...but i dont understand how there forced...i mgith have forget to throw a (,) In to show emotion but its ight...uppin
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Old 01-04-05, 08:00 PM   #5
Acuity
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yo was feelin the imagery, u proper painted a picture wit ur lines man and it flowed well...ur vocab was on point - was used and used in right places...was fellin this drop was a proper story..overall 9/10. Peace
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Old 01-04-05, 09:05 PM   #6
Parallel
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thanks alot......wordizzle
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Old 01-06-05, 10:02 PM   #7
Affinity
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........uppinizzle
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Old 01-06-05, 11:58 PM   #8
The Militant
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this is tight shit multis were tight nice topic is it somethin thats happen to u right now...good vocab nice structre....
8/10
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Old 01-07-05, 12:14 AM   #9
aLteR EgO
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Yo i have this exact same shit goin on wit the two sisters instead of brothers but the james thing is the same its trippy as fuck nice spit!
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Old 01-07-05, 01:12 AM   #10
Mentor
a.k.a prozak
 
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really good if u asks me
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Old 01-07-05, 01:56 AM   #11
Affinity
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thanks i kinda wanted more of better feed..but i guess you cant expect much from newbies but yea my big brother james jeez hes a nerd str8 up...and then i have a lil brother but yea this is str8 true...
uppin
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Old 01-07-05, 11:21 AM   #12
intensify effect
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that link u have is boreder-line.....

plez try to get a little more in detail, like what was the best part and what was the weakest u know.....

this aint ya warning this is just ya heads up.... befor the warning...
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Old 01-07-05, 11:56 PM   #13
Parallel
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fuck you.....intensify effect..

i put that link there a long time ago...im not doin it again so shut up...

uppin..
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Old 01-08-05, 02:22 AM   #14
Kawn Flixx
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wow man..you're improving at an alarming rate..
your flow,vocab,and multis also..I actually enjoyed this very much..
the true story means you're writing from the heart..
this almost seems like Luther Vandros song "Dance with my father"
but alot less gay, I loved how you expressed your feelings
without sounding like a strait dumbass or soft cake..good job
I think raings are pointless now,I stopped using them
since your last crit
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Old 01-08-05, 02:25 AM   #15
Parallel
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thanks...much appruciated
uppin...
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