well im on a tight sched for the night, i'll drop you a poem i wrote yesterday thats in rap structure, tell me what you think, if you want i guess i can spit some lines later

just another grave along this cemetary path, a girl to be exact
a path that leads to my heart, constantly getting stabbed in the back
confused again, offering all my trust, for not love but lust
watching my sympathetic dreams, and hope get blow up in dust
another part of my life...wasted...just memories to rot till decay
something to regret, that i'll want to forget every single day
i despise the tears that flow from my eyes, regreting all my wasted tries
looking up to the clouds in the sky, preparing myself for yet another lie
theres just nothing left for me to grasp, just something i can't put in the past
so i enter the tub, but not for a bath, i hit the tap, and take my last gasp
...i loved you....


word, peace

i quite liked that.....

the direction it was taking was nice
some good emotion
ok flow
sum multies in there

structure was off tho
simple vocab...

from that id say u got potential on the topical/poetry side
u need more complexity..up ya vocab n metas...

if u do txt battles,holla wit sum links or spit...

wot u think dml?........theres potential i think....
maybe holla back wit sumthin harder?

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free agent

... holla ... .

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THUG LIFE, BITCH!

erm.u in this crew menta???????????????????????...

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heres a pretty old battle between me and headgames, i've obviously elevated since then

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=141918

ahhh fuck it, i'll spit a verse gimme ten mins

if you want "KATASTROPHE", then what you want is me
i cut emcees at the knees and leave em there to bleed
i go by red bull, my style is contridicting dull
i spit with metaphors, personals and multiples
"KONCEPTS" is the crew that i wanna represent
so pick me for this, its something you won't regret

Multies - Were 'Alright' .. Nothing Great' ..!!! Kinda Doll...! Like You (Contridicting Yourself)

Vocabulary - Equal' .... Could Work On It

Personals - Was Aight

Wordplay - Seems To Me.. You Tried To Much In This Category!' ..

Structure - Was Safe...!!!

Wasn't Really Feelin Your Verse..!! Buh' ..!!!!! (Im Not Going to Cast My Vote Whether It Be Your In.. Or Your Out)

Call's On You...!!!!! Multi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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awh no man^^^^^^^^
ur link was cool.that wasnt..........

i liked ur metas in ur battle.....i think u got potential...
ima say .yes...........
but wait see what dml sez.aiight

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word, i just spit that in 10 mins, cause you said throw sump down

word

hmmmm, like i said the verse u dropped wasnt good.but ur link was aiight..........
u got potential,but still work ro be done to improve.....

i know u active which is a bonus,n u cool unlike sum herbs on dis site.....
so ima say..........

MANIPULATION
DANGEROUSMYNDLUNATIC
FLUIDMOON
ILL-GRAMMATIX
MENTAL MURDEEROUS
RED BULL

U ON THA ROSTER.......
use ur potential tho dawg.............


uppin 4 tryouts........

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solid

let's get this shyt crackin' y'all... wuddup RB... welcome to da fam

^^^^^^^^^^^^yup gon b crakin real soon.............

2 spots left.uppin 4 those tryouts.

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