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Old 09-11-06, 06:30 PM   #1
Ysdat
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Richard. vs Soulstice

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Picture Battle

Check in due: 9/14
Verse due 9/20
Line limit open:

Last edited by Peace : 09-11-06 at 11:55 PM.
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Old 09-11-06, 06:50 PM   #2
Dickard.
A Life Of Chryme
 
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check...........
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Old 09-11-06, 07:04 PM   #3
Soulstice
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Sup Playa Pimp!
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soulstice tried out?!..dude we should have snagged that muthafucka!.
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Old 09-14-06, 04:21 PM   #4
Soulstice
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Nobody's on the road less traveled

Behold this road that's never passed
It would never let me dash, across it's sacred asphalt and it's ancient grass


The full peripheral, never even a little full, deprived of urchins
No samartins and no hoodrats pulling strings behind the curtains
No divine allurement, no invisible force calling you to the path
Just a tombstone where Robert Frost scrawled his epitaph
Theres a few sprawled on the grass, there's Hitler and Napolean
There's George Bush and Van Gogh and some hypocritic Holy men
Who would've sold there soul for this. This barren, empty route
This road... flowing off of the despairy entry, and Highway Astute
But traced back it's roots, its just unaccesable
Tangled in unpure veins and rusted ventricles
A path, many have lust for it still.. but they slip and never see it
A stop sign on the rotary that it picks it enemys with
A sentry, an oculus percieving all your choices, your motives and
Your thoughts, an eye seeing from detroit to the holy land
Destroying and folding man, as they scream for the highway
Whole populations seemingly dreaming to fly away
Before they die and stray from their soul's only selection
Dreaming, needing, wanting... to reach the road to perfection

No one's on the road to perfection today... No one's on the road less travelled...
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soulstice tried out?!..dude we should have snagged that muthafucka!.
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Old 09-17-06, 06:05 PM   #5
Soulstice
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show up. or ill give you a lisp
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soulstice tried out?!..dude we should have snagged that muthafucka!.
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Old 09-21-06, 01:20 PM   #6
Dickard.
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im dropping today...i thoguth the due date was 10/20
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Old 09-21-06, 02:09 PM   #7
Dickard.
A Life Of Chryme
 
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Feeling is numb whereas it's plain to see my minds not stable
Movement in my own body's stagnant I blink but to talk im not able
Moaning cry's of help though no clear words are spoken from me
Glancing to my left blood on the forehead of a girl who was once lovely
Attempts to proceed with motion failed certainly not triumphant
Tingles delivered down my spine screams of pain come from it
Flashback's on memories gathered knowing this will soon be concluded
Though memories of this very scene are blank yet we were so intruded
By death we have been called apon hearing whispers from the wind though
Blurry vision is risen and heat exposes fog so no visiters see through the window
No sounds of breath come about from my loved one sitting shot gun
Pressing my chin to sound the horn looking for cars yet theres just not one
Deserted from civilization no hope is proccessing through my ill mind
Flipping back my thoughts of sitting back on yauchts just to kill time

We were traveling at roads pace now we are motionless she's with no face
Coming up apon 120 mph switching lines in this one car suicidal road race
Its not road rage though it ended with her and I trapped in this enclosed space
The forsaken road has attatched us with death also known as our proposed fate
Cruising through lanes not knowing we were loosing remains time became a factor
Curfew at 10:30 we rushed quickly not knowing life would not be there after
Cars not spotted; traffic was no excuse though I'm sure they would have bought it
Steady at 95 mph eager to reach home should have came to my own knowledge
And eased the speed for the moment rather than crashing into the guard rail
Damages are perminant broken bones and taken live's not fake they are real
Eye's becoming blurry thoughts slowing down as well as the time for me
Would have been interesting to see my life..but heres the end of my story
Dramatic event's are concluding, real actions only seem like spoken scenes
These "scenes" are factual as my life ends on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
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Old 09-21-06, 07:20 PM   #8
Ysdat
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votes needed .
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Old 09-21-06, 09:16 PM   #9
Soulstice
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vzoate.................15
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soulstice tried out?!..dude we should have snagged that muthafucka!.
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Old 09-21-06, 09:27 PM   #10
fuck yuu
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This battle was closer then any of the other ones i voted on.. All i have to say about this battle is Quality of Quantity..

Soul- very well written... nice and short and to the point. didnt seem to cut off anywhere or be underwritten.. the imagery was great and i loved the emotion that i felt while reading this it was great... your vocab was good but could always be upped..

Mystic... you did good aswell, your imager and emotion was good but they wasnt as complex or as deep as soul's your vocab was good aswell.. only thing i have to say thats bad about your verse is that it was quite predictable after the 3rd line i knew how the verse was going to play out i dunno if it was just me or not but yeah

v. Soul
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Old 09-21-06, 10:02 PM   #11
~Luciano~
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Soul- loved the emotion loved the visual that u were useing
it was straight to the point you didnt use many fillers your imagery
was also good here..overall perfect drop

Mystic... you also had nice imagery and good vocab
i liked how u used ya words,BUT you lacked emotion
here dude,,u got to get a lil more creative wit ya words

v. Soul
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Old 09-22-06, 12:03 PM   #12
atti?
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soul's piece seemed very cohesive and fluent, contenctually the two matched up pretty well ... but soul's piece felt more authentic.

vote - soul
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Old 09-23-06, 02:04 AM   #13
Ysdat
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Soul wins .
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