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czech .

yeah yeah

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The Establishment
I am the Batman.

Silent Thunder

you can feel it coming, as if the skies start to darken
both eyes on every line as his grip starts to harden
a sudden surge, a quick burst, and everything around lights up
walls crumble down, words can change the world with the right touch
but there's no sound, just a man and his mind
and even when the suns out, there's still clouds in the sky
its concentration, hour by hour, patiently sliding the wrist
alone in his tower, waiting for that lightning to hit
and when the thunder rolls through, there's no crash reaction
his fingers flow with ink, writing paragraphs of passion
and he wonders about the thunder, is it hazard or magic
there's always a spark in the clutter that kindles a lasting matchstick
which lights candles in his hideaway, there's a glow in his windows
there's always a storm on his page, as if his hands move when the wind blows
but the rumbling of his thoughts usually brings colder days
and the only freedom he has is printing till his shoulder aches
relieve the pain, seeing rain water spill from the gutters
but the words from his lips cause his fingertips to flutter
and the thundercaps form once again, with a rage that could turn fate
instead it rattles through his conscious like a snake in an earthquake
he's always known about the storm, its what keeps him breathing
that sudden explosion of energy is all he's ever needed
its a silent thunder, a place where heaven stays ageless
but it doesn't go unnoticed, you can read it on his pages...

i like to think of my mind, as my own personal rain cloud
thoughts pour like rain, and the music always stays loud
the thunder roars, lightning strikes and leaves the sky and trees lit
but its always in my mind, so i just write it how i feel it

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The Establishment
I am the Batman.

damn this was a tight battle, two very good verses by both competitors. also two different takes on the topic

Flight:
and he wonders about the thunder, is it hazard or magic
there's always a spark in the clutter that kindles a lasting matchstick
which lights candles in his hideaway, there's a glow in his windows
there's always a storm on his page, as if his hands move when the wind blows

^^^ had to start with that group of lines, that shit beautifly written my dude no homo.

the strong point of your piece has to be the direction you took on the topic. i think i zoned out and enjoyed the storm in my mind when i was reading it. thats how good the imagery was. another thing that makes this such a strong piece is the vivid connection you gave the storm to your writings. your vocabulary along with precise word choice is what held this verse together. its what propelled your imagery and overall creativity. a very good drop.
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Darkmanner:
Emptiness surrounds the embers burning in my soul
Getting worse i feel it glow, now i yearn to make him cold
Fury intensifies, armies of men will die
Just to grasp that guy, soul deep into the afterlife

Even if it costs me half of mine...

^^^that basically respresents your entire piece and the quality of it

your emotion bled into this drop man. not sure if i wouldve taken the direction u took but it was easily understandable how i connected to the given topic. imagery was there enough to set the scene for the piece. good usage of multies. the only thing i could say against you is the execution of the topic. it sort of seemed like all you did was set part of the theme to fit the topic/tittle of ya piece. the bulk of the drop really didnt have anything to do with the topic. still a well written piece, but for that reason i have to give the edge to Flight

v/Flight

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C.S.

...Is to have Served Your Faction

my piece was about murder and retribution

lol

but s'all good though your feedback was solid nonetheless

This was a nice battle.

I thought that both of you took a fairly simplistic approach to the topic that was there to be flipped creatively. Flight had a better overall verse because I thought it was more polished. He had some nice imagery and a good level of emotion.. and he managed to have it flow through smoothly with a decent use of syllables for each line. Something so small can ruin a verse, but I think that Flight took the time to maintain a consistent level and it helped his verse become more readable. DarkManner on the other hand, I thought that his verse had parts that read choppily and it really made it a bit more difficult for me to get into the verse and therefore into the topic. He had some nice imagery and emotion in it too, but I felt that he failed to maintain a level of consistency in his verse and that is what left him down.

Vote: Flight

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