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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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| View Poll Results: Who Wrote This Topic Better? | |||
| Lethal Lunatic |
  
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0 | 0% |
| Manipulation |
  
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5 | 100.00% |
| Voters: 5. You may not vote on this poll | |||
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08-17-04, 02:51 PM
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#1
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DaTrus Is A Bitch!
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Lethal Lunatic Vs. Manipulation
IP: D52C 04A2
.::Rules::. 20-Line Minimum 30 Line Maximum No Crew No Hate No D/R Checks Due By 8-20-04 Spits Are Due 8-22-04 Votes Due By 8-25-04 Topic: Intelligence Good Luck To Both! ~R~ |
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08-17-04, 03:00 PM
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#2
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Paris Hilton Gone Crip
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IP: 4DBE 3D7F
checken in lol im facin you ibc both lbc and here lol
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A crip just like Bonecollector 
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08-17-04, 05:28 PM
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#3
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...tha princess of rv...
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IP: 6AD2 8F43
in...........gud luk lethal...
shud b gud this...
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. MaNiPuLaTiOn .ToPiCaL GeNiUs
free agent |
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08-21-04, 05:16 PM
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#4
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Paris Hilton Gone Crip
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IP: 28AD 5545
Intelligence
Pray to start, but ideas in my head won’t let me work Wat to dark, berserk ideas now thinkin one won’t hurt Need a subject dude, please tell me who I should use Not to be rude, but please God give me some clues .................................................. ............................. ....................................Wife and kid opens the door Now I see...I can use someone who I love and adore But how do I ask, should I ask her please ? I’ll say life's a blast, but we can see through many centuries But she has to listen to me, so we can live forever We have many things to see, we can see it together And the child and me can bond forever, life will be young Life will neva end weneva, It’ll be wen I want it to be done ...Dinners ready, devil in my mind I’ma tell her now... ...Would you do it for me, and do not ask how ? Yes I will, but if it messes up will I actually die ? No it won’t kill, and you know that I don’t lie Conscience in my head, (now tell her the truth) In the way is my mind...but the truth she’ll be dead, at youth But not a word I speak, can’t tell her that It’s absurd so weak, Sh on the thought of that fact Run to the lab...did the experiment now you have to take the pill Take only two or you’ll collapse, before you can’t stand still I’ll see you at home, wen I come back from work (open the door) It’s like a dark zone, is it real...it’s just absurd Wife and son on the floor, how could this become of ? Scared, close and reopen the door, how could I loose someone I love Now I realized it was the pill, an overdose just to much of it It did kill, I can’t believe, can’t hide from it I lost two precious things in life, not it hurts inside So I can rejoin my son and wife, I’ll commit suicide
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A crip just like Bonecollector
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08-22-04, 07:40 AM
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#5
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...tha princess of rv...
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ok.............
IP: 6AD2 8F43
intelligence
the Test
They had no television,john questions his father..."what is composition"?
Dad replys,"a type of fish"...mum nods her head agreeing with prescision John looks dumbfounded, but smiles as inside perhaps he really knew But he was scared,too afraid to question if his parents answers were true He`d done that before only to recieve "thats a fact"..and taken a crack He smiled,kissed his parents...and headed upstairs, headed for the sack December 12th 2037...the morning after, this was the day
The telephone call was only two impatient hours away Breakfast table was tearfull,anxious, entering the unknown It was Johns 10th birthday...so why the solumn tone? 2 minutes left..checking the watch one last disturbing time BBBRING!....BBBRING! It was uppon us...mum creeped towards the ghastly chime. The call was brief " Your appointments at one o`clock today
Mum relied "ok"..as she replaced the reciever in obvious dissmay Dad hugged her tight.."cumon one hour lets be on our way"
"Weve taught him well"..."he will be more than o.k today" Washed, changed, into the car...not a word was spoken As they set off...the uncompromising silence was never broken As they arrived at the governments centre..swung open the doors
Tearfull parents...crys and anxieties filled the large open wards John was met by the clerk..."this way to the govenment test" Entered into a room in solitude..as parents were unwillingly left They were told to go home...where they would hear the results Led away by men in suits...Father broken,torn..hurling insults The phone call comes...all too quickly in the fathers eyes He begins to cry,as he picks up the phone..this wont be lies *A STURN VOICE RESPONDS* "Unfortunately your son is too intelligent, Tommorrow his funeral is set" "We cannot allow him to live, as you know he would be a national threat" You see the child is innocent, but deadly in this day in age... If you have half a brain..You have the power to start war and rage.
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. MaNiPuLaTiOn .ToPiCaL GeNiUs
free agent Last edited by MaNiPuLaTiOn : 08-22-04 at 07:42 AM. Reason: structue...mistake |
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08-22-04, 04:24 PM
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#6
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New Jack
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IP: 269D 0C24
Lethal Lunitic- Your verse was hard to finish reading... your rhyme scheme sucked... you tried to do multi's with words that just rhyme, but didn't make sense. your spelling mistakes didn't help anything and your verse didn't how any creativity at all.
Manipulation- The majority of your verse was straight.The ending came out of nowhere, and it was kinda weak. Your rhyme scheme was ok, kinda simple and to the point, but you had good imagery... really, you could've dropped anything and beat the verse Lunitic posted. v/ Manipulation
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...on Point...   Get Off The Bandwagon.
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08-22-04, 07:08 PM
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#7
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Thank You, Come Again
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IP: 8D48 2106
umm Letal....ok verse..didnt make sense 2 me........story was kind of difficult to get thoprugh but ok work overall
Manip pretty good but ok story...overall better verse than LL sotry ehhhhhh waso k government doesnt kill you if your smart though...but I get your message but heres some advice: You basicaly were sayin you dont have to be dumb to start a war......but...most presidents are highly educated, bush went to Yale, hes not responsible for 9-11 thats only Osama, John Kerrys a fag wgo pretended like he actualy was heroic but he got his medal through flase claims.., and cuz your a bad pseaker odntm ena your dumb,...and wouldnt you have rather got rid of sadam ansd his sons enemies and terrorist faggoits then have em just runnin round ruinin thosep oeples lives forget it....... gettin that off my chest lol
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08-22-04, 08:42 PM
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#8
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Paris Hilton Gone Crip
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IP: 4DE1 49F1
I dont care give this to manipulation the topic was hard and the first round I barely give a shit lol but w/e give this to manipyulation
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A crip just like Bonecollector
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08-23-04, 01:07 AM
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#9
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DaTrus Is A Bitch!
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IP: 6DC1 4D5A
LoL^ Easy...Dont Commit Suicide Over This Shit.. I'ma Make This Plain and Simple. Both Your Structures Are Horrible...Fix Up Your Verses!! Manipulation Took This One With Better Vocabulary, Word Usuage, Emotion, and Creativity. She Just Edged Lethal In All Categories. Vote - Manipulation. ~R~ |
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08-23-04, 02:45 AM
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#10
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~Lyrical Nirvana~
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IP: C1DA C961
I have to go with munipulation.......since.....
both of your guy's sturcter was kinda not good....but Lethal yours just seamed so simple...and it had forced multies..... munipulations I just connected wit more.... v/Manipulation
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08-23-04, 12:23 PM
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#11
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...tha princess of rv...
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IP: 6AD2 8F43
yeh...the topic i found real hard.......
n chase it aint supposed to be true lol. its a story.lol. uppin
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. MaNiPuLaTiOn .ToPiCaL GeNiUs
free agent |
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08-23-04, 01:00 PM
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#12
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Simply Dope
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IP: 3240 794D
aight heres my breakdown...
letha lunaticl~couldnt really follow ur story and ur structure was weak... i hate being repetitive so imma just stop there Manipulation~good story and the ending caught me by surprise, ur flow and vocab were nice too so thats y u got this 1 v/manipulation |
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