Some might call me Picasso with a pen instead of a paintbrush. .
I paint a picture of my expericences as my tears rush. .
In my hand I hold my pen with a tip that's sharp as a nail. .
I paint a picture of my life with blood, tears and betrayal. .
First, a dab of a dark green for jealousy and greed. .
Mix in some blue, for the sadness that envelops me. .
Perhaps some red mixed with black, to create a broken heart. .
Cause from the start I was never wanted in the first instance. .
But with persistance, I struggle to move and groove on. .
I keep on, paintin' it all with words. . Creatin' my own shade. .
I paint the ropes of hope in my life.. Tattered and frayed. .
Stir in some jade laced with a touch of gray. .
To symbolize everyday spent in envy and decay. . But which way. .
Do I go next, I'm not done yet, I splurge the paint and hold my breath. .
What have I created? What is the color to which I have given breath?
I painted my life, and came out with the color of death. .

I paint a picture of my life. . It's the start of the end. .
But the beauty of life's canvas is. .
You can paint over it and begin to start again. .

Something short. . Leave links. pz

id say this is the best ive read so far today... really nice concept and well executed.... along with a good scheme that set the flow going... and nice wordplay... liked the way you told it to.... not much a can fault on here.... tight little drop

good topic....u were consistant with it too.... good job...
metas were good, vocab was good....wordplay good......structure good...
a nice piecce here....not much to critique....good job of pianting a picture...
one of the bettter ive read so far....peace
keep at it

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<Center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>.:Corrupted Visions:.</table></Center>

dope short piece
think its the first ive read of yours insp
very nicely done..
worked the metaphor of the canvas/painting imagery very well
expressive piece and im impressed with it..
for a short piece it packed a nice punch
the end was ill as well..
nice way to end the piece on a thoughtful note

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113145

^ ! )

Thank you..

I'll reply to yours when I get hom from school. .

pz

Dope multi's =) flowed good, & the concept was well worked out here..good vocab usage, a nice short sweet story ..

Uppppper.

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Fuck you

Zzzzzzzzzzzz..^

Fuck u nikka,.. theres nothing more to say about it o.O

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Fuck you

--[Flow]---
Flow was similar to some fo my older pieces...so it's dope..lol....ha, seriously..you had some dope internals in here and some dope rhymes, complex and deep...none of this "fun & gun" shit, you know...dopeness.

--[Vocab]--
Vocab felt a little bit restricted..like it was burtsing to get out, but just never got the chance...however, this bar was dope:
"Some might call me Picasso with a pen instead of a paintbrush. .
I paint a picture of my expericences as my tears rush. ."...flow was dope there as well....

--[Concept]--
Think this is where you really peservered...you built up a image of your life, described it originally and personally as a rush of colour...ther way you contrasted the colours with feeling and emotions i felt was ferocious...
"Stir in some jade laced with a touch of gray. .
To symbolize everyday spent in envy and decay. ." - you had a good few bars liek that, really helped me visualise it....

The way that you ended it, i felt that it was like a picture of insantity..erm...darkness and cold maybe...

--[Overall]--
Certainly one of the better pieces done by one of the better writers...4/5..vocab was the only lacking attribute, however the imagry outshined...dope.

if you got time: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113884
-cheers.