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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
05-31-05, 04:03 PM
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#2
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Light Weight
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IP: 0825 899A
I don't really have any topics in mind, think of some and we can just go from there
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06-01-05, 08:51 AM
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#3
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[ a.k.a Os ]
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IP: F519 0F67
Alright......
....Checki nin g'luck H
__________________
The Council
 R.I.T.T Champion
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06-01-05, 02:28 PM
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#4
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[ a.k.a Os ]
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IP: F519 0F67
Topic - Praying to god.....
.........????
__________________
The Council
R.I.T.T Champion
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06-03-05, 02:43 PM
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#5
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[ a.k.a Os ]
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IP: F519 0F67
......I don't know if he accepted this topic sooo....I just wrote to it anyways
 Me- not bold God- bold ...god i hope u can hear this, n give me a pear lift my heart can feel u but my tears doesn't believe u exist if u think i dont love u then u judge amiss now.. dont hold a grudge cuz i God didnt part this u gotta know demons also create a hard swift...only u can out-smart it reminisce on my life n you'll see i pray to u every time cuz reachin heaven aint easy, is always a scary climb still, i'ma pray out to u on those blurry nights tonight is a little different, my thoughts i'ma write with a pen n a paper, n put down what i often think with the softest ink n hope soon my coffin'll sink don't speak your anger out..simply hold it in we all know it ain't easy, but never unfold your sins be better to your heart n within.. and don't walk around with a grim... cuz life aint life until..u want reality to begin now, i've been guilty, but sometimes you let me down but i would climb a latter to heaven just to see now life n times..how come i never got through the dark maybe it was cuz..i was too innoncent in my heart just remember this remark...and let me die slow cuz if grey hair isnt deeper then struggles.. then defy grow please let me out of this world these are badder times.. n if a thick ruler has existence my life can draw phatter lines don't be foolish..life well get better..dont make wishes yet being a soldier in life..can be your biggest threat.. dont make regrets now..n try to bare a sweat life has it's hardships n glories.. so dont be scared to get upset although i dont wanna go below..death isn't where my fear lies i can hear my tears drippin over my rear eyes and nobody cares...it aint fair god please..let me in upstairs if this poem isn't the right prayer.. then explain to me what is gratitude and no, i aint mad at you...but frogive me how? when i already turned my back to u believe me god when i say..i never slack the truth i live life like a detective..always in a track of sleuth im here to forgive, is what i do...so dont be askew u ain't being untrue...and for that i gotta thank you split my back into.. .i just want to shatter into a broken basket so god let me die and provoke me in my casket
__________________
The Council
R.I.T.T Champion
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06-03-05, 11:50 PM
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#6
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Light Weight
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IP: 0825 899A
Sorry man, been workin crazy shifts...almost 4got about this battle...had to key somethin up
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06-04-05, 12:04 AM
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#7
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Light Weight
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IP: 0825 899A
Good...Bad...Regardless 9:26 p.m. I heard tha phone ringin rapidly Followed my normal procedure and checked tha caller I.D. The screen read Sanai Med...so I picked up tha phone And at that instance I realized my dad and sister were gone "Hello"..."Excuse me sir is this tha White residence???" "Yes"..."Well I'm calling to report there's been a car accident" At that moment I dropped tha phone and fell to my knees Heavenly father this is your humble servant coming to thee On bended knee, with bowed head and a burden to bear I put this in your hands as I come to you in prayer . Now sometimes we take for granted everything that we're given Don't even say thanx in tha mornin when we realize we're still livin All tha blessin's he's sendin and many've never knelt Some won't even pull a T.I. and Pray for some help When everything is goin fine we say we're masters of our fate But wanna pray to God when our burdens carry too much weight Trust in tha Lord and in him...root yourself deep...like sod Cuz whether things are good or bad always pray to God . Picked up tha phone and heard him say everythings o.k. No injuries were sustained...God must've heard sombody pray |
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06-04-05, 12:09 AM
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#8
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GG Haterz
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IP: D0A9 C251
Lol at God's grammar. I always thought he would, more formal.
__________________
 Quote:
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me  ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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06-05-05, 07:04 PM
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#9
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Light Weight
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IP: 0825 899A
Vote on this...please...somebody.............
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06-06-05, 10:44 AM
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#10
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GG Haterz
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IP: 4F02 7965
Aight, Os1ris, your flow was really hard to follow. The wording you did just kinda ruined the verse. It just didn't sound right. Structure was ok, but verse was hard to follow. Imagery was aight and so was the depth. Emotion was decent, work on your wording though.
HNIC, nothing really that great here. Emotion was ok, but you had no depth at all. Which I am assuming is because you rushed it. Your flow was ok, but I think you lost this on imagery and depth. v- Os1ris
__________________
Quote:
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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06-06-05, 01:05 PM
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#11
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 1AD2 C386
Aight, lemme break this one down for y'all...
Os1ris: what I liked most about your piece was the serene simplicity used, it gave the drop a powerful yet tender vibe. Gave quite some details, enjoy how you portrayed a sort of dialogue with God. This was more of an emotional instead of an imagery drop, emotion was pure as if it was written straight from the heart. Have to get used to structure in the beginning but all in all, it was okay, flow's good. H-N-I-C: the best part of your piece in my opinion was the second one, it gave more details, stronger emotion and an insightful content. I like the story you tried to build up but I got feeling you rushed it a bit, especially by adding just two more lines after the second part. Could've went more indepth there and that would've given you even more emotion. Flow was okay, structure was good. In the end my vote goes to Os1ris because I feel his piece was a bit more detailed whereas the one from H-N-I-C seemed bit rushed but it had potential nonetheless.
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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06-06-05, 03:48 PM
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#12
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L.E
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IP: BEF6 4DB8
Os1ris wins by 2 votes...
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