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Old 09-12-05, 04:42 PM   #1
Sean Gunner
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Atticus vs. Deranged

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Verbal Emotions IV

Check in's are due 2 days after the battles are made. (Wednesday)
Verses are due 2 days after the check in date. (Friday)
Every participant has 2 extensions they can use. Each good for 1-2 days.
Voting goes to Sunday at 6 PM EST/ 2 PM PST.

Line limit is 20-30 lines.

Every participant must vote on a minimum of 3 battles. Please vote on battles that don't have a lot of votes, it doesn't do any good if a battle with 10 votes gets another while one battle has under 2 votes.

Topic: Beneath the Hour Glass

REMEMBER! IF YOU NO SHOW THEN YOUR POSTS WILL BE CUT IN HALF!


Good luck
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Visions
50 nickle=less than 50 cent, go back to school you idiot
Seangunner@gmail.com
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me

^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly.
 
Old 09-12-05, 04:57 PM   #2
atti?
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I Hate This Tourny
Its Run So Bad
The Voting Sucks
Everyone No Shows

Sorry, Rev Told Me He Wanted To Hear Some Of My Complaints
... I Dunno Why, He Just Said He Was Really Interested In What I Had To Say

*Shrugs*



Checking Iiiiiiiiiiin, Mhm Yup Yup
... Good Luck Kid
 
Old 09-12-05, 05:20 PM   #3
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checking in.......good luck atticus.
 
Old 09-14-05, 01:54 PM   #4
atti?
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Deragend = K- Trini = Isn't ALLOWED To Spit:

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...02&page=2&pp=15

He's Supposed To Be Banned Right Now
... So Do I Even Have To Write?
 
Old 09-14-05, 03:31 PM   #5
Sean Gunner
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Until he's banned, you have to write.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Visions
50 nickle=less than 50 cent, go back to school you idiot
Seangunner@gmail.com
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me

^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly.
 
Old 09-14-05, 05:35 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Atticus
Deragend = K- Trini = Isn't ALLOWED To Spit:

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...02&page=2&pp=15

He's Supposed To Be Banned Right Now
... So Do I Even Have To Write?



fuck outta here son...you battling me...like it or not
 
Old 09-14-05, 07:32 PM   #7
atti?
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Pft Lolmao,

Wow, A Third Alias
... You're Cool
 
Old 09-16-05, 07:46 PM   #8
atti?
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Another day under works thumb, a slave.
Same shit just another way I complain.
Jump up to take a letter up stairs, "Damn Elevator,"
guess I'm taking the stairs. Each step a labor
as I trudge up past the first floor... Up at
the twenty first at last, Im there. Huff past
the desk executives where not a worry bares.
They care less of my presance, 'I'm Sure He' stares
filter the air. Ya thats what they're thinking, it's know.
The mail cart holds more status then those making it go.

*Starting Back Down Stairs*

Someone smiles at me... Please, what a fake.
A smile backed by the meaning, 'Just Take
These, Bring This' that and the other, blah blah blah.
Mother fucker! My lips nearly bleed seazing a song of a-

*EXPLOSIONS RING OUT!!!

The wall to my left I find no longer all set.
Sounds of rubble's fall rips all of our chests.
As a heart race breaks that wich cages,
I drop, start to crawl through all the brick sages.
Look for the business man... Where!?! THERE IS HIS HAND!!!
His Briddle Reminance Settled Below A Bolders Stiff Stance.

*In Awe, Before Rushing To Escape The Crumbling Building*

Black burns scar the walls, wires transpire to capture.
As this rush swims a river rapid as my eyes meet the rafter.
Forsee it's collapse soon to fallow, asume possition,
grasp my head as an end seems more than a fiction.

*Knocked Out/Wakes Up 2 Hours Later*

Was its a dre-, "AAAAAAH!" from within a scream
rips its way from the bowels of self out into the breaze.
Cant move my leg. Then I notice im wedged between rooms.
Whole sides of an oposite bowed in to kiss each's whomb,
only to birth a crippled youth who sits in the towers of ash.
Living under the bricks, as inocence drips from under the hourglass.
 
Old 09-16-05, 07:48 PM   #9
atti?
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'Nicholas Delaney 1982-2001'
9/11 Did All But Save Him.
 
Old 09-16-05, 07:56 PM   #10
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ooh shit...i forgot bout dis...i'll key up my verse now..fuck.
 
Old 09-16-05, 07:59 PM   #11
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Lol Ya I Forgot About It Too
... I Thought The Only Thing I Had This Week Was A Poetry Battle.

I Just Keyed That Shit Up Right Before Post.
 
Old 09-16-05, 08:18 PM   #12
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Beneath the hour glass

fuk the world & it's uncan's ..i've taken all the pain i can
so i'm actually grateful of the falling of the last grain of sand
cos i got the strife locked..contained in the life's clock..
once this hourglass tick-tocks..then maybe it might stop
it wuz all over..i'm happy..i didn't care bout gettin any older
as i embrace an early death wit my breath growing colder
my eyelider heavier than boulders..i shut 'em both swift
a 'lil pain sprayed through my chest..but i gut it all stiff


then i found myself in a dark tunnel..wit no lights nor noice
wanted to scream for help..but there wuz no one in sight to call
but then..the settin bloomed red..wit flames shootin out everywhere
a figure wit horns came n told me i wuz his student,so don't care
his appearance scared me...wit his eyes red..unbearably
he took me on his shoulders n i asked "where the FUCK u carrin me?"
no reply on his part..he told me shut up and play my part
i wuz hiz bitch to rape...just another pitiful glitch to hate.



i asked him where i wuz..he told me..
"this the last stop
the place where souls are tormented n bled to their last drop
where dreams become nightmares n pleasure becomes anguish
where my existance meant nothing 'cept for the measure to vanquish
this where i have my fun n u don't..where I stretch the cowards ass
so you can forget everything about u or ur past
cos this iz....beneath the hour glass
 
Old 09-16-05, 08:22 PM   #13
atti?
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Nice Shit,

Lets Get Votes On This Now
... D, Go Vote On Some Other VE Battles.

I'm Gonna Do The Same
... Drop A Link To Our Battle When You Vote So They RTF.
 
Old 09-17-05, 07:09 AM   #14
DQ
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Atticus: I am feeling your approach to the topic, it is creative and allows you to use a sort of poetic emotion that many can relate to. The built-up was excellent, imagery was definitely there (especially in the last two parts, it was very strong there!). Emotion was at a high at the last parts as well, imagery was rather consistent all the way through. The vocab was good, flow was poetic, overall solid piece!

Pressence: probably a more traditional approach to the topic but good nonetheless of course. Again a good built-up here but I feel your second part might have been a bit more indepth. My favorite one was the last because I could see the scene right in front of my eyes. Imagery was there but emotion was more present actually. Vocabulary was on point, flow was good as well.

It's a close battle to judge in fact: both had imagery and emotion down but also had parts that could've been more indepth. Though my vote goes to Atticus because I felt his approach a bit more and the poetic style he used was creative and interesting.
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Old 09-17-05, 10:08 AM   #15
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... Thanks Fem

I'm Not Really Feeling This 30 Line Max
... I Cant Do Anything I Want In That Short Of Lines

 
 


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