RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Back Stage > Concluded Tournaments > Verbal Emotions IV
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 09-12-05, 04:44 PM   #1
Sean Gunner
GG Haterz
 
Sean Gunner's Avatar
 
Posts: 6,387
Joined: Jul 2004
Status: Offline
Spektikul vs. Drama Queen

IP: 71E7 6664

Verbal Emotions IV

Check in's are due 2 days after the battles are made. (Wednesday)
Verses are due 2 days after the check in date. (Friday)
Every participant has 2 extensions they can use. Each good for 1-2 days.
Voting goes to Sunday at 6 PM EST/ 2 PM PST.

Line limit is 20-30 lines.

Every participant must vote on a minimum of 3 battles. Please vote on battles that don't have a lot of votes, it doesn't do any good if a battle with 10 votes gets another while one battle has under 2 votes.

Topic: Instant Fame

REMEMBER! IF YOU NO SHOW THEN YOUR POSTS WILL BE CUT IN HALF!


Good luck
__________________

Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Visions
50 nickle=less than 50 cent, go back to school you idiot
Seangunner@gmail.com
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me

^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly.
 
Old 09-13-05, 12:36 AM   #2
Spektikul
The Original Half Ass King
 
Spektikul's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,165
Joined: Apr 2004
From: Canada
Status: Offline
Text Record: 36-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 7C6D 1B8D

GL to my gurl.

Ps. Go easy on me, lol...
 
Old 09-13-05, 01:03 AM   #3
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
DQ's Avatar
 
Posts: 3,675
Joined: Feb 2004
From: Alosta City
Status: Offline
IP: 4EE1 19A1

Checkity Check

Usually I won't say this to you but go easy on me too hehe...

Well, good luck cutie!
__________________


Authentik Intelligence





...The future is mine...

Send a message via AIM to DQ Send a message via MSN to DQ Send a message via Yahoo to DQ  
Old 09-16-05, 02:20 AM   #4
Spektikul
The Original Half Ass King
 
Spektikul's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,165
Joined: Apr 2004
From: Canada
Status: Offline
Text Record: 36-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 7C6D 1B8D

Instant Fame


~ Introduction ~

There he dwells everyday, with his headphones and pencil
Perfecting every line, making the next one more suspenseful
Picked on for lacking wealth, ripped shirt and dirty jeans
After school he rhymes inside a place for homeless teens
Small shows - he never battled, or hated through his teeth
Then one day a gang came in, and started up some beef


~ Conflict ~

They kicked him till he bled, then he fell and hit the ground
Same evening on the news, some kids burnt the shelter down
He got himself together, inside his jeans he found a note
"Battle us at the Rap Convention" ...is what they wrote
Rappers go from all around, through the record labels eyes
If you win they have to sign you, with a $100,000 prize
Next day he sat and wrote, more intensely than you'd know
Got kids from the shelter, to volunteer within the show


~ Resolution ~
3 weeks later...

"Up next we got some kid we've never heard of, have you?
Anyways, hes taking on the leader of another hometown crew"
His hands were ice on stage, yet sweat ran down his cheek
As he saw the gang pull up, his legs became so very weak
Their crew took too long, was their leader ever pissed, man
Homeless Shelter kids wouldnt let them in..."no wristbands"
"Gimmie a beat", he proceeded to spit and hit the gang dissin
Crowd threw their hands up, while their crew could only listen
He wrote the perfect verse, they cheered when he was done
Then the record labels gave him a cheque because he won


~ Conclusion ~
years later...

The gang now watches TV, from deep inside of a prison
From a generous donation, they see a new shelters risen
The boy that used to rhyme, now a man teaching young voices
About how to rhyme in rap, and in life to make smart choices
Still wears dirty clothes, even though hes finally fully grown
"Cared more about others, than Instant Fame of his own"
 
Old 09-16-05, 02:21 AM   #5
Spektikul
The Original Half Ass King
 
Spektikul's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,165
Joined: Apr 2004
From: Canada
Status: Offline
Text Record: 36-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 7C6D 1B8D

Blahhh @ 30 lines max...

W/e tho.

I was hella tired writing this. GL.

Ps. Be sure to read the whole thing...
 
Old 09-16-05, 02:22 AM   #6
Dabatos
C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
 
Dabatos's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,693
Joined: Aug 2004
From: Bay Area
Status: Offline
IP: BF05 B235

it says 30 liens max? i could have sworn i put it at 50 lol
__________________

www.FG-Servers.com





Send a message via AIM to Dabatos  
Old 09-16-05, 02:24 AM   #7
Spektikul
The Original Half Ass King
 
Spektikul's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,165
Joined: Apr 2004
From: Canada
Status: Offline
Text Record: 36-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 7C6D 1B8D

*aims gun at Dabatos*

*cocks it back*

*aims it at himself in anger*

 
Old 09-16-05, 02:25 AM   #8
Spektikul
The Original Half Ass King
 
Spektikul's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,165
Joined: Apr 2004
From: Canada
Status: Offline
Text Record: 36-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 7C6D 1B8D

If I had 50 lines I could have actually made my verse dope...

Instead I rushed it.

But oh well Im dead now, therefore cant speak.

.................................................. ...............................
 
Old 09-16-05, 02:33 AM   #9
Dabatos
C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
 
Dabatos's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,693
Joined: Aug 2004
From: Bay Area
Status: Offline
IP: BF05 B235

lol omg..........hahah sorry.... lol
__________________

www.FG-Servers.com





Send a message via AIM to Dabatos  
Old 09-16-05, 12:32 PM   #10
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
DQ's Avatar
 
Posts: 3,675
Joined: Feb 2004
From: Alosta City
Status: Offline
IP: 71C2 E991

You can elaborate if you want to...I don't mind...

I'ma drop later tonight...
__________________


Authentik Intelligence





...The future is mine...

Send a message via AIM to DQ Send a message via MSN to DQ Send a message via Yahoo to DQ  
Old 09-16-05, 05:16 PM   #11
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
DQ's Avatar
 
Posts: 3,675
Joined: Feb 2004
From: Alosta City
Status: Offline
IP: 29BF F135

Burden of Instant Fame


Here I lay, this tiny creature just out of my mother's womb
In the midst of a white room, I only detect a sweet perfume
I couldn’t erase though I did not seem to remember her face
Nor her embrace, what’s left is how she was pure with grace
Never forgot how I was in my decorated cot seeking her hand
But I failed to understand that this family was simply a brand
A name put out to the crowd, supposedly I should be proud
And be on this number nine cloud where crying isn’t allowed
There’s no more time to be hostile when you’re born to smile
Locked away from outside world like living on a deserted isle
Camera lights shining so bright ever since I was a little child
First I enjoyed that attention; I was viewing it all so beguiled
But shit really hit the fan as that gossiping suddenly began
Called names as a dark clan or a part of a big, vicious plan
Headlines in the paper such as: “He isn’t really the father!”
I learned that in the story of my life I’ll never be the author
The inevitable result of this instant fame of that royal name
To fade all the shame, my mother taught me to be a dame
But behind smiling eyes, I saw her fragile heart torn apart
And if we’d part, she’d hold me tight, told me to be smart
I tried, oh dear God I know I tried to hide or find a disguise
Feeling so guilty for being at a high without having to rise
But then that burden of fame became too much to carry
We all wished that how we were born, we could now bury
Should be filled with a bliss instead we want to be dead
We decided to go right ahead and in death we then fled
Together…side by side, as a family we ended this fight
Our forces collide: we stride like strangers in the night


__________________


Authentik Intelligence





...The future is mine...

Send a message via AIM to DQ Send a message via MSN to DQ Send a message via Yahoo to DQ  
Old 09-16-05, 08:29 PM   #12
atti?
1926
 
atti?'s Avatar
 
Posts: 3,147
Joined: Aug 2003
Status: Offline
IP: 0825 899A

Hmm, This Was Fucking Hard.

Because While Both Were Great Pieces You Cant Judge Them The Same.

DQ Had A More Detailed Aproach Dragging Out More Detail
... While Spek Went Alittle Slim On The Detail In Order To Fit In The Story.

*Scratches Head*

Fuck This Is Hard.

You Know, I've Gotta Give It To DQ

Although I Actually Liked Speks Better,
DQ's Was Faaaar More Original While Holding The Same Elements.

Spek, Lol You Went To 8 Mile For Me
... I Felt Like I Was Reading Of The Script For That Movie In Rhyme Form.

Sooooooo Ya, Vote: Drama Queen

Please Return The Favor On Me And Deranged's Battle.
 
Old 09-16-05, 08:42 PM   #13
%%%%
Middle Weight
 
Posts: 648
Joined: Jul 2005
Status: Offline
Text Record: 5-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: DD10 7062

OK..first.....just to let you know....I am deranged..so....

Spektiful-Decent shit here.Good parts was ....flow wuz good n that the storyline was captivating.Keep me intersted through the whole thing.Now..the bad part..I is saw you were trying to get the idea to us..that the boy was poor.But the only description you used(ripped clothes/dirtyjeans/homeless teen)...wuz bland.And also..the part where the guy got beat up...it went too quick.all you said wuz "they kicked him till he bleed n he hit the ground".One line?I thought you shoulda made 2 bars at least for that part.Bassically..wat i'm trying to tell you is..get more descriptive.I ain't telling you to go Stephen King on us with 20 lines describing one thing..but just be more descriptive a bit.


Drama Queen-Ok..vocab n shit wuz good.Followed topic nicely.But...Flow wuz awful.NO offence to that.But it sucked.U seem to have too much text flow..and text flow means when you stretch ur lines or shorten them too much just for structure.And your transition from line to line was horrible.Just seemed to be..outta place.And as for content..good complexity n metas for describing shit...but i have to say...i wuz bored during it.sorry.I just wuz.Maybe..work on flow/transitition...and prob...get more interesting with ur verses?

Vote-Spektitful
RTF DOWN HERE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=208348
 
Old 09-17-05, 01:40 AM   #14
Spektikul
The Original Half Ass King
 
Spektikul's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,165
Joined: Apr 2004
From: Canada
Status: Offline
Text Record: 36-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 7C6D 1B8D

Nice drop DQ!

Upping yall.

Ps. Maybe we can get together after the tourny for a real topical...at least 40+ lines. lol.
 
Old 09-17-05, 11:18 AM   #15
Spektikul
The Original Half Ass King
 
Spektikul's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,165
Joined: Apr 2004
From: Canada
Status: Offline
Text Record: 36-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 7C6D 1B8D

 
 


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:10 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.