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Old 08-17-04, 07:19 PM   #1
MaFiA_CHiCK
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No More Tears

IP: FDEC 5834

So many tears I`ve cried at night,

So many years I thought were right.

You hurt me and broke my heart,

You were the one who wanted to part.

I still love you and I still care,

I just can`t take it, it just isn`t fair.

All the nights you were away from home,

Were all the nights I spent alone.

So my tears I shed for you,

Not once did you apologize for the things you do.

I`m all out of tears, I can`ttake this no more,

You met your last chance and now it`s time

you meet the door.
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Old 08-18-04, 03:07 AM   #2
Twizted Ayngel
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Pretty played topic, pretty basic rhyme & flow. Very basic vocabulary. Alright emotion & remotely boring imagery. Keep elevatin. Try to make your pieces a little longer, add some multi's or higher vocabulary. Multi's would be nice, they help the flow of a piece greatly. Anyway, I like this piece, but you could elevate greatly. Keep it comin.
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