This is my reality,fuck a trend or a fad
I'm sat down,scribbling with a pen on a pad
shit's so fucked up,I'm no freind to my Dad
Sometimes I wanna fucking end it so bad
life beginning to drag,I'm lost on this sheet
doubters wanna see me lick the balls of defeat
My freinds moved on,I've lost my belief
plus I can't even afford the cost of a beat
I tell it bluntly,not showing Josh with deceit
Wishing I could grab this pain,and force it to cease
I think of my mom,and of me making her proud
I don't wanna be a vacant face in the crowd
My parents divorce,left a taste in my mouth
mom's life's a mess,thinking of changing her house
dreaming of making it,I keep making a bar
but honestly,I can't see this rap shit taking me far

Now in my mind,Im buzzing with plans
I'm struggling,under this world's fucking demands
I'm not willing to watch nothing advance
but my rap career ain't shit,and I suck in exams
it's daunting,I got my future stuck in my hands
this is how it must feel like
it's real life

Feels like I'm gonna be here,every season and fall
filled with hate,I wanna just scream at the wall
sitting up at night,dreams of leaving it all
sick enough to get on my knees and just crawl
I need a future,gotta make this nonsense work
I don't care anymore,after the constant hurt
fuck my teachers,thinking Josh is just plain rash
and all of my doubters,talking the same trash
everyday's the same now,I'm walking the same paths
seems like my whole life is caught in a plane crash
I only keep writing this,'cause I know it pays
as poor as shit,wearing the same clothes for days
the flow was raised,classics I study devoutly
to the point that,Mom started to worry about me
maybe I'm dreaming,you might not grasp my scope
but when I write good,I just can't mask my hope
it's like

Now in my mind,Im buzzing with plans
I'm struggling,under this world's fucking demands
I'm not willing to watch nothing advance
but my rap career ain't shit,and I suck in exams
it's daunting,I got my future stuck in my hands
this is how it must feel like
it's real life

I'm depressed,my verse pours bleaker than rain
nobody else rapping explores deeper terrain
buying CDs all the time,I breath for the game
it stops me from exploding,seething with pain
claustrophobic,I feel confined to this place
my thoughts full of fear,combined with disgrace
everytime I feel up,my mindstate deflates
everybody chasing rap,I feel behind in the race
I'm just not sure where I'm headed no more
like I lost a game,and can't settle the score
after this,I just can't believe in heaven no more
sometimes I just wish I was dead on the floor
rhyming for life,fuck if I'm being drammatic
one chance,and I'm gonna seize it and grab it
now is supposedly the best time of my life
but it seems hanging on the next line that I write
it's like

Now in my mind,Im buzzing with plans
I'm struggling,under this world's fucking demands
I'm not willing to watch nothing advance
but my rap career ain't shit,and I suck in exams
it's daunting,I got my future stuck in my hands
this is how it must feel like
it's real life

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