THIS IS WHERE YOU DROP YOUR BARS YOU WANT TO BE BROOKEN DOWN TO LEAVE FEED BACK ON...

i'll be 100% honest to...

if i dont like it i will tell you...
if its weak.. I WILL TELL YOU...
if its BITTEN OR UN-ORIGINAL OR A BAD FLIp... I WILL TELL YOU...

not to beef with you... just to get your little spark flaming...

its to help one another out...

so you got some work that needs final feed back on hit this joint up...








ALSO... DONT KNOW IF THIS WILL HELP AT ALL BUT JUST SOMETHING TO KEEP IN MIND I GUESS..


here are some exsamples i have....
BAR = 1
trying to battle me u'll need a miracle... this lyrical god punches'll leave u lifted...
its gonna get critical.... thinking writing in a christmas book gone have hes lyric's gifted...

THE BRAKE DOWN:
trying to battle me u'll need a miracle... this lyrical god punches'll leave u lifted...
^^ thats a punch with a set up line.... cuz god is above so you get the lifted part... and miracle is something we all believe in from god.... which all fits with each other...

its gonna get critical.... thinking writing in a christmas book gone have hes lyric's gifted...
again a set up line with a punch... critical means serious... and in christman you get gift.. which also people say... yo you can spit or write a good book you know you got a gift...
so he seriously think hes rhymes gifted for writing in a christmas book.... lol... basicly im dissing him....

BAR = 2 with the brake down as im making a bar....

im raw like sushi... (--- thats a punch if ya didnt know.. but u can add more to it...
im raw like sushi.... making paper like loose-leave (--- thats also a punch....
^^ but that'll be like your set up line.... just make sure it flows and rhymes...

so u have to follow with something else...

im raw like sushi.... making paper like loose-leave
changing gears to the top like a mountain bike... u freestyler need a new speed....

^^ thats a punch as-well since a freestyle bike cant change speed....

now you can think of something else similure that would fit to finish the bar...
these are only exsample....

BAR=3

Ransum will load a clip... u gettin hit for startin shit....
My guns got more bodies then abortion clinic garbages....

^^ if you notice there isnt really no punch... because im useing it for a set up line ONLY...
you do not need a punch in every line.... 1 is a set up line the next you follow with a punch...

BRAKE DOWN:
Ransum will load a clip... u gettin hit for startin shit....
^^ THAT IS A SET UP LINE.... ALSO MAKE SURE YOU SHIT FLOWS AND RHYMES....

My guns got more bodies then abortion clinic garbages....
AND THERE GO YOUR PUNCH.... abortion clinic get baby bodys on a daily bases then there are toss in gorbages bags....
by saying my gun get more bodys then abortion clinic garbages..
im saying i kill more nigga with my gun then abortion cilnic...

a punch is basicly saying something without saying it direct or simple its more complex and have a bit of word-play and multis depending how you start off your punch......



LIKE I SAID there only exsamples.....
its not my best stuff just something for you to get or start understanding...

if you need more help pm and send me a few bars i will help brake them down...

as you making the bars.. JUST KNOW YOU CAN MAKE A PUNCH OUTTA ANYTHING....
SO GET VERY CREATIVE WITH YOU WORK.... THE MORE CREATIVE THE BETTER THE PUNCH IS...

DONT WORRY AS LONG AS YA WORK ON IT AND KEEP MAKING NEW SHIT UP U'LL SEE IN TIME IT GETS ALOT EZ'ER TO COME UP WITH PUNCHES.....
TRUST ME I'VE BEEN THERE AND IM ALSO STILL LEARNING WE CAN LEARN FROM EACH OTHER SO LETS DO WHAT WE GOTTA DO AIGHT.... 300 J.G 4 LIFE....

i'm perpetually into shit...
you only guilty if you get caught, so if the law don't get these bars man i'm innocent

^thought i'd drop by first...

__________________


"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..."
-Konchance

my poetry:
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