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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
09-11-05, 05:34 PM
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#1
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Just searching.
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The Faceless Killer
IP: 28AD 5545
My eyes searched through the populus,
my views of their eccentric behavior, their electric and monotonous responses to accusations, I discredited theories. I thirsted for life's juices and sweet berries as I surveyed this land of the uncivilized, and I may have attempted to kill a few, but I went overboard, I rewrote records. And purple shades and lost breath were my making, the destruction of families a meager casualty in the widespread destruction imminent from my interactions. The environment and ecosystem trembled in fear, my hand in this pain and torture not a fist of glory, but the touch of decomposition, that sent humans, animals, and plants alike, into eternal slumber. It was like a game of checkers, and I'd go from the simplest of diseases to a wide plague that swept a nation of dirty scoundrels and a place of poor children. And through this repeated killing, my spree would come to an abrupt end as help would be seen from the edges of the horizon as the sun would set on death. I struggled against the saviors, showing my hands and my breath of annihilation, a swift gale of wind washing over the already barren landscape of a troubled world. And to think, somehow people would believe that they could face me, like a vaccine could stop a killer that turned small pox into a period at the end of so very few lives' sentence, in the medical books. My name was whispered in the Carribeans, in all found continents and countries, and I even tried to put my hand of evil to grab onto the icy tundra of the Arctics, but the lives there would be a simple distraction to the main force I would devour mercilessly. I could make wars scarcely memorable, the corpses united in a big bonfire of flame that sent smoke signals trailing to a heaven that had forsaken them. Repeatedly,they'd try again and again to find a cure for me, to end my slow and painful killings. I was an epidemic that could not be stopped, but in a final decision the clouds would part, and the forlorn would attempt to smite me to gain the belief of corrupt civilizations once more. The Tigris and Euphrates, the Mississippi, anything... I could hide on the banks of anything I wanted, in the shallowest waters my presence could not be noted in any slight form, and I could be the muddy liquid in your drink, or the nimbus in the sky that waited to strike down. I infected those, and for a brief time, I flourished. But then, humanity turn on itself, kept the ones I had touched in their houses and only the humanitarians would allow them basic and redundant needs. And for a time, I departed, but be assured, you cannot stop me for eternity. For I remain in the minds of those, the many who had suffered under my tyrannical and swift rule, because no one could forget the time, when they turned on eachother for survival. Last edited by Daemon : 09-11-05 at 05:49 PM. |
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09-11-05, 08:21 PM
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#2
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Just searching.
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IP: 28AD 5545
YOU RACIST!
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09-12-05, 04:34 PM
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#3
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Just searching.
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IP: 0825 899A
Racist Scoundrels. Eat My Shorts.
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09-13-05, 05:53 PM
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#4
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Just searching.
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IP: 0825 899A
Is It Too Good For You To Respond Too?
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09-15-05, 09:45 PM
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#5
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 0825 899A
lol^ wow man, the metaphors in this were great, very well written. Definately one of the best pieces i've read so far this month. I'd say a good contender for PS of the month, we'll have to wait and see.
__________________
"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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09-17-05, 10:54 AM
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#6
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Just searching.
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IP: 28AD 5545
Gar, I'm tired.
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09-18-05, 03:17 PM
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#7
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-BTR-
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IP: 3240 794D
Ha Ha Ha. You got about 6 replies and 5 of them were you.
This was very good piece though. Good vocab in this one and I like the way you structured everything. I agree with Fluidmoon about the metaphors. Should be a top contender for PS Of The Month. |
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09-19-05, 05:51 PM
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#8
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Just searching.
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IP: 3F7D ED7B
^ The six of them are that currently me are the best.
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09-19-05, 08:03 PM
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#9
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-BTR-
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IP: 28AD 5545
^nice sig. Ay can you leave some feed on my track "Be You". The link is in my sig. Thank You.
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09-20-05, 06:36 AM
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#10
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1926
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IP: 28AD 5545
Pretty Dope Piece Man
... You're Definately One Of The Few Good Poetry Writing On This Site. The Piece Had Strong Emotion And Imagery ... Nice Well Strung Metaphors That All Flowed Nice Into The Story. Uum, Vocab, Storyline, All Pretty Much On Point. I'm Gonna Look Around A Bit ... But This May Get My PS Vote. Hey, Please Return The Favor On Any Of My Poems. |
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09-21-05, 04:46 PM
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#11
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Just searching.
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IP: 3F7D ED7B
For the track, my speakers are busted. And thanks, Atticus, I'll check one out.
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09-25-05, 09:21 PM
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#12
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New to RV
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IP: 3F7D ED7B
Bumping like my eye wife sink.
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