Sit And Concieve The Tears I Conceal Within My Hinderin Eyes.
Blink To Shed And Ripped To Shred As I Expose A Slitherin Cry.
Disfigured Inside, My Tears Dance In An Untterly Fashion.
Two Roads Departed To Leave A Detour To Emotional Clasin.
Clouds Gather To Clense The Buried Memories Held In Bond.
A Crackin Flame Vanishes For The Spark It Held Is Gone.
And The Emotions Left In Notes, Love Witheld In Fresh Roses
Is Burned To Ashes. The Ashes Throwed And No Has Noticed.
Birds Chirp And A Song Fills The Breeze To Convay The Fields
Of A Darkened World Were Emotions Are Hindered And Kneeled,
So While The Roses Shed The Petals And The Thorns Are Revealed.
The Love Portrayed Is Caged And Forever Will Be Concealed
And Rains Showers The Shadows Of Love Left In The Trails.
Although Seperated, A Spark Til Lingers, Sculpturin Another Love
So While This One Has Departed.....
........A Rose Petal Falls And Brings A Tear Of Emotion From The Sky's Above.




His First Reponse When I Showed This To Him On Msn.


And Yessir I Am....! Now Give Me Feedback!

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lol

nice shit the tech

especially So While This One Has Departed.....
........A Rose Petal Falls And Brings A Tear Of Emotion From The Sky's Above.

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R.I.P Proof

thanks for the feedback homie.............uppin for more feedback

feedback to...
sho's catching tears
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=224406

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yo dis shit was tight but was dis pose 2 b3 like a sick poem or sumthin but it was good k33p it up b sure 2 leave me f33d n ill do da sam3 4 u

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R3PPRESNET DAT RAP GROUP RK ONLY DA B3ST R N IT

ok and stop using numbers like that

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Yo this was pretty dope right here. I was really feeling this. Nice concept had a nice flow to it. My favorite line was the last one even thought it felt abit stretch. But maybe its the way you say it. But still this was some dope poetry right here. Anyways i give this one a 8.5/10.

RTF on my OM thats linked in my sig

Stay Up Homie

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Project List

The Classick Mixtape Vol (8/18)
Age Of Consent Mixtape Vol 1(16/16)
The Classick Album(2/16)
S&S Express E.P.(1/10)

Lot of back to back shit. Stay tuned.

yeah, you owe another link.

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i actually liked this a lot here, the metaphorical fashion was genius...and possibly as relevant as it can possibly be, the concept overall was beautiful..however....about half of your imagery wasn't very great, and thats because your adjectives didn't seem to be very strong connecting with the topic...also, the rhyme scheme was a little elementary....and you might have done that on purpose..but i personally like to see a more complex rhyme scheme..this was good however....i'd give it a 8/10....great work

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Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.

"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox

The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew

lol you gave feed on the wrong one Tech Lol..........U I wanted you to give feed on the Remix. I wish i could delete the original. But ohwell its all good. preciate da feed

~1~

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Project List

The Classick Mixtape Vol (8/18)
Age Of Consent Mixtape Vol 1(16/16)
The Classick Album(2/16)
S&S Express E.P.(1/10)

Lot of back to back shit. Stay tuned.

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2690547


there, now leave feed drakel

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thanks for the feedback ya'll...................

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This was really good man. I loved the concept, flow was real nice and the vocab was cool. I know u can up ur rhyme scheme much more, so i aint even gonna get at u for that. Overall man this was real dope. Favorite bar was:

Although Seperated, A Spark Til Lingers, Sculpturin Another Love
So While This One Has Departed.....
........A Rose Petal Falls And Brings A Tear Of Emotion From The Sky's Above.

^^Im defenitely feelin that bar man, great stuff man. Keep it up. Please rtf on anything in my sig. Thanks and Peace.

aight, i think i've hit up 95% of that stuff in your sig....lol, but i'll check to see......thanks for the feedback

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uppin for more feedback

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