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checking in, good luck

Checking, same to you.

A bright light glowing out of the bottom tubes of the car
provides a sight worht seeing from near or far
As the engine starts roaring, the light becomes brighter
Two racers prepare to participate in illegal racing, their heads are lighter
As the flag goes down, the tires screech
the cars learch forward, way beyond our reach
speeding hastily, they switch into 2nd gear
looking at each other, trying to inject fear
The traffic beam projects a light that hits the car's body kit
watching the luminious metal shine is better than starring at a naughty clip
the 3rd gear is present and they start to get serious
their goals in these 15 seconds arent mysterious
the expressions on the drivers' face show a look of hate
Its a disgrace how ugly their lives were chosen my fate
A peeble on the road caused a commotion
as the cars spun out of control like they were driving on lotion
A 180 degree vertical turn brought them to their present location
Putting a frown on the bystanders, an unpleasant sensation
the drivers died at impact with the ground
The crowd scattered, noone to be found
The cops arrived just as the blood finished flowing
only thing that was left, was the neon, peacefully glowing.

funny thing about this battle is that when i saw wut the topic wuz...i automatically thot like MC Iggy did...cuz daz wut i woulda wrote about. with Kein Witz piece i didnt really see how it related to the topic unless he meant it like "he saw neon lights during birth" or sunthin like dat. never the less...both pieces were good in their own individual way. both created a mental picture for me...and i liked Kein Witz vocab...but wit MC Iggy'z piece he didn't need extensive vocab...the simplicity went well. but because i culd tell dat Iggy'z piece wuz more related to the topic....he gets my vote

vote = IGGY

vote/Kein Witz

Neon: A bright Light

When born, the light you see is incredibly bright compared to what you are used too in the womb...Witz had such great detail and imagery of the whole birth and the "mysterious man in white"
Iggy your piece was decent, just didn't really do it for me..

lol dis guy voted against me in both battles, and plus me and him battled and shit
just makin sure these arent hate votes

^^ no hate...just fact
I know you can write better topicals then the one you did

One sided battle here. Kein took this all the way with a better concept
and an overall better piece. I liked the way he didn't make his take blatantly
apparent. That kept me interested wondering what exactly he was building
towards as opposed to Iggy's where right off the bat his approach was
obvious.

v/ Kein Witz

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6 Feet

Kein Witz: had a nice amount of vocabulary that didn't affect the content of your piece, it brought it out better. Imagery was strongest aspect in my opinion, you kept a sense of mystery over it in fact. Might not been completely and consistent on the topic but I see where you were going with this, emotion was good as well. Creativity was at high level of course, hadn't thought of this approach when I saw the topic.

MC IgGY: another approach I totally didn't expected from this topic, you took the more literal meaning of neon lights but managed to make the topic your own. Vocabulary was bit more basic but it gave the poem a mystical, powerful vibe. Imagery was excellent, I could really picture the whole scene and your emotion was strong as well, especially the ending had a very raw emotion. I love the last 2 lines, keep it up!

My vote goes to MC IgGY because I enjoyed reading his piece a bit more, nice creativity and excellent imagery but both dropped good of course!

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Uppin'...good drop. I guess it's really about what kind of style people like the most.

now im going to have to say this battle goes to "WITS". He first of all had a better Structure, it looked tidy. He had nice flow, i can really think about what he is saying.

best lines used was.

Quote:

.:: My eyes are still closed, and I can feel the back of the searching hand, ::. .:: Never have I felt so exposed... seems life never goes exactly how you plan. ::. .:: I can remember the harsh lights, staring down at me like surrounding suns. ::. .:: Claustrophobia coming, the walls so tight...holding me, giving no room to run. ::.

very nice liness used here, so much imagery.