Understatement:
Wow this is for sure one of the top pieces written in this round. I loved it--You had some very nice choices of vocabulary in this giving the words soo much more depth along with description of emotion and feeling....

A line that should be pointed out.......

"Potentially dangerous to myself when she left me
Expression of love and joy has turned dark and languidly empty
Rivers running dry, a tap that used be unending
Italic existence leaning to the right, no defending"

These lines were filled with imagery--"rivers running dry, a tap that used to be unending" beautiful metaphor that is deep with meaning--I honestly see the effort in this written and feel that it has most of the elements in making a good poem.....you used the use of bolds to formate a message within itsself which is very origina-----overall nice piece i give it a (9)


shiznit:
Wow deep emotion through a very personal topic.....I think you made this original just by the choice of structure throughout the poem....both rhyme scheme structure and verse structure....There was some deep imagery in this

"The sun had faded out in the crimson horizon and the streaks of sunlight peeked into the last fragment of darkness"

Nice opening line for a poem really gave the setting/ direction for the begining....

"He often believed that he was already cursed by the so called love that originates from the sight of your face, which his soul forever encompasses"

wow--i could picture the feeling of rememberance through this line--sadly it probably brought depression instead of joy to the man who had invisioned it...
This poem had many great aspects in it--It was a bit lengthy but only because of my approval---great piece im going to give you an (8.5) due to originality--imagery and emotion that i felt while reading....much love and respect---

Final: Im giving this to understatement i was very impressed by his piece and feel it deserves to go to the next round--both great pieces and both deserve respect.

-1-

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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

why are you booing?
jen, I seriously thought you beat me, and I really like your piece.
good round
peace

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

i thought she beat you too..thats why im booing.

You did good but i thought she won it.

booooooooooooooooooooooooo

nahh....i knew i was gonna lose cuz pat's piece was strong....and mine is a whole lot of shit..big "BLAH"...

...i really liked urs....the acrostic style and vocabs really pulled out on me....thats awesome...good luck on the 2nd round...

hey pat...dont let phrantik win aiight??? jp....

i bid good luck to all who advanced to the 2nd round!

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

Good Job Shiznit...
Congrats Understatement...

Death Currently Isn't Taking Questions
I Tried Asking Him...Sorry

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thanks dude....who's death? the dude in the still black robe with the scythe?

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

he's basically commenting about my sig...lol

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>