RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 07-16-06, 07:32 PM   #16
tornado220
Light Weight
 
Posts: 298
Joined: Jun 2006
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: CF74 5D3A

Look I'm Surprised At The Poetry Lovers This Was Poetry I Will Repeat This Was Poetry Hey Atticus Needs This Kind Of Stuff But I Don't Think He Has Sense Enough To Appreciate This (it Flowed With No Particualar Attitude) Big Words That Rap Don't Need
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-06, 11:16 PM   #17
Journal!st
Above Originality
 
Posts: 2,757
Joined: Jul 2005
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 3C3A DA95

thanks dude even though i didnt even understand what the hell you were sayin
__________________
Chryme Syndicate
-Chalkin' Up Your Future
Send a message via AIM to Journal!st Send a message via MSN to Journal!st   Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-06, 10:37 AM   #18
tornado220
Light Weight
 
Posts: 298
Joined: Jun 2006
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: CF74 5D3A

rap is in first person the writer actually participating and has a attitude listen to this i'll change a little

appear to be shook and surprised as fear looked into my eyes
the velocity and thrill caused animosity to bulid even in skies
stride down streets collide with clown i defeat to turn the tides
haunt creeds and taunt breeds hurt feeling alert by revealing
the decadent plateau, with emancipated fears and squealing
my plan has devastated years of feelings and got cat kneeling

As fear is looked dear, straight in the eye
animosity builds with strides of carelessness that collides
taunting breeding, Hurtful feelings good-bye
Waived on a decadent plateau of emancipated tears and lies

Last edited by tornado220 : 07-17-06 at 10:53 AM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-06, 10:55 AM   #19
tornado220
Light Weight
 
Posts: 298
Joined: Jun 2006
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: CF74 5D3A

  Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-06, 02:09 PM   #20
atti?
1926
 
atti?'s Avatar
 
Posts: 3,147
Joined: Aug 2003
Status: Offline
IP: 0825 899A

No one understands what he says
... It's best to just ignore it.
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-06, 02:31 PM   #21
Dickard.
A Life Of Chryme
 
Posts: 5,019
Joined: Aug 2005
From: Boston
Status: Offline
Text Record: 24-4
IP: E12F 5979

he's a retarded version of maddrapper...
__________________
A LIFE OF CHRYME
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-06, 05:27 PM   #22
Pakaveli
New to RV
 
Posts: 50
Joined: Jul 2006
From: In Shadows
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 36FB 8810

Quote:
Originally Posted by tornado220
rap is in first person the writer actually participating and has a attitude listen to this i'll change a little

appear to be shook and surprised as fear looked into my eyes
the velocity and thrill caused animosity to bulid even in skies
stride down streets collide with clown i defeat to turn the tides
haunt creeds and taunt breeds hurt feeling alert by revealing
the decadent plateau, with emancipated fears and squealing
my plan has devastated years of feelings and got cat kneeling

As fear is looked dear, straight in the eye
animosity builds with strides of carelessness that collides,---do not need an S,
taunting breeding, Hurtful feelings good-bye
Waived on a decadent plateau of emancipated tears and lies,<-Collide and lies not rhyme


See by putting an S at then end of collidies you sentence won't make sense yet if you take it awya your rhymescheme would be diminished. Basicall,y next time you give an example do it right.
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-06, 09:12 PM   #23
tornado220
Light Weight
 
Posts: 298
Joined: Jun 2006
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: CF74 5D3A

THE BOTTOM VERSSE IS HIS VERSE MY VERSE IS THE TOP ONE SO i'LL SAY WELL DONE FOR MYSELF BUT ITS RAP VS POETRY THE DIFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-06, 12:02 AM   #24
Valerie
Can u guess 2v's Gender?
 
Valerie's Avatar
 
Posts: 7,895
Joined: Dec 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 12-5
IP: 2D42 FE98

dope shit fam.
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-06, 02:45 AM   #25
Pakaveli
New to RV
 
Posts: 50
Joined: Jul 2006
From: In Shadows
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 36FB 8810

Quote:
Originally Posted by tornado220
THE BOTTOM VERSSE IS HIS VERSE MY VERSE IS THE TOP ONE SO i'LL SAY WELL DONE FOR MYSELF BUT ITS RAP VS POETRY THE DIFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO



WEll thansk for the constructive criticsm.
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-06, 09:00 AM   #26
Critic
Black Poet
 
Posts: 1,474
Joined: Apr 2004
From: London
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-1
IP: 860D ECBB

Both come well nice, was feeling Tims verse, seemed more complex and
abstract,.. just a really good read. Both verses flowed really well nice use
of vocab and good grammer. Dope I would like to colab with both of you
if your down.

Two bars that I liked,.. were..

Battered dimension, trampled in digression
She searches ever more still she is a lost cause even in her reflection
^^^Dopeness^^^ really liked this...

Gloves made from quintessences of Satan
Drove wild boars in communities of Haitians
^^^this was just dope flow !!! liked it.

Stay up both ~
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-06, 09:06 AM   #27
Journal!st
Above Originality
 
Posts: 2,757
Joined: Jul 2005
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 9465 0DDF

thanks FAM and tornado...look RAP iis for txt battlers so stick to it if i wanted to flow i wouldnt put much emotino into it now this is more poetry?!...if so my whyme scheme would be diffrent and poetry doesnt need to rhyme does any of the words rhyme at teh end?!..YES poetry doesnt need to so NO this aint a poetic piece so please leave and thanks for cloggig the thread.

understabd this topical..has its own version of writing with flow and consistancy.
poetry is like a mystery to one's eye...
so your not comparing RAP vs. POETRY.


thanks critic my dude!
im down just fill me in on the topics
__________________
Chryme Syndicate
-Chalkin' Up Your Future
Send a message via AIM to Journal!st Send a message via MSN to Journal!st   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-06, 10:05 AM   #28
Pakaveli
New to RV
 
Posts: 50
Joined: Jul 2006
From: In Shadows
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 36FB 8810

RAp is a subsiduary of poetry.
.
.
Critic if ya wanna colab, holla at silent and discuss the topic and verse line amount hen silent will tell me and we'll get it rollin'
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-06, 11:30 AM   #29
tornado220
Light Weight
 
Posts: 298
Joined: Jun 2006
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: CF74 5D3A

yeah got a lot of cats think they know it all to me poetry that don't rhyme is only effective writing now break that one down tell me the difference between the two

and like i said about rap and poetry still stands until proven wrong now stop clogging the board trying say i don't know what I'm talking about because I do
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-06, 12:50 PM   #30
Journal!st
Above Originality
 
Posts: 2,757
Joined: Jul 2005
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 9465 0DDF

drop the subject

ok uppin this....
__________________
Chryme Syndicate
-Chalkin' Up Your Future
Send a message via AIM to Journal!st Send a message via MSN to Journal!st   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:57 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.