Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
04-05-03, 10:57 PM | #1 | ||||||
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i aint written in time
IP: 5159 DA80
i sit in the breezey wind....... high in doubt / i slowly begin freezing from the inside out / if i open my mouth then the coldness'll get me now / and for eternity ill wonder why you ..LET ME DOWN... //
now anger builds inside me screaming but hidden, / feeding and living off the part thats needing and giving, / till the feeling has risen and someone rapes it some more, / Till I TAKEN SO MUCH SHIT I CANT TAKE IT NO MORE // now ive had enough ...of all this shit,/dont wanna call it quits but you've fucking called it bitch,/ my tears slowly fallin thick but im emotionally drained, / emotionally shamed to think u wanna engross in my pain..........lalalalaaaaaaa this is better in audio |
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04-06-03, 04:18 AM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: 5153 3B92
ehhh you really need to work on your punches imagery pretty much everything only thing you have is tha Flow
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04-09-03, 08:32 PM | #3 | ||||||
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IP: 4577 CD9A
i liked it but you need to take the "lalalalaaaa" out
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04-10-03, 12:12 AM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: 4577 CD9A
I actually liked this a fair amount.
I wasn't feeling the fucking, bitch, shit in it, but... yeah. Rolling my fucking eyes out the sockets at comment #1. "You need more punches in this, dawg, it a weak battle verse, yo!" Dumbass. |
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04-10-03, 10:03 AM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: C45E 878B
i think the flow goes good. words are alright. next time drag ur meaning out longer. still keep it up
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04-12-03, 08:32 PM | #6 | ||||||
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
u need some work...a lot of work
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