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07-27-02, 02:49 PM | #1 | ||||||
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"a Breathing Carcass"
IP: ADEC 56AC
Have you ever felt that you were
at the bottom of the food chain? Why did God give us nerves to feel so much pain? Feeling those rigid jaws chewing, Nibbling my precious, unstylish body With claws that slash through my flesh The only sound is my screaming Becoming? A breathing carcass ¼ of myself is missing As the Earth lies there and watches The beast and I are silhouetted like two lovers in the murky shadows I’m dying But the pain does not cease The beast devours my body and all its wealth And I chant…… I chant death Can you picture this torment? My body paralyzed, my mouth glutted with blood Only to cover my screams My screams… |
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07-28-02, 07:45 AM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: 849D 0AEB
wow, where did dis shit come from ... dope/
u got mad talent boo no doubt/ U got so many ideas ... and they all came out prue illness .. We should collab some time .. holla ~1~ |
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07-28-02, 11:51 AM | #3 | ||||||
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IP: ADEC 56AC
ight dimond no doubt i feel u on dat and thnx 4 always givin me da luv uno.
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07-29-02, 11:33 AM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: ADEC 56AC
keep uppin!!!!!!!1
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07-30-02, 03:48 PM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: F8DE F595
damn synickle...this is a great example that poetry doesnt need to rhyme to be good...
...a very deep and powerful piece in its own sense...and some of the lines...like: As the Earth lies there and watches The beast and I are silhouetted like two lovers in the murky shadows I’m dying were excellent...at times breathtaking in there own right... Well all i can say is...this piece HAS MOST DEF hit hard and deep...i feel you for sure on this...how one can become become soul-less and whatnot...becoming one with death and whatnot...well i aint going to go any further... but damn - seriously, you really do have some game going there...you have the variation, the ability to capture the pure essence of what you are depicting, usage of vocab is excellent, and you let your artistic 'vision' not be dicated too much by the structure and what not.. keep em coming...i'll read more later (probably tomorrow)... ...respect... |
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07-30-02, 06:23 PM | #6 | ||||||
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IP: ADEC 56AC
thanx man keep uppin ppls!!!
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07-30-02, 07:03 PM | #7 | ||||||
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IP: D397 6F44
yo i owe you you reply to my peices so im here to make up for some lost replies for you
The beast devours my body and all its wealth And I chant…… I chant death that peice wa smy fave short and structured poem but that bar wa slike hmmm kinda creepy feelin ya no definty a nice lil poem you got there and il be lookin for more whenver im on this site nice poem ther syn shaynea |
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07-30-02, 07:26 PM | #8 | ||||||
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IP: ADEC 56AC
nuttin but luv
KEEP UPPIN!!! |
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