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10-17-05, 02:22 PM | #1 | |||
1926
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"Conformities Puppet"
IP: 28AD 5545
Lifeless minds Dance a Thread of Sanity.
Insinuating a Fact, as a Truth falls short... And Wings of Justice, crippled by Persecution. Children of an Empire; Hell, embrace the Serpents Serrated whispers. He Conveys a subliminal until Manifest, and the Weight of the World... placed in the Black hands of Perched Crows. The Marionette never questions. They know not of their Power. Smile with glee as the Noose Forms. Manipulated from the bowels of Darkness, Strings reach from below rather than above. As the Puppet to sin Reaches for help... A Strand of Identity is used to Whip the Muteness. The devil's hand Punished for its insolence, Strangled by Self... The Dark Samurai has failed. Spits the tongues of a Dammed Soul. Satan pays no mind to his Tangled Creation. But rather Twists a Web of Lies upon Another. He giggles, "Ah, To Improve On Damnation." As his last Child dances the Ashes of Regret. A new body dangles lifeless from Hell, until Lucifer presses a Sinful Kiss upon his forehead. This one Born Anew... This Fucking Sock Puppet, unaware he is to be the symbol of Evil Incarnate. |
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10-17-05, 05:53 PM | #2 | |||||
A Life Of Chryme
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IP: 28AD 5545
Wow another fucking dope piece..i envy you
ok lol off that homo shit...you had some dope vocab...a complex piece that lost me with the complexityness..<--- if thats a word, anyways ur concept ....i was diggin it...and you had dope imagery and emotion....kinda skeptical on if i liked it overall...nah all jokes this was dope 8/10 keep at it....rtf on something...maybe a battle in a couple days...1
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A LIFE OF CHRYME |
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10-17-05, 06:54 PM | #3 | |||||
The Paragraph President
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IP: 1F19 D2B9
I liked this one a lot better then the other one I just read, this one is a little bit longer and it gave me a touch of what you were writin about. the emotion is really good, the flow is really good as well, but the imagery just blew me away. the emotion gives me that taste as well. Your vocab was really consistant and just got my intensions locked wit readin it all. so overall I say you did very good this straight up deserves a nomination man.
1
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10-19-05, 01:48 PM | #4 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: 11AF 50EC
holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!lol *jaw dropz* damn ANOTHA good piece from Mr.Atticus lol..........
but fo real........good vocab, ya imagery was HELLA good; flow was awesome......erything bout dis poem was DOPE...damn hit me up bout a collab sometime......1 |
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10-19-05, 04:23 PM | #5 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: 7419 CC76
The people above me stated the obvious and I'll just repeat it
You have a very personal and intruiging writing style in fact, concept was once again interesting to read and managed to keep the reader's attention all the way through. Vocabulary is on point, emotion is definitely there. You used excellent images to express the theory in those words or ideas. Nice poem
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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10-19-05, 04:46 PM | #6 | |||||||
©
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IP: EF8A C533
fuck me dawg thats PURE dope
*speechless* |
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