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Old 12-05-03, 04:07 AM   #1
snakeyes
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broke with no hope

IP: 5A4B 6334

yo, let me tell you were i come from deep down and real/
truth so sweet, it be an orange waiting to get pealed/
these downtown streets in l.a you gotta feel/
were people find the concrete mighty tasty lookiin fo a meal/
as i search for a derection, fucked up when fu's hit dat inasection/
like a fork on a road, my mind stuck cold not knowing were to go/
just gettin high and see humanity flow to this sad show/
get ya tickets right in the front row, miserable character like moe/
neva seeing beyond, just fu's seeing fu's back forth on dat dope/
they faces tell tha whole story of no hope tug of war./
world spins while we still deep in tha crust headin for da core/
trying to still find dat way out, but da system has us fo shure/
in their grasp, running a lapse around the city were love is shitty/
people around the west part of l.a show no pitty/
fuckin woods have it all while we suffer like da needy/
scraps for breakfast and leftovers for diner../
so fuck da rich and tha hilton sisters, cuz i look like thiner/
everyday i feel a fucked up demeanor cuz othas live from our misfurtunes and no way i cant bring it cleaner/
i'll be waiting for hell to be over cuz i still be a fucking beaner/
to them and all they friends at starbucks can get to barrels full of led from my sawed off shot gun, quickly i be gone/
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Old 12-05-03, 08:51 AM   #2
Maven
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reply to three other open mics, and post links to the replies, or this gets deleted.
thanks
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she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis
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Old 12-05-03, 10:38 AM   #3
....BaSh....
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This was aight...Content was aight , rhyme scheme was nice , wordplay was aight but u need to up your vocab and multis
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Old 12-05-03, 12:17 PM   #4
Amarant
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Nice drop, but i thought the structure could have been better, jus up ur vocab and u shud be alright.
nice wordplay and content.
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