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Old 10-03-05, 01:52 AM   #1
Incineratedrose
To The Ground...
 
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Posts: 3,332
Joined: Oct 2004
From: Arizona.
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Fighting For A Good Cause.

IP: 889B CC97

Consumed. Depression. Repression. Emotions.
She stole away into the night, victimized heart of erosion,
Fetal contortions, shook her world, she was religious… Blasphemy,
Now she’s getting the shaft, pushed through the cracks…
…Due to an addition to the family.
She was told that it was “excited”. She’d be a big sister!
But that proved wrong, and lead the cuts in her wrists further,
They ignored her, and she had no one to talk to anymore,
So she waltzed down the wrong path, but she adored this door,
That led to another world, and more, she was happy every time…
She would catch the slightest glimpse of his smile in the lunch line,
But there was this one boy, who followed, under his breath. Cussing,
She ignored him although she senses infatuation, but he meant nothing.




He ran after the girl, began to scrawl on the wall, down the street,
Struggling to follow, would she accept him, or call him a freak?
Was he a freak? Would he ever have a chance with such a beauty?
Or was she the freak? By seeking perfection, stuck up and snooty,
But he loved this girl, he wanted her so bad, and stalked her,
But why would she love him back, what did he have to offer?
She wanted happiness, he wanted her… what a combination,
But sadly, his compensation exceeded his determination.
He knew what she wanted, he knew what she needed.
She needed Derrick, if she was to stop bleeding,
He wrote her a note that one day, confessing his love doubtfully,
It read: “I want you to be happy, even if it has to be without me”
She returned the note, and had etching in the bottom with a black pen,
How she couldn’t be with him, she needed someone else to be happy again.

He had opened the note, chocking on the pen smudged writing,
It hurt, but this was his good cause, hell, this is why he was fighting,
The plan had worked; his ideas unfolded how he had plotted,
Because Jane was finally happy, and that’s all he ever wanted.
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Old 10-03-05, 08:22 AM   #2
KriZ
Middle Weight
 
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From: Virgin Islands
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Text Record: 1-3
IP: 9E82 E784

This was good to me liked the vocab in it and it kinda flowed in my head good Lol. Good shit, keep it up.
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Old 10-03-05, 12:49 PM   #3
Kawn Flixx
FUCK STROBE
 
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Joined: Aug 2003
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Text Record: 70-13
IP: 31C2 62EB

Drop two links to two OM's you have left feedback on
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Old 10-10-05, 12:34 AM   #4
Magic5
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I'll up this not only because I am sexy, but because this was good.

WORD.
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Old 10-10-05, 07:51 AM   #5
gladbag
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IP: CF74 5D3A

all wow this was nice and the story kept on flowing liking what this about and you manage to make it intense also vocab out the roof also keep up the good work nice imagetry i can see all this happening
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