Battle Rules:

20 Lines Max
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

Topic-the day it all changed




Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 12-07-04 at 06:00 PM

Must drop verse in 1440 minutes after check in.

Old / expired battle win-close

C-Bo has ACCEPTED this battle on 12-06-04 06:01 PM.

Kein Witz has ACCEPTED this battle on 12-06-04 06:09 PM.

The Day it All Changed...

Eyes closed, grasping the nightlight sleep merely.
Alone trying not to see who's in the seat near me.
My thoughts reap tyranny and darkness owns the scenery.
The lights were out and night was feeling free.
Looked to see who's seeing me, only saw my shadow.
Couldn't believe the meaning but I had to know...
Mourned a sad show like the black crow on my shoulders;
It told stories with cold verbs and high smoulders.
He was straight forward with rolled curves telling fears,
Insight was his forte his words had me expelling tears.
Mentally awkward and weird, needing expected rest.
It's becoming too intense wrecking this perfect mess;
The thoughts turned reality within a search for stress.
I looked for home as birds perched nests, murking sense.
A faltered mind transformed lurking pest in need of a-cid;
I died three weeks ago, coincide my last wish.

Shattered my image, end life with cursed fists
Martyr the birth less, coincide my first wish...

this is crazy, the comfort that ive owned, it is fading
somethings changed, its coldness now, the warmth is invaded
im being taken from my nest and my love and enjoyment
hands grip me like a pencil, my struggling is pointless
somethings pulling me away, so much pressure and grinding
and on release, im blinded, stabbing lights strike my iris
and now that i reached where it is that im getting to
im having trouble breathing and the pain is unbearable
and once i catch my breathe all i do is act hysterical
and look around and see all these people that i never knew
so they all hold me down, now i know theres a problem
cause one of them is cutting me with a sharpened object
now i know that they cut me, i can tell somethings missing
but my bodys been numb from all this shit that its witnessed
they put me in some strange clothes, bring me to a new place
its like a whole new world, but everything exudes hate
and after years of misery with everything thats wrong
i still curse that day, man... that day that i was born

__________________


Net Record(56-9)

RV Record(13-3)

Overall Record
69-12

MILK!

Good drop. Ready 4 votes. Or else I'll eat your baby.

come on yall...................................any votes?

__________________


Net Record(56-9)

RV Record(13-3)

Overall Record
69-12

Uppin'............................................

uppin again............................................

__________________


Net Record(56-9)

RV Record(13-3)

Overall Record
69-12

Voted For: C-Bo

I gotta say...aight topical battle, but 20 lines is too short...

C-Bo's rhymes, well some of them dont rhyme, but I believe it edged kein's with the vocab and it's incitefulness, both verses flowed just fine and both verse's structure was good. I do think both of you guys can improve on some of the stretched lines though. Overall C-Bo gets my vote with overall a more inciteful verse. Though both of you did a good job.

__________________

thanx for votin........................................i'm up 1-0............uppin

__________________


Net Record(56-9)

RV Record(13-3)

Overall Record
69-12

^ Seriously too short. I had a whole story down, and then I saw the limit...

Voted For: Kein Witz

This was an overall good batle but im goin to have to give this one to ..........
I really like the flow to both verses
there was a nice touch to C-BO flow but it still could have been a little better with the wordplay, Nice sructure to both verses, KEVIN had some GREAT line too
i really liked his flow but ur metas werent visible but punchlines were sick
nice battle


-Please return the favor on my battle
I know its a lil weak but its ok
Please return the favor
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=163680

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

__________________
<marquee> .:: Verbal Reformtory::. </marquee>

...........................uppin.................. ...........

__________________


Net Record(56-9)

RV Record(13-3)

Overall Record
69-12