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Old 09-24-05, 12:46 PM   #1
noname
Coming to Kill you All
 
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Hell On Earth

IP: D39A A4B1

From a topical Battle I had a while back.Decided to get some more feed over here.

HELL ON EARTH


lookin out my window...unbearably..at that sickening nightmare
flames imbursin the streets...the skies red..with an eerie light's glare
took a step outside..lookin at the sky..seein strange figures soarin
chains and thorns attached to bodies..wit their distinctive roarin
cars were flipped upside down..and bodies were layin all around
leavin me with a sense of fear...but I had to stay from the redound
but somehow..everything happenin to me seemed intimate to me
like i stood here before..or it's all been transmitted in dreams
it was hell on earth...but wit the opposition unseen..it was odd
WHERE were the defenders?..the celestial angels?......WHERE WAS GOD?
WHY would he leave us here to die?..WHy would he just abandon us?
Didn't he deserve all our trust?..all i see is darkness...no lust...
all I believed in..all i put my heart n soul in..left us in affliction
cuz the truth raised it's ugly head today..that it was all fiction
but then..i saw..a strange...yet familar figure in the distance
i knew who it was..lucifer..the devil trying to diminish our existance
skin red from head to toe..with no clothes..& appearance in trandition
a smile from ear to ear...due to his sense of accomplishing his mission
i reached in my jean..a gat unvealed..and emptied bullets from wesson
but no avail..he stood there....grinnin with his grimace expression
i turned around..ran...but stopped when I saw wat was coming
a huge inferno of flame..movin to me..wit no chance of me shunning
it was like a tidal wave..stretching towards the heavens..arisingly
a tear rolled down my cheeks..as i heard lucifer's laughter behind of me
there was nothing left...it was over..armaggedon..i couldn;t save it
hell's done taken over the world that I loved..and the world that i hated
i shut my eyes..n felt the heat pass through..with the foul scent
my life n the world itself...reaching a sadden n bitter denoument
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Old 09-24-05, 12:50 PM   #2
noname
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Old 09-24-05, 09:25 PM   #3
noname
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uuuuuuuuuppppppppppiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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Old 09-24-05, 10:42 PM   #4
Dickard.
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weird, looks familiar lol....um yea this piece is iight....vocab is deff. there felt your structure helped create a good flow.....your story line was on topic....not too creative but didnt lack much overall 7.5/10 keep doin ya thing......
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Old 09-24-05, 10:47 PM   #5
HiPnoTiK
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yoo good drop in my opinion..... had a nice flow to it and the vocab was iight.... made me see what was going on 8/10
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Old 09-25-05, 11:01 AM   #6
noname
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thx for the feed....uppin for some more.
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Old 09-26-05, 12:42 AM   #7
Christianite
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good drop man, emtion and imagery were awesome and the best things i saw, everything else was good too but those really stood out, nice drop, keep it up
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Old 09-26-05, 01:40 AM   #8
Lay-z
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nice drop Nat..could have a lil more vocab but it was ight, and flow was nice, structure was good, and topic was on point through-out...overall nice drop natural..

plz peep 16 pills..
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Old 09-26-05, 06:07 PM   #9
noname
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I'll RTF later 2night.........
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Old 09-26-05, 08:01 PM   #10
Hitchcock
 
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this joint was ok. you had real good structure and nice flow in there. there was some real nice imagery in there which helped you your picture what you were trynna create.
overall this was a good piece. i give it an 8.5/10 keep doin ya thing.
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Old 09-27-05, 08:08 AM   #11
noname
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thx...I'll RTF on one ya OM's in sig....
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Old 09-27-05, 07:51 PM   #12
Ryda
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it was good nice flow and structure and good vocab
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Old 09-28-05, 12:55 PM   #13
Big_O
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Wasnt half bad dog i give it 8/10 nice job keep it up
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Old 09-28-05, 08:56 PM   #14
PreZidict
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feelin the concept forreal, but overall u had real good structure.....vocab.....imagery.....and flow, shit was tight as hell i wish i could do topicals lol

8/10

scream at my shit too
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