please read it and leave me ur comments:


im in a free world, but i feel like im trapped in a cell
im tryna get outta this hell, but only time will tell
i can feel my knuckles swell, cause im on the grind for rell
im on the grind tryna collect green bills but if i use my rap skills
i can find out were i belong, i just need to stay strong
n i can never go wrong, ill use my instint, no time to think
no time to blink, if my eyes shut ill sink, i cant sleep
all i think about is: the streets, n my mission for next week
im moving that work, thru the dirt, blood on my face but it dont hurt
its gettin harder to hustle tryna get rid of the struggle
theres blood on my knuckles but im tryna stay outta trouble
this grind is hectic, if u gave me doller, then i spent it
i make no mistakes, i do watever it takes, movin shit at a fast pace
i began at a low base, so gimme my space cause i need to embrace
i leave no trace to the place i spark, like a walk to the park
this shits easy, cause im greazy, believe me, my work aint cheesy

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=228467

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=228469

Straight Shit, Not Bad Dawg...stay Up.

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ok this really has no point of being here.... it should be in freestyles.... and no its not bad. but it aint that good either.... keep elevating kidd. ull make it to glory road one day.

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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father.

uppin this shit

a lil feedback plz

it was aite, sorta cliche topic, work on imagery and usin a bigger vocabulary. stay up and do ya thing

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kickin dem dumb cuts, ill put a foot in yuh, sucka
N you kno im on tha come up, so look for muh, bruva

thanx for the feedback u 3,

more feedback plz

ok to be honest, this rook-basic. very simple rhymin'. so after the 4th line, i just skimmed through. then i read your last line "this shits easy, 'cause i'm greasy"....? that's an obvious filler and attempt to just "rhyme" without any real reason of why "this shits easy". Don't do that. one thing i learned that's been the most helpful is to make EVERY line count. don't write 16 lines with only 8 good ones. work on vocab. multis. wordplay. metas. and flow. this verse was barbershop, real choppy. also from what i've seen, this site has some actually pretty good tutorials form everything i just said. wanna get better? observe some elite heads here......and do the tutorials. - A Skyll.

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