Set Me Free

I wanna fly like birds just gettin by with simple words
i tried and heard i was good but still it seemed absurd
that rhymes could evoke emotion like broken oceans
which opened notions for me holding spoken emotions
man im just floatin damn i love it when im flowin
bust open with rhymes gleamin like a dime glowin
never slowin down constantly writing in rhymes
forever goin round after round like im fightin the time
light's in my mind searchin for the hidden truth
forbidden to shoot so pissed ima be hittin the roof
didnt let me show my proof man im grown to hoop
blew past u so fast and i didnt even own a coupe
hopefully i'll be set free by the rhymes buried in me
leavin debris its that time and i hope u ready for me

quick, i thought it was nice, tell me how u feel.

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2653833
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2653859

Really really short, but i liked it, u had good metaphors, your emotion was meh and your imagery was good due to the metaphors, your vocab was nice, and i think i saw some multis in their somewhere, only thing i would tell you to do is make this longer. 1

Thanks man, yea i kno its short but it just came to me quick.

1 or 2 lines seemed to be a syallable off ... but this flowed very well I liked it... structured pretty solidly as well... Nice read a good just letting it fly kinda verse... good shit... Holla at me we might need ta collab sometime... 1

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Aight man, will do man, defenitely, ive read some of ur stuff and its good.

pretty decent rhymescheme... good flow, the lyrics were ok, pretty decent concept overall.. keep doing your thing fam.

1

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This was ok, your imaginary and your emotion was ok, write more and you'll be better. The one thing that caught my eye was the metaphors..Very good.

I wanna fly like birds just gettin by with simple words
i tried and heard i was good but still it seemed absurd
that rhymes could evoke emotion like broken oceans
which opened notions for me holding spoken emotions

Pretty much sums the metaphors part, your flow was cool but like the other dude said your syllable is off, but that don't mean nothing right now, just keep writing.

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mystery Is a Freak!!

ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life.
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