I remember when I met her, I was 7 years old
a young wide eyed, hopeful, optimistic snot nose
I'd sit back, listen to her and lose touch with the world
put my soul on the table, let it unfold and unfurl
she remained, through every struggle and strife
little did I know she'd be the love of my life
but I can still remember the moment I fell for her
you see, when I was comin' up we were broke as fuck
but she stood by my side and said "Keep Ya Head Up"
It was then that I knew, with her I just wanted to be
cuz she was the only person I ever knew as free
and that was what she set me
see, I could, run to her during my darkest hour
and confide my deepest secrets with no thoughts to ever cower,
away, or be afraid, she'd console me with every word she sang
but things change
it musta been a business man who told her
that she could make money if she'd let these clowns get a hold of her
she left me, and I was forced to watch her
roll through the city with these gimmicky cats that didnt want her
they just want her for her loot and her ass
so they'd harass, and spit on her name for quick cash
now I see her on occasion, wearing a blue mink coat to compliment her black eye
as she returns to her abuser, while all I can do is turn my face and cry
but one day, I promise to make this shit stop
stop them from rapin'.... my beautiful, Hip Hop


H.ip Hop in its
E.ssence is
R.eal

nice piece...... do u have any aliases? Lil C(Chip), same avatar, same name of the poem i just wrote....... hmmmmmmmmmm...... i don't know who u are, but it doesn't really matter. nice poem; good structure and okay flow..... i liked the play off the 2pac song. it looks like u put commas whenever there's a pause in the flow....... i used to do that, and can tell u from experience that it makes your piece harder to read. work on your rhyme scheme (if your next piece rhymes) and u should be okay.... overall 8/10
-The Ghetto Dr. Seus, Chip

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"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..."
-Konchance

my poetry:
untitled

yea dat is a lil weird but oh well its all good; lol but thanx fo da feed n dis wasnt really made to rhyme or nething it was just fo fun

Common - I used to love H.E.R

You can change the wording all you want.

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ROFL.... I never thought someone could bite that common song concept and make it shit..

But thats exactly what you did..