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Old 12-11-03, 08:33 PM   #1
Menik
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Corrupted Visions: Club Rollin (Feat: Gene Pool)

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http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...0707#post980707
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=98129
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=97971


Gene Pool - yo man we gonna party tanight or what?!
Masta C - ya for fuckin sure!
Gene Pool - damn dawg I’m gonna be so drunk and baked outta ma mind
Masta C - yea gonna be fuckin sweet
Gene Pool - yo man turn in right here and find a place to park
(music shuts off sound of car doors closing and then locking)
Masta C - yo lets paaaaaaaarrrtttttaaaayyyyyyy! Ha ha!

Gene Pool:
I walked into the club, and first thing I do? I call out to masta/
ayo! I’m gettin tha fuck away from u ya tool, but of course I’m kiddin/
walkin away and luaghin wit a smile on my face, I pulled out a joint/
laced with that sweet smelling taste, spark one, spark two/
spark a third, and hell I got 4 bitches passin around some extra herb/
guess I won’t be havin to put no faces to the curb, cuz for once/
I’m enjoyin my burn, with a mix of baccardi, and tha whiskey/
flippin these fucka’s who don’t like it tha bird, yea, it may be absurd/
but fuck what they think, cuz I got 4 bitches who I’m about to take/
to a private place, and I’m sure u ppl can think, of a reason of quick escape/

Masta C:
We come rolling up bumping with some good music playing…
We see all the hunnies while all this booze is spraying…
And my crew is saying “Damn we gonna get it on tonight”..
Go stepping inside but all anyone wants to do is spawn two fights..
But my senses have drawn delight when I turn my head…
I see this hunnie eye’n me up and she really burns in red..
I give her a wink and something to drink, and start a convo..
Shes not your average blonde hoe she has a grace of a swan though..
I cant help but smile at her style cause shes looking so fine..
Putting the moves on cant go wrong cause theres no time…
But she resists my charm and just completely blows me off…
She storms away and Im like baby come back, shows im soft..
But I down a few drinks and you think that I would just stop..
No not me, cause I love her body, start a convo and I don’t bust slop..
I just play it cool and shes like just say it fool, so I tell the lady…
I want you tonight, she says alright,…..so well this maybe-…
Turned out to be good…cause I got the lady of my dreams..great..
Now im looking for gene thinking hey wheres my team mate..

Gene Pool:
4 girls and one guy, god damn I’m glad I ain’t shy, only sly/
but yo I give these bitches what they want, a good time, and bust a nut/
but no worries, cuz I came back, to slam a few shots and a beer/
all this weed and alcohol got me geared, it’s then that things became weird/
started havin double vision, tryin to rethink all my quick decisions/
but it’s then things got out of hand, and I started flippin/
I juss ran up on the dance floor, grappled some dude/
threatenin his ass to give me the answers, ended up headbuttin tha fool/
then there I was, dazed an confused, the bouncers rushed in, to give me a tune/
and I rememba sayin, “ayo! what the fuck u tryin ta do?!” then came punches/
the ol 1, 2, and a few boots, to the bitches who tried to toss me an ma crew/
and it wasn’t long, till all hell brought the shit on, tables and chairs bein tossed/
punks and bouncers mixed in with the brawl, and the only thought was not to get caught/
so I got masta, and got the fuck out, with the doors unlocked/
we drove off and cashed da fuck out, of that club rockin a bout/
and we found ourselves, back at our house, still drinkin/
cuz the real party, was juss down tha block, yo fuck sleepin/
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Old 12-11-03, 08:38 PM   #2
Gene Pool
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yo peeps juss ta let u know this piece was keyed in like 20 minutes so leave us some feedback. muchly appreciated thanx in advance peace.
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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

<center>Corrupted Visions</center>

<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>
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Old 12-11-03, 09:50 PM   #3
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Yo This Piece was Nicely Done......Gene Ya Structure was off in Bits But i was Still good...Ya Flow was good......The Topic Kicked Ass...Ya Had Multis.......ya Started it off nicely.......And Ya FInished it betta...
Masta C Ya Structure Kills Its allways good You ALways Have Multis..Ya Flow was Nice......Ya Followed Gene Nicely...ya keep Ya Flow Going .....All and all you Guys Did Well And And I Liked the Read Thats why i read it twice......CoRrUpTeD vIsIoNz Reprezent....

-{/]~{Ú§kÍ}~[\}-
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Old 12-12-03, 04:05 AM   #4
Menik
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Hey Thanks For The Feedback So Far, Keep The Feedback Coming In, Its Much Appreciated, Thanks.
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Old 12-12-03, 08:41 PM   #5
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masta's verse was extremely nice good multis the flow was on point for sure and a nice rhyme scheme.

gene pool had good internals through out which kept the flow steady also nice rhyme scheme but i felt the content was a little to jumpy -1
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Old 12-13-03, 04:37 PM   #6
Menik
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Hey Thanks For The Feedback So Far, Keep The Feedback Coming In, Its Much Appreciated, Thanks.
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Old 12-13-03, 05:43 PM   #7
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was aight, sorta reminded me of what alot of mainstreamers are doin now..but you refrained from using 3 word rhymes and executed dope vocab throught....the flow was average, could have used more internals, and the bar length was suprisingly long...

Concept was o.k as i said, would be good as a single..lol....

3/5 - not my type of thing..but thats no reason to give it any less than 3!
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Old 12-13-03, 06:36 PM   #8
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flow was pretty good, kinda choppy in some parts, nice concept
needs work on vocab tho, it was a good read overall, nice verses from both of ya, didnt like the intro tho, im posting my pece today masta
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Old 12-14-03, 03:34 AM   #9
Menik
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Hey Thanks For The Feedback So Far, Keep The Feedback Coming In, Its Much Appreciated, Thanks.
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Old 12-16-03, 12:09 AM   #10
Gene Pool
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yo peeps thanx for the feedback. in my personal opinion though I din't like this piece that much well for my part anyways. I know I could write better juss wasn't really feelin the topic when I was writin it. was juss basically throwin some shit up together. but thanx again for those who have left feedback. and if anyone else wants to contribute feel free to do so. thanx in advance. peace.
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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

<center>Corrupted Visions</center>

<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>
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Old 12-16-03, 12:21 AM   #11
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u could say because i'm a newbie but i think the shit is trash no direspect to anyone but i think that it was waste of a thread i don't like anything about it but thats just me
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Old 12-16-03, 12:22 AM   #12
$money$clip$
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hey nice piece, i like the plot, i like the flow, nice piece, holla back playboy
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Old 12-16-03, 12:25 AM   #13
Mr.Christensen
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lol you guys are fucking hilarious...i loved this shit

the whole time im hearing a down south beat...big booty hoes left and right...this was cracking me up...

masta got the ladies...

LOL

Word
-Masta

Last edited by The Realist : 12-16-03 at 12:36 AM.
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