RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 06-29-08, 08:49 PM   #1
Germ
in your system
 
Posts: 7,619
From: Adanac
It's a beautiful noise

IP:

in that orange horizon, you can hear thunder in the distance
the storms rushing near, and my heartbeat starts to quicken
there's life in those raindrops, if you stop and listen closely
its music for the mind and the rhythm always leaves me feeling so free

i could sit forever, staring at those rainclouds
wondering what its like to be there on the way down
not knowing for sure, but hoping somewhere there's a heaven
and if it rains the day i die, i couldn't ask for a better ending
pure like a child's eyes, comfort like your own bed
the memory of sunshine, and there's always better days ahead
a steady melody in the raindrops, listening to the downpour
breathing in that freedoms like the rush of a bound horse
its a cycle of renewal, the clouds burst with wisdom
i turn those raindrops to jewels, in my own perfect kingdom
my head fills with visions, i flash back to last fall
afternoon showers and reddened leaves falling on the asphalt
spring flowers in their beds, covered by a blanket of drizzle
stuck gazing at an endless lake as every raindrop has a ripple
sitting at a window, the soft patter is all my cause for peace
as the summer rains, come in waves and wash away the grief
i could sit forever, staring at those rainclouds
knowing exactly what is i have to do to stay proud
the sky is a garden, and i'm a level-headed florist
those raindrops are music, and i'll never stop singing the chorus

_______________________________________
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3219854
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3219856
__________________



this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish



FLY FREE
Send a message via AIM to Germ Send a message via MSN to Germ   Reply With Quote
Old 06-30-08, 12:58 AM   #2
Ysdat
Whys That?
 
Posts: 2,007
IP:

in that orange horizon, you can hear thunder in the distance
the storms rushing near, and my heartbeat starts to quicken
there's life in those raindrops, if you stop and listen closely
its music for the mind and the rhythm always leaves me feeling so free

^this is nice, but you could of left out 'always' and 'feeling'. Just helps it flow a lot better bro.

The rest of this is solid as fuck, its not a topical verse, its more like a verse ready to record.

i like the emotion in it, and the smooth metas. Vocab isnt to extensive, but meh, fuck it. This is good.

Stay dropping.


pz
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-30-08, 04:39 AM   #3
Kirk
Peace, Love, Unity
 
Posts: 5,455
IP:

That was really good. Didn't need crazy vocab. to keep me reading, had good progression to it. Quite a few lines stuck out, that were really sick. But overall it was a killer drop, KEEP IT UP. Barn.
__________________


88 miles per hour should do it.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-30-08, 10:28 AM   #4
Lay.
don't try.
 
Posts: 991
From: Above you.
IP:

I liked the closer, an my style always incorporates multi's..so I was diggin the flow. You had some vocab, it fit the flow of the verse. Your imagery was on point, it kept me readin. Overall this was a nice drop. Which are to few an far inbetween in the om forum.
__________________
Fear
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-01-08, 03:50 AM   #5
Also Known.
 
Posts: 1,529
From: Sacramento, CA
IP:

that was sick! you should turn it into a song with a dope beat that has rain and thunder rolls. nice imagery! if you make a song i'd collab this is fire homie
__________________

THE TRUTH IS I'M BETTER THAN YOU
Send a message via AIM to Also Known.   Reply With Quote
Old 07-01-08, 04:43 AM   #6
XM
Within Eternity's Wither
 
Posts: 405
From: VA/GA
IP:

I'll leave feed when i get off of work.
__________________
crhyme sindicate
Open Mic Hall Of Famer
Send a message via AIM to XM Send a message via Yahoo to XM   Reply With Quote
Old 07-01-08, 08:40 PM   #7
LPMNDCTE
New Jack
 
LPMNDCTE's Avatar
 
Posts: 374
IP:

yep, this was a cool piece..

this story painted a vivid picture in my mind and was compose pretty well. I enjoyed this piece because it grabbed my attention and kept it for the most part...
__________________
LPMNDCTE


The B.E.S.T. Crew






..................
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:03 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.