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05-04-05, 08:20 PM | #1 | ||||
vanquising Mc's Daily
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1000 ways to waste time
IP: A4D1 8588
Add up a series of numbers your social security number, your date of birth, your telephone number, to see if the total is divisible by seven
Add up your debts Annoy a friend Argue with a colleague about who is the best football quarterback ever Arm wrestle with a colleague Arrange a protest march for a cause you believe in Arrange a seating plan for the office Arrange to meet a friend in the washroom to chat Arrange unpaid bills by date order Arrange your next vacation from work Ask a friend to help you make your own list of wasteful tasks Ask colleagues to show you photos of their last vacation Ask your boss for new office furniture Ask your grandpa what grandma was like when she was young Avoid stepping on the gaps between sidewalk paving stones during your lunch break Balance a pen, pencil, knife, and fork across your index finger Balance on one leg of your chair Begin to work out your family tree Blow paper at colleagues through a straw Blow up a paper bag and burst it behind a friend Blow your own imaginary trumpet Blow your own trumpet Blubber your lips with your fingers, making bub, bub, bub noises Boil water and make a cup of tea Bore your friends by explaining how to draw an equilateral triangle that contains three right angles Borrow a pen from someone in another Borrow something from someone and forget to return it Braid your hair Break your diet Bring a violin case to work for a week and carry it with you wherever Browse through Roget's Thesaurus Brush back your hair with your left hand Build a ladder of good intentions to Heaven Build a house of cards Build a model Eiffel Tower using toothpicks Build a model of the white House from old cigarette packs Cacuate how much money you spend on average each day Calculate all the money you have spent in your life so far Calculate how long it would take you and three friends to build a major road Calculate how long it would take you to read a twenty-volume encyclopedia Calculate how many minutes you have been alive Calculate how many seconds there are in one year Calculate how much better off you were last year Calculate how much money you spend each year Calculate what you would do if you had a million dollars Calculate which way is north of where you sit Calculate your age in days Calculate your annual budget Calculate your monthly expenses Call people rude names; then hide Call someone whose name begins with the letter "L" Call up someone you talked to last year Call up someone you talked to yesterday Carve miniature boomerangs f'rom paperboard and flick them at ends Carve your initials onto your desk Catch a cigarette in your mouth Challenge a colleague to a plant-growing race - see who can grow the tallest plant in three months Challenge the office assistant to a game of marbles Change the batteries in your radio Change the order of your keys on your key ring Change the proportions of your face Chat to a friend about your last date Chat to a workmate about the book you are reading Check all the illustration numbers in this book against their captions Check share values in an old newspaper (maybe one ten years old) to see whyt changes have occurred Check share values in the newspaper Check the classified ads in the paper to see if there is anything you need Check to be sure your money is not counterfeit Check your answers for yesterday's crossword puzzle Check your house price from the real estate advertisements in the local paper Check your make-up in a small mirror Check your underarms for body smells Check your waist measurement Chew a match Chew a toffee Chew the end of a ballpoint pen Christmas dinner party Clean out the sleep from your eyes Clean out the supply closet Clean out vour ear with Q-Tip Clean out your wastepaper basket Clean up the mess after clearing out the hole punch Clean your comb Clean your fingernails Clean your hairbrush Clean your shoes Clear out the company medicine cabinet Clear out the hole punch Click your tongue to make a sound like galloping horses Close your eyes and imagine what it would be like to be blind Coin a phrase Color in the pattern on the facing page four colors or tints so no two abutting araeas have the same color Color squares on graph paper Comb your hair down Compare yourself to earlier photographs Conduct a marching band while humming and chatting Conduct an imaginary orchestra Conjugate ten verbs Console a colleague Construct a fictitious resume for yourself Construct a theory for the location of your soul Construct elaborate geometric patterns, then color them in with colored pencils Construct elaborate patterns using circles Construct your company's organizational tree Consult a book to interpret your dreams Consult an oracle Contact someone on the computer system Convince someone that an African elephant has smaller ears than an Asian elephant Copy out your list of "tasks to do" again in a neat form Count how many pages are in this book Count television antennas from the window Count the buttons on your jacket Count the freckles on your face Count the freckles on your forearms Count the holes in your watch strap Count the number of checks left in your checkbook Count the number of matches in a box Count the number of Smiths in the telephone book Count the number of times "love" appears in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet Count the number ways to waste time on this page (added by Matt J.) Count the roof tiles on the nearest building Count the small change in your pockets or purse Count the stars Count the typographical errors in a newspaper Count the windows in the biggest building you can see from your window Count the words on this page Count your blessings Cover a sheet of paper with doodles Crack your knuckles Create a new cocktail for the office Christmas party Create shadow figures using your hands Cross and uncross your legs and practice your most impressive sitting position Cry to get sympathy from a friend or your boss Cultivate bangs (if you're a woman) Cut an envelope to make scrap paper Cut out heads from magazines and stick them on other bodies Cut out pictures from magazines Cut yourself some shoe liners from old cardboard Dance a jig Dance around the office with a colleague Daydream Decide how you are going to pay your debts this month Decide what style of topiary you would like in your garden Decide what you really want to do with your life Decide where to go on vacation in next year Decide which items on your "Things to do" list need doing Decide who you are going to pay this month Demonstrate a karate throw to a colleague Describe a journey to Britain on an old ship Describe the last days in the lives of the dinosaurs that made these fossils Describe to a colleague how you would explain to a child how a baby is made Describe what Lincoln might be thinkig if he were not a statue Design a new chair Design a new desk Design a new mode of transportation Design a new office notice board Design a stamp to commemorate your life Design an old postage stamp Design an outfit for anoffice toga party Design new office shelving Design yourself a new office Despair ! Devise your own coat of arms Devise your own ornamental device Dilute the error-correcting fluid Discuss Ludwig Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus with a workmate Distort a picture of you or a friend on the company photocopier Do skipping with an imaginary rope Do a "head-over-heels" Do a jigsaw puzzle upside down Do a magic trick in front of your colleagues Do a self-portrait using colored pencils Do absolutely nothing for five minutes Do exercises in your chair Do fifty push-ups Do sit-ups on the floor Do some exercises Do some kitting Do the same thing and see if it is divisible by three Doodle Doze in a chair Draw a cartoon of a close friend Draw a cyclops step-by-step Draw a funny picture of your family Draw a map of Europe from memory Draw a map of your town ti Draw a Ouija board and try to contact the original chairperson of your company Draw a totem pole using the faces of colleagues and friends Draw boxes and triangles in the margins of books Draw cartoons Draw circles by tracing around the base of a bottle or cup Draw daisies in the margins of paper or a book Draw different types of lips and match them to workmates Draw faces on balloons Draw Frankenstein's monster Draw glasses on faces in today newspaper Draw lines across the contours of faces in magazines Draw mustaches onto photos in magazines Draw out your family tree Draw spectacles on photographs in newspapers Draw twenty circles on a sheet of paper and draw a different face in each one Draw up a two-month calendar and add special events Draw your favorite flower Draw your own profile Dream of possessing your loved one Dream of taking a ride on a dolphin Drum out a rhythm with your fingers During a phone conversation tell your loved one how devoted you are Each week, look at the backs of your hands for signs of aging Eat a candy with a noisy wrapper Eat strange food that will keep you awake all night and make you feel so tired that tomorrow you will fall asleep Eat your lunch with chopstics Eavesdrop Email any mistakes to the author (added by Matt J.) Empty your pockets Enact the sky between two airplanes, using your hands to describe the actions, and making machine gun noises with your mouth Estimate the cubic capacity of a container Estimate your total wealth Evaluate how much spare time you have each week to do nothing Exercise your tongue by trying to make it reach the tip of your nose Fall asleep at your desk Fall into a fit of rage Fall into a rage Fax a list of jokes to a friend Feed the birds outside the window Feel very angry about some trivial problem and talk about it endlessly to f'riends Fiddle with your earring Fight an imaginary Figure out how to catch the animals that escaped from the zoo Figure out how to make a 3-D icosahedron from paper Figure out how to use color in a map with the minimum number of colors so that no two adjacent areas are the same color Figure out how you would teach a bear to dance Figure out if you can climb through a playing card Figure out the height of your office building Figure out the largest single sum of money you ever earned Figure out the largest single sum of money you ever paid anyone Figure out the middle letter of the alphabet Figure out the plot for a novel Figure out what you would do locked in the bathroom without toilet paper Figure out what your enemies think of you Figure out what your friends think of you Figure out who is the shortest person in the office Figure out who is the tallest in your office Figure the relationship between extraterrestria forces, metaphysical forces, paranormal forces, and the orders of spiritual levels in Heaven and Hell Figure the values of half and half and half a number until you arrive at its twentieth value Fill in a crossword puzzle without using the clues Fill in earlier weeks in your office calendar Fill in every letter p on the facing page end avoid reading the text Fill in the teeth on the photographs of people in magazines Fill in your office calendar with things you would like to be doing Fill out the personal notes page of your office calendar Find a new friend Find a place to lie down in peace Find a secret space and play cards with your friends Find fault with everyone Find out how to adopt an animal at the zoo Find out the birthdays of all your collegues Find out what is on TV thais week Find out who borrowed your scissors and get them back Flick paper at friends Flip a coin to see who gets the coffee at break Fold and refold your handkerchief Fold brown paper into neat squares Frighten a friend Gaze at the clouds Get drunk Get everyone in the office to swap desks to confuse your boss Get someone's attention by kicking them in the backside Get very drunk Get your calculator to spell words Give up one of your favorite activities for a month so that you feel virtuous Go forth and preach Go out and buy a pack of cigarettes Go out and send a letter Go sit on the toilet Go to the bathroom Go visit your friends in the company and chat Greet a new employee Grow a mustache (if you're a man) Grow an unusual hairstyle Grow your hair into a new style Guess how much and then count the money in your pockets Guess the value of a dollar in a year's time Guess the weights of your f'riends Guess who will be the next US President Guzzle a pint of beer Hammer a nail in the wall to hang your coat on Have a cigarette Have a cold beer Have a snack Hire a fancy-dress outfit at lunch break and wear it all afternoon Hold your breath Hold your head in your hands Hold your right ear with your lett hand and your nose with your right hand, then hold your left ear with your right hand and your nose with your left hand, and repeat and repeat Hop on one leg along a straight line If you could return to earth as a celebrity, who would you be? Imagine a conversation in which your bank manager asks for your help Imagine a day in the life of a coach horse in nineteenth century England Imagine a discussion with a drunk Imagine a perfect murder Imagine an orgy Imagine an unlikely place to meet a friend Imagine an X-ray of your hand Imagine arriving for work in the US President's car Imagine being Adam and what you would have done on meeting Eve Imagine being a character in a novel Imagine being a slave asleep on a slave ship Imagine being bandaged alive and put in a mummy's coffin Imagine being eaten alive Imagine being Eve and what you would have done on meeting Adam Imagine being taken away by a superhero Imagine being taken away by King Kong Imagine being thin Imagine being very poor Imagine being very rich Imagine colleagues' reactions if you came to work dressed differently Imagine coming to work by elephant Imagine coming to work in a tank Imagine coming to work on your own orie-wheeled invention Imagine confronting an opponent riding an elephant on the battlefield Imagine doing a different job Imagine for what reason you would want to blow up the government offices Imagine Ginger Rogers inviting you to dance and waltz around the room Imagine having a conversation with Jesus Imagine having a howler monkey for a pet Imagine having a life as short as that of a butterfly Imagine having tea in China Imagine having to fight for your country hundreds of years ago Imagine having to fight in World War I Imagine having to fight in World War III Imagine having to go out and kill your lunch before you can cook and eat it Imagine having to migrate to reach a breeding ground Imagine having your boss just where you want Imagine how cold it must be to wear a kilt in winter Imagine how cold it would living in an igloo Imagine how long it would take to get to work on a horse Imagine how long it would take to write your own biography Imagine how sorry everyone will be when you are dead Imagine how to cope with being a werewolf Imagine how you would escape from being tied up Imagine how you would interview your boss for your job Imagine how you would look after being told you have got a raise Imagine how you would look after being told your raise doubles your salary Imagine how you would pick a fight with your friends Imagine life if you were as small as a cat Imagine making a living by loaning people money Imagine playing solitaire in a prison for thirteen years Imagine pressing hot kisses onto the one you love Imagine reading a diary of several past generations written by your greatgrandmother Imagine riding home through tragic on a penny-farthing Imagine standing next to the tallest tree in the world Imagine ten things you might buy on vacation Imagine the colors of fairies' wings Imagine the weight of an elephant's suit of armor Imagine the worst thing that could happen to you Imagine two whales making love in the ocean Imagine utter despair Imagine wearing a fifth-century metal helmet a day Imagine what child care is like for male seahorses Imagine what excuses you would make if caught in an embarrassing position Imagine what is "going on" next door Imagine what it is like in Heaven Imagine what it is like in Hell Imagine what it is like to have an operation without anesthetic Imagine what it would be like inside an iron maiden Imagine what it would be like to be a fish in the sea Imagine what people will be reading about in a year's time Imagine what style of beard you prefer Imagine what you will do between now and your retirement Imagine what you will do when you retire Imagine what you woud do with ultimate power Imagine what you would be like as your boss's boss Imagine what you would be worth if you had owned some successful shares for ten years Imagine what you would do if you had only one year to live Imagine what you would do if locked in a dungeon for twenty years Imagine what you would do if you got your toe stuck in the bathtub faucet Imagine what you would do if you had only one day to live Imagine what you would do if you had only one week to live Imagine what you would do if you were the richest person in the world Imagine what you would do if you were very, very ugly Imagine what you would do upon discovering someone you love has died Imagine what you would do with $100,000 Imagine what you would do with superhero powers Imagine what you would say in a message to space, trying to contact alien species Imagine what you would say to someone - a friend or relative - who returns from the dead Imagine what you would say to the Devil if you went to Hell Imagine whom you would torture if you owned a rack Imagine why you might have won an Oscar Imagine wild sexual positions Imagine wnat you would look with no hair Imagine working in a pit crew for a racing team Imagine working in a tower in a castle Imagine you are about to take off in the space shuttle Imagine you are floating in space Imagine you are in control of a major operation Imagine you are making love with Marilin Monroe (if you are a man) Imagine you are making love with Robert Redford (if you are a woman) Imagine Robert Redford and Marilyn Monroe making love together Imagine your boss as a piece of fruit Imagine your living room with new wallpaper Imagine your worst nightmare Imagine yourself in women's clothing (if you are a man) Imagine yourself as an artist painting your dream house Imagine zero gravity Imitate other people's way of walking Improve your ambidextrous skills Improve your whistling skills In the two pictures shown upside down against each other, figure out the differences Inform a colleague about the difference between a zubra and a zebra Invent new items for a later edition of this book Invent signals that you can send across a field Invent a caption for this picture Invent a conversation between Napoleon and Hitler Invent a conversation with a drunk parrot Invent a corresponaence with someone famous Invent a day in the life of a small dinosaur Invent a mechanical contraption to make the tea or coffee Invent a motto Invent a new animal using the characteristics of three existing ones Invent a new identity for yourself Invent a secret alphabet and write messages in it Invent a wonderful fancy costume Invent an office golf obstacle course Invent an unusual fancy-dress costume Invent characters for a novel Invent families for these people Invent imaginary creatures Invent new monsters and creatures on paper and give them collegues’ names Invent personalities for each of the people in this picture Invent ten new "Old Testament" commandments Invent ten reasons why you I would give people medals Invent the conversation you might have if you met with an alien Invent the worst opening sentence of a novel Invent ways of disposing of a body Invent Winston Churchill's next line Invite friends out for a drink after work Jump on your chair and shout "cockroachI" to frighten your colleagues Keep a diary Lace your shoes differently Laugh at old photographs of yourself and colleagues Laugh at your boss latest demands Lean back in your chair and look at the ceiling Learn five new words in your dictionary Learn how to carry out resuscitation Learn the symbols for the signs of the zodiac Learn to calculate Learn to draw an equilateral triangle Learn to identify pasta types Learn to identify the names for parts of a sword Learn to identify the sex of earwigs Learn to read your fortune in the lines on the palms of your hands Lie horizontal on the floor Lie very still and pretend to be dead List a boy's and girl's name for each letter of the alphabet List a the hotels you have stayed in List all the animals you would like to visit at the zoo List all the places in the world you would like to visit List as many creepy-crawly insects as you can List the faults of your friends List what you would do if you had only ten days to live List what you would do if you had only ten minutes to live List your ten favorite actors or actresses List your ten favorite names for boys List your ten favorite names for girls Listen in one private conversation Listen in to other people's conversations and pretend they are talking to you (added by Andrea W.) Listen to pop music on headphones Listen to the radio Look at old diaries to see what you did this timeast year and the year before Look at your vacation photos Look out of the window Look through last year's staff party photographs Look to See if anything has fallen behind the radiators Look up the value of your old LPs in a catalog Make a "Big Brother" poster of your boss using the photocopier Make a Christmas card list of friends Make a cup of coffee Make a cup of tea Make a funny hat Make a ist of your charms Make a liist of time-wasting activities Make a list in order of priority of the tasks to do Make a list of all the books you would like to read (added by Andrea W.) Make a list of all the people you owe dinner invitations Make a list of all the people you'd enjoy having sex with Make a list of anagrams from your name Make a list of books you have already read (added by Andrea W.) Make a list of everything you ate yesterday Make a list of extinct or endangered species Make a list of friends you could write to when you get back Make a list of omissions from this list Make a list of people you should invite to dinner Make a list of ten questions you would ask Napoleon should you meet in the afterlife Make a list of the ten best films ever made Make a list of the ten most attractive men in the world Make a list of the ten most attractive women in the world Make a list of the ten people you would arrest immediately if you became dictator Make a list of the things you would do to your bank manager if you had power over him Make a list of the things you are most afraid of having done Make a list of the things you are most proud of having done Make a list of things that you would pack to take on a vacation to Hawaii Make a list of things to do on the weekend Make a list of your best features Make a list of your debts Make a list of your faults Make a list of your replies in answer to questions about your work colleagues so the lie detector does not reveal your true feelings Make a machine for blowing smoke rings Make a mask out of a piece of card or paper Make a musical instrument from a paper and comb Make a musical instrument out of drinking straws Make a paper airplane Make a paper box Make a paper chain Make a paper hat from office stationery Make a paperclip chain Make a parcel of unwanted objects and send it to someone in a different departs Make a rubbing of a coin Make a shopping list for next Christmas Make faces at the goldfish Make facial expressions in a mirror Make funny faces at the person nearest you Make ink blots and move them around to form shapes Make labels for all the office drawers Make patterns with paperclips Make rude gestures to passersby Make rude hand gestures Make shadaw images with your hands Make silhouette cutouts of your workmates Make silly noises Make sure that the birthdays of all your family and friends are listed in your office calendar Make ten words from your name using each letter just once Make up a joke Make up a nonsense conversation to have with a friend Make up anagrams for different countries Make up some Chinese-style writing and invent what it says Make your desk untidy then make it tidy again Make your own crossword puzzle Make yourself sneeze (added by Matt J.) March around the office like a Roman soldier Massage the bags under your eyes Master the art of playing musical spoons Measure the height of the plant by your desk Measure theength of your fingers Measure your height Meditate Memorize the formula for calculating the velocity of water passing through a tube giving the interior distance and the speed Memorize the order of the books in the "Old Testament" Name Snow White's seven dwarfs Name the 101 Dalmations Panic Peel an orange Peep through a keyhole at an office meeting Phone a friend and resolve a disagreement Phone someone in your office to see if they are bored Phone up an airline and find out how much it would cost to travel to London on Concorde Phone up someone in the company you do not know and say hello Photocopy pictures of places you would like to visit from an old history book Photocopy your hand Pick a day to take your children to the park Pick off old nail polish Pick the worst team you can think of in your favorite sport Pick your nose Pickyour teeth with a toothpick Place a collection of new magazines in the bathroom for guests to read Plan a bank robbery Plan a camping vacation Plan a day at your favorite beach Plan a day when you stay at home sick and lie in bed and do nothing Plan a Halloween party Plan a night out with your best friends at your favorite restaurant Plan a trip in a hot-air balloon with your partner Plan a trip to Europe if you have not been there Plan a visit to a local historic building Plan how to give up smoking or any vice Plan to achieve an ambition Plan to dispose of a body Plan what to do with the money when you win the state lottery Plan what you will cook for dinner this evening Plan what you would do with one ten hours to live Plan your retirement Play a card trick on a friend Play a game of gin rummy Play a tune on a cup with a spoon Play a tune on a rubber band Play a tune on your teeth Play a tune on your teeth with a pencil or ballpoint pen Play a tune with your tongue (make galloping sounds) Play an imaginary harmonica Play cards with a colleague Play cards with a group of workmates Play music to your plants Play solitaire Play solitaire and cheat Play with a hole in your teeth with your tongue Play with the candy wrapper while you eat the candy Play with the keys or money in your pocket Play with the things on your desk Play with worry beads Play with your watch strap Play your boss at checkers Play yourself at chess - and cheat Play yourself at tick-tack-toe Play yourself at tick-tack-toe Pluck your eyebrows Polish a peach Polish and shine an old coin Polish spectacles Polish your nails Pop air out of the pockets in plastic sheet materials Practice juggling Practice balancing a dime on its edge Practice bandaging your finger Practice belching Practice blinking with one eye and then the other Practice blowing smoke rings Practice body-building in a mirror Practice different handwriting styles Practice drawing perfect circles without a compass Practice drinking from a cup while lying down Practice farting Practice folding your suitjacket for your next business trip Practice forging your boss's signature Practice hand shadow art Practice insulting hand gestures Practice levitating Practice magic card tricks Practice making strange faces in the mirror Practice making paper cutouts Practice rubbing your tummy and rubbing your head at the same time Practice signing someone else's signature Practice telepathy with your workmates Practice the Mona Lisa smile Practice the skill of clicking your fingers Practice throwing crumpled up pieces of paper into the wastepaper basket Practice touching your chin with your tongue Practice touching your nose with your tongue Practice walking on on leg Practice writing a letter without looking at the paper Practice writing your name with the hand you don't usually write with Practice writing your signature left-hand Practice your swimming skills by lying across a stool Pray for an easier life Pray for something good to happen Predict which football team will win this year's Super Bowl Press the cap of your ballpoint pen in and out Pretend you are walking on the moon Pretend gou are a race car driver Pretend to be a bird Pretend to be dead and lie very still Pretend to dance around the room with Fred Astaire Pretend to hold a gun and shoot people as they walk by Pretend you are a statue Pretend you are speaking to someone on phone Pretend you can walk on the ceiling Pretend you have lost your memory Promise not to swear ever again Promise to become a blood donor Prune and shape the company bonsai tree Puff up your cheeks and make squishing sounds with your mouth Puff up your cheeks with air in your mouth Pull down your cuffs and fiddle with the buttons widdle your thumbs Pull off the petals of a flower reciting "she loves me - she loves me not" Pull up your socks Push back the cuticles on your nais Put cotton balls in your ears and imagine you are deaf' Put markers in books on topics of interest Put the books on your Shelf in Order of subject Raise hell Raise your hat to an imaginary passerby Read a book upside down to see if anyone notices Read a map of the places you will never ao to Read a newspaper Read a tourist brochure Read all of itoday's mail again Read an old TV Guide Read any section of a dull book Read every entry in this book, holding it at arm's length Read Genesis and give an estimate for the cost of creation Read Ludwig Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus Read the acknowledgments of a book Read the annual financial report of a major corporation - and figure out its real value Read the Chinese take-out menu and chooseyour lunch Read the ingredients on a sauce bottle Read the obituary column of your local newspaper Read this book right through again Read this book with one eye shut Read your horoscope in an old newspaper Read your own fortune in a teacup Rearrange tapes Rearrange the boardroom furniture Rearrange the office Re-arrange the workspace Recite the alphabet backward Refill your fountain pen Refill your staple gun Rehearse your excuses for when you are caught in an embarrassing situation Remember a long-lost relative or friend Remember a sad moment Remember a special day Remember a trip to Europe Remember all the people at your bus stop on the way to work Remember all your old addresses Remember an embarrassing moment as a child Remember an old friend Remember items in this book that have been repeated Remember last Friday's hangover Remember the age when you wore a bra Remember the last time you won money at cards Remember times when you were at a beach as child Remember what you looked like when you were young Remember where everything is in your living room Remember where you've seen aarge clock (and what time it was) Remember your childhood Remember your fauorite song Remember your first day at work Remember your first girlfriend or boyfriend Remember your first kiss Remember your last train journey Remove hairs from your clothes Remove the chewing gum from underneath chairs and tables Remove the dead flies from the lampshade Remove the peel from an apple in one continuous piece Repot the oflice plants Reserve some tickets for a show Rethink what was said to you yesterday Retie your shoelaces Ring your own phone number to check that your phone is working Roll up bits of paper and throw them at friends Rub the rim of a glass until it "sings" Rub the sides of your nose with your thumb and forefinger Rub your tummy while tapping your head Run around the office as though someone were chasing you Run naked around the office Say "Oh, dear me" repeatedly Scratch a spot Scratch your arm where it is not itching Scratch your eyebrow with your finger Scribble on an old fax Search for faces in the wallpaper Search our hair for lice Search the local telephone directory and call people with the same name as yourself and ask whether they are relatives See how ar down a chair you can slide before you fall to the ground See how far you can reach up your back with your hand See how long you can hold your breath See how many different positions you can get your desk lamp to go in See how many different writing implements you can find See how many times you can fold up a piece of paper See how many ways you can write the name of the town you live in See how many words you can make from your own full name See what your name spells when you write it backward See who has the most money in their pockets and make them buy lunch Seek an understanding of your future in the pattern of coffee grinds in your cup Select a name for your house Send messages to colleagues via your computer Send someone you love a gift Set a clockwork mouse off around the office Shadowbox Sharpen all your pencils Show a friend sexy photos Show colleagues cartoons of your boss Sing a song in the style of your favorite popstar Sing arias from operas very loudly, waving your arms around at the same time Sing your favorite song Sit and catch people's eyes as they walk by Sit and cross and uncross your legs Sit and stare out of the window Sit and think about why you work where you do Sit and worry Sit at a colleague's desk while they are not there Sit facing a blank wall Sit in as many different positions as you can in the same chair Sit on the floor Sit on the stairs Sketch your workmates when they are not looking Slurp your coffee to distract everyone Smoke a cigar Smoke pot in the storeroom Snarl at someone you dislike Sneak up behind a colleague and try to tie their shoelaces together Sort out all your used envelopes Sort out old newspapers and magazines Sort out the rubber bands in the stationery drawer Sort out used ballpoint pens Spin a coin Split a pencil to see if you can get the lead out in one piece Squeeze the zits on your face Stack up used paper cups and then knock them down Stand and sit continually for thirty seconds Stand holding a chair and swing alternate legs backward and forward Stand On One leg for a month Stand on your desk and wish everyone "Good morning!" Stand on your head Stand on your head and recite your favorite poem Start an argument with colleagues Stick ex libris plates on your books Stomp on plastic cups Straighten the picture on the wall Straighten the wire clothes hangers in the closet String together rubber bands Study a map of a region you are unlikely to ever visit Study the controls of a space shuttle so you can pilot the ship back to earth Suck peanuts Sulk Surprise someone at work you don't know by taking them a cup of coffee or tea Swap your socks over (added by Matt J.) Swat a fly Swing on your chair Take all the dead matches out of matchboxes Take the bulb out of your desk lamp and replace it Take up yoga Take your pulse Talk for hours on the phone Talk to a colleague about your favorite schoolteachers Talk to a friend about a problem at home Talk to angels Talk to fairies Talk to the office plants Teach yourself to play the spoons Tear an old telephone directory in half Tease a workmate Tell a friend what happened over breakfast Tell someone a spooky campfire tale Tell someone to calm down Tell someone you just really don't care Test the pens on your desk Test your eyes using an eye-testing chart Test your IQ Test your memory by writing down what you did yesterday Thi nk what you would do if you inherited a mansion Think about cleaning your children's bedrooms Think about haw big this dinosaur's toes might have been after seeing its thigh bone Think about how humans evolved Think about how lonely astronauts must feel up in space Think about looking down from a great height Think about sex Think about your favorite type of tree Think back to when you last mowed a lawn Think how long it would take you to draw the Bayeux Tapestry Think of a caption for the two pictures below Think of a comic you read as a child Think of a different thing you could do during your lunch break for the next two weeks Think of a famous person you would like to draw or interview Think of a job you would not like to do Think of a new route to get to work Think of a new use for a strange tool Think of a news story for an employee newsletter Think of a spot in the countryside you have longed to visit Think of all the things you can sell that you don't really need Think of an animal for each letter of the alphabet Think of five people you would give a medal for bravery Think of how you would fire someone if you were the boss Think of something you would prefer to be doing now Think of ten climb the stairs to work in a suit of armor Think of ten excuses you could have used to stay in bed this morning Think of ten reasons why you should not get married Think of ten reasons why you should get married Think of ten ways to cure a hangover Think of ten ways to get away with murder Think of the day you got married Think of the reason why there are entries in this book Think of the ten most beautiful women in the world Think of the ten most handsome men in the world Think of uses for every room in your own castle Think of your favorite soccer goal and imagine yourself as the goalkeeper Think qf ten ways to get into a castle unnoticed Think up an advertisement using a toucan Think up the most unlikely business trip Think what graffiti you would write on the toilet walls Think what would be your favorite sight from the crow's nest of a ship Think what you could do with three extra fingers Think what you will bring back as presents for friends and relatives from your next vacation Think what you would do if you lost your job Think what you would do with three wishes from your very own genie Think where you would like to be buried when you die Think who you would take away with you for a dream weekend Throw a fit Throw all your problems at someone else Throw away old credit cards and business cards Throw playing cards into a hat Throw things at people from your office window (then hide) Throw your paper airplane to someone, if you haven't already Tidy your office drawers Tidy your work area Tie knots in a piece of string Tie little bits of string into one long piece Tie up your shoelace with only one hand Torment the cat Toss a coin in the air as high as you can without hitting the ceiling Toss a coin ten times to see how many times it comes up heads Toss a dime from your forearm onto your hand Touch your toes Trim your nose hairs Try a self-portrait Try and remember your parents' zip code Try on hats from the hat stand Try to add letters to a notice to change its meaning Try to catch nuts in your mouth by throwing them in the air Try to curl up your toes Try to find a baby sitter and arrange a night out Try to get a dent out of a Ping-Pong ball Try to guess the color of objects while blindfolded Try to imagine what your children are doing Try to look at the end of your nose Try to move a coin by telepathy Try to pick up small objects using crossed fingers Try to read a page of a book upside down Try to recall the names of kids in your elemental scool Try to recall the periodic table Try to recall your earliest thoughts Try to remember the Gettysburg Address Try to remember old group photos and the names of everyone in them Try to remember old jokes Try to remember the color of your friends eyes Try to remember the formula for the volume of a sphere Try to remember the license plate numbers of a the cars you have ever owned Try to remember the name of the tiny man in The Maltese Falcon Try to remember the order of Ten Commandments Try to remember the tune of the Warsaw Concerto Try to remember what is the most you have ever drunk on one occasion Try to remember what you are supposed to be doing Try to remember what you did last week Try to remember what you did this time last year Try to remember where you put last year's Christmas list Try to remember who got drunk at the office party Try to remember who taught you chemistry in college Try to remember who told them Try to remember who was the class "brain" when you were fifteen years old Try to remember who won old national sports events Try to remember with how many airlines you have flown Try to see down your throat with a mirror Try to see the minute hand of your watch moving Try to slide as far down a chair as possible without falling off Try to touch your elbow with your tongue (added by Matt J.) Try to wiggle your toes Turn out your pockets and brush off the fluff Turn the radio on and find the most boring channel Turn your underwear inside-out (added by Matt J.) Twist around and around on your chair Twist the end of an imaginal mustache Twist your face into different shapes Twist your legs around the chair in which you are sitting Type an anonymous letter to someone and send it through inter-office mail Type your curriculum vitae Untangle t:he telephone cord Untangle the cords on your blinds Visit a friend Wait until your boss leaves, then blow a raspberry Wake up a friend Wake up your grandparents with a phone call Walk about quickly so you look busy Walk around the building looking busy Walk up and down Wander around the office looking busy Wash out old fountain pens Wash your hands Watch a friend work Watch a friend working and mimic their habits Watch a sunset Watch the clouds to see which way the wind is blowing Watch water run down a window pane Water the plants Wear a fancy hat for an hour Whistle a tune Whistle out a tune Wind up your watch Wink at someone across the room Work as slowly as a snail or a giant tortoise Work out how much you could save if you gave up smoking or other activities Work out how to pay for your dream car Work out how to spend this week's paycheck Work out number puzzles in your head Work out the perfect murder Work out the real meaning of life Work out what percentage of your salary you spend on going to work Work out what time it is in Tokyo Work out your height in meters Work out your weight in kilos Write a letter of protest about some local urban development to the relevant government officials Write a letter to a famous person who is dead Write a letter to Santa Claus Write a letter to the Prime Minister of Britain Write a limerick Write a poem Write a rude note to your bank Write down all the people that you really care about Write down ten reasons why you belong to your religion (if you are religious) Write graffiti on toilet walls Write letter to a friend Write lyrics to Ravel's Bolero Write out your favorite poem as small as you can Write the year in Roman numerals Write the first paragraph of a comedy or a tragedy for the theater Write the words to your favourite song backwards (added by Matt J.) Write to the author of this book Write to the author of this book and thank him for wasting your time Write words in the mist formed by your breath on a cold window or mirror Write your autobiography in brief Write your date of birth in Roman numerals Write your epitaph Write your name and address in mirror writing Write your name on your office cup Write your obituary
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fuck you [ |
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05-04-05, 08:23 PM | #2 | |||||||||||
^TO FEAR OR NOT TO FEAR?^
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IP: 80C0 0B9B
lol doin wut u just did..............................
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Last edited by shake-spear : 05-04-05 at 08:28 PM. |
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05-04-05, 08:24 PM | #3 | |||
(TeamOne)
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IP: ED66 A1C5
#1001... read that post
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05-04-05, 08:26 PM | #4 | ||||
GG Haterz
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IP: FC2A 22F7
#1002
Go on RV
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For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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05-04-05, 08:27 PM | #5 | |||||||
the medicine man
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IP: 888C 2BD4
1003#.. make a thread about 1000 ways to waste time
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05-04-05, 08:27 PM | #6 | ||||
(TeamOne)
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IP: ED66 A1C5
Quote:
^^ aaaaahahahahahaha |
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05-04-05, 08:29 PM | #7 | ||||
vanquising Mc's Daily
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IP: A4D1 8588
Lol.............................
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fuck you [ |
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